Thursday, September 04, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Maturity takes its place
The indecent proposal has never stop. That's for sure. God is always testing people like me especially. Somehow its depends on individual. Can only smile and let it be.
They may say anything, assume anything...
Sometime its good just to play with it a bit and let it pausedddddddddd for a long time and then tickle it again. It does not do harm to anyone. Neither me or the other party.
Days past by without looking back what have we left and the unpredictable tomorrow still coming as it should. Takings things as it is making it easier for me to handle everything now.
No more predicament, no more hassle and no more sad feeling i hope...
They may say anything, assume anything...
Sometime its good just to play with it a bit and let it pausedddddddddd for a long time and then tickle it again. It does not do harm to anyone. Neither me or the other party.
Days past by without looking back what have we left and the unpredictable tomorrow still coming as it should. Takings things as it is making it easier for me to handle everything now.
No more predicament, no more hassle and no more sad feeling i hope...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ripe, Mature and Irresistible
My trip was successfully ventured. Was it my birthday treat? Its merely a gateaway for me just like what i did last year to Singapore. I had fun. Pleasing myself luxuriosly on things i love to do.
TRAVEL - i visit one place at a time beside some shopping. Im yet to discover the place for portraiting myself or rather "the riched of our nature". This time it was pleasant because i shop more for my children besides friends and a bit for my pocket money. Being a company to him was the best i guess so far.
Understanding a person do take a long time. I don't have much time talking to him either. Its either he is busy bargaining with the shop while im busying myself discovering lots of new things around the places. I found it so amusing going with a man who loves to shop. I feel bored and tired easily just like those typical men do. Erkkkk...
The moment i reach hotel, i showered not even bothered to make coffee to pleased myself after the treat of shopping i doze of to heavily sleep till i hear snores beside me. The familiar sound again came to mind where i shared my bed with my ex husband.
They snored while sleeping. LOUDLY!! If only it was him (i mean my ex) im sure i will be slapping his mouth just to shut him out for a while. Sigh... Something that i've not shared for a very long time.
He told me i did not lie on my back while sleeping, i hide my face on the bed instead. So he is not sleeping but watching me. Anyway i was too tired to share what we did during the day time. As early as 630AM our time i was awake by the alarm and remembered my kids.
From time to time my past being digged and i just changed the subject as and when i think it should or shut his mouth by tiny little kiss. Caught by surprised of my behaviour and i was warned in due course.
I told him that was me the unpredictable, the and adventurous & thrill, and spontaneous. I can be so emotional, i can be rational but then its alway depending on the situation. People dont poke me I wont jump out of the blue of course. I think deep ahead, which to some people i am very emotional. Whatever it is i know what im doing, expecting and going through. Yes i may be get hurt but i am prepared of it now.
Lets see how the flow is taking me. I have cried enough before my birthday listening to her about him. Yes, you know based on what you hear from me, him and others and i am based to what i am experiencing. I dont have to tell all. You have every rights to get angry over a situation merely because you are very lucky. Very very lucky but then its my part that i have to take and carry along the way of love i am building.
I can for sure build it and kills the love and desire i have had.
I dont sound enthusiastic at time when i speak to certain people. Why??? Let them find it out. I have explained enough throughout. If you don't see me through, just like i see you that means i have to wait patiences till you understand it yourself. If you don't then im sorry i cant help you further.
Our last day together has bring his sad mood. He was being quiet in the car which brings us separate homes.
While i am looking forward to see my children that i misses so much and he is keeping his sadness.
I cant help you on that im sorry. You have to go back to whom you belongs to. I belongs to no one. And im happy to be back home where love envelopes us together.
And the number has made me ripe, mature and irresistible i noted...
On the other hand i feel jealous over the other friend who wake up in the wee hours seeking for his love and finding solace to get HIS attention, love and reward. I am yes feeling very very very jealous when i hear those. She has gotten all the reward even on the other hand she is in a battle of loosing the husband to another woman.
Kasih yang amat sejati dan kekal adalah dengan menjadi kekasih allah... Bilakah waktunya aku akan menyerahkan seluruh hidup, jiwa dan hatiku padanya sedangkan dalam kehidupan ku seharian terisi kasih darinnya yang tiada berbelah bagi dari 2 jari tapakku hinggalah kesaat ini.
Aku harus berjuang untuk itu... Harus..
TRAVEL - i visit one place at a time beside some shopping. Im yet to discover the place for portraiting myself or rather "the riched of our nature". This time it was pleasant because i shop more for my children besides friends and a bit for my pocket money. Being a company to him was the best i guess so far.
Understanding a person do take a long time. I don't have much time talking to him either. Its either he is busy bargaining with the shop while im busying myself discovering lots of new things around the places. I found it so amusing going with a man who loves to shop. I feel bored and tired easily just like those typical men do. Erkkkk...
The moment i reach hotel, i showered not even bothered to make coffee to pleased myself after the treat of shopping i doze of to heavily sleep till i hear snores beside me. The familiar sound again came to mind where i shared my bed with my ex husband.
They snored while sleeping. LOUDLY!! If only it was him (i mean my ex) im sure i will be slapping his mouth just to shut him out for a while. Sigh... Something that i've not shared for a very long time.
He told me i did not lie on my back while sleeping, i hide my face on the bed instead. So he is not sleeping but watching me. Anyway i was too tired to share what we did during the day time. As early as 630AM our time i was awake by the alarm and remembered my kids.
From time to time my past being digged and i just changed the subject as and when i think it should or shut his mouth by tiny little kiss. Caught by surprised of my behaviour and i was warned in due course.
I told him that was me the unpredictable, the and adventurous & thrill, and spontaneous. I can be so emotional, i can be rational but then its alway depending on the situation. People dont poke me I wont jump out of the blue of course. I think deep ahead, which to some people i am very emotional. Whatever it is i know what im doing, expecting and going through. Yes i may be get hurt but i am prepared of it now.
Lets see how the flow is taking me. I have cried enough before my birthday listening to her about him. Yes, you know based on what you hear from me, him and others and i am based to what i am experiencing. I dont have to tell all. You have every rights to get angry over a situation merely because you are very lucky. Very very lucky but then its my part that i have to take and carry along the way of love i am building.
I can for sure build it and kills the love and desire i have had.
I dont sound enthusiastic at time when i speak to certain people. Why??? Let them find it out. I have explained enough throughout. If you don't see me through, just like i see you that means i have to wait patiences till you understand it yourself. If you don't then im sorry i cant help you further.
Our last day together has bring his sad mood. He was being quiet in the car which brings us separate homes.
While i am looking forward to see my children that i misses so much and he is keeping his sadness.
I cant help you on that im sorry. You have to go back to whom you belongs to. I belongs to no one. And im happy to be back home where love envelopes us together.
And the number has made me ripe, mature and irresistible i noted...
On the other hand i feel jealous over the other friend who wake up in the wee hours seeking for his love and finding solace to get HIS attention, love and reward. I am yes feeling very very very jealous when i hear those. She has gotten all the reward even on the other hand she is in a battle of loosing the husband to another woman.
Kasih yang amat sejati dan kekal adalah dengan menjadi kekasih allah... Bilakah waktunya aku akan menyerahkan seluruh hidup, jiwa dan hatiku padanya sedangkan dalam kehidupan ku seharian terisi kasih darinnya yang tiada berbelah bagi dari 2 jari tapakku hinggalah kesaat ini.
Aku harus berjuang untuk itu... Harus..
Poem for Mom
A mother, a father, this woman’s job is never done. A cooker, a cleaner, trying and trying, tired and tired, waiting til this day is done.
A flower in the light, and a tear in the dark trying, trying and doing the best that she can do.
What this day will bring, she wish she had the key, only no one knows, cause a skirt she wears in the morning light and as the evening nears, a pair of trousers with a loving smile that layers and peels into a grim stern face holding on, trying, trying to do the best that she can do.
A mother, a father, a mother playing a father’s role, caught up in rising and raising her pride and her joy, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be while she struggles to do the best that she can do.
Traded-in for a better life without them, fathers who left no pride or joy behind because they could not do and be the best that they could be.
But, still this mother allows herself to rise so that she can raise her children the best she can. A mother and a father that’s all she can be, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be so that her children can be the best that they can be.
Trying and trying, rising and rising and raising her children to be the best that they can be.
A flower in the light, and a tear in the dark trying, trying and doing the best that she can do.
What this day will bring, she wish she had the key, only no one knows, cause a skirt she wears in the morning light and as the evening nears, a pair of trousers with a loving smile that layers and peels into a grim stern face holding on, trying, trying to do the best that she can do.
A mother, a father, a mother playing a father’s role, caught up in rising and raising her pride and her joy, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be while she struggles to do the best that she can do.
Traded-in for a better life without them, fathers who left no pride or joy behind because they could not do and be the best that they could be.
But, still this mother allows herself to rise so that she can raise her children the best she can. A mother and a father that’s all she can be, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be so that her children can be the best that they can be.
Trying and trying, rising and rising and raising her children to be the best that they can be.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Gajah dan Semut
Kemusnahan umat terlihat nyata sekarang. Tak ramai yang melihat itu dengan hati tapi yang nyata ianya tidak merunsingkan mereka sedikitpun. Ramai yang tidak ambil peduli apa yang berlaku disekeliling kita. Tetapi hanya menumpukan kepada apa yang mereka hadapi. Jelasnya tidak mudah untuk kita mengakui apakah kesilapan kita yang membawa kepada kejadian hari esok.
Kita saling menuduh antara satu sama lain jika berlaku pertelingkahan. Hakikatnya adalah perlu jika kita merenung apa kah sebabnya pertelingkahan itu. Zahirnya kita payah ingin mengalah tetapi renungan yang dalam akan membawa pada jawapan bahawa setiap perlakuan mesti ada sebab, bila, mengapa ia harus terjadi.
Kita saling menuduh antara satu sama lain jika berlaku pertelingkahan. Hakikatnya adalah perlu jika kita merenung apa kah sebabnya pertelingkahan itu. Zahirnya kita payah ingin mengalah tetapi renungan yang dalam akan membawa pada jawapan bahawa setiap perlakuan mesti ada sebab, bila, mengapa ia harus terjadi.
And the line draws nearer
Current mood: fabulous
Category: Blogging
A day before reaching 40...
Its a number indeed but its take long time to reach to that number. Path, ways, experience and also significance achievement conquered along the journey left so many memories.
I have come to a stage being ripe and mature. Even sometimes i feel im on the edge of life but mostly at times still at lost. I want but im scared, I need but i dont want to fight for it... why bcause i think if it is not meant for me it wont be mine anyway.
I have been receiving so many wishes throughout the last 10 days. Thank you friends. Ill be leaving on Wednesday nite and be back on Friday but im out again on Sat and Sun. My kids will be having their own camping program leaving me with my classmate to reunite again.
Till next update
Category: Blogging
A day before reaching 40...
Its a number indeed but its take long time to reach to that number. Path, ways, experience and also significance achievement conquered along the journey left so many memories.
I have come to a stage being ripe and mature. Even sometimes i feel im on the edge of life but mostly at times still at lost. I want but im scared, I need but i dont want to fight for it... why bcause i think if it is not meant for me it wont be mine anyway.
I have been receiving so many wishes throughout the last 10 days. Thank you friends. Ill be leaving on Wednesday nite and be back on Friday but im out again on Sat and Sun. My kids will be having their own camping program leaving me with my classmate to reunite again.
Till next update
Friday, July 04, 2008
Love and Honour
It was an honour to love and be loved by someone. But most importantly is to love HIM most and wholeheartedly. Only then you will know and understand what love is all about. The tenderness, the caring part, the passion, the calmness, the peace that you will carry in you within daily life.
The beautiful part is to accept things as it is although there is a plenty question to ask around you. Things happen because it has to according to HIM. It comes from yourself, within you.
Sometime we tend to be ignorance to certain issue towards people but the fact is some people around us couldn’t stand it. Do people really knows and understand you the way HE does?
Last nite I was sitting in my car for long listening to something factual and reality. Slowly the feelings changed into deep sadness of how some people see from their side. Yes, everyone has their own right towards everything. Reason why I don’t want to open up to anyone about my story was because I don’t want to change their perceptions. If that’s what you think about some people I let you think the way you want it.
Because of all people who knows whoever they are in your own life was only you to know them indepth. The social circle was to make us learn about individual. If certain people only learning how to live at the age of 30 or 20 or may 40. I’ve learn it all the way through. If people can’t stand my way I can’t make them understand certain things underlaying the reason gave.
But when she said I always justify, accommodate, adapting, accepting every reason one gave to me doesn’t that give her a signal. Am I not doing the same to her too? But who am I to question that? I just eat it up.
Do I complaint about one behaviour towards me sometimes. The most I could do was hibernate myself alone. I will only entertain who ever can. She was the longest friend I have but couldn’t see me in the true eyes but then again I told myself “that’s her”. I don’t complaint but I evaluate what she said my way.
When a married man goes out of the house to find love what does comes to mind? He’s not logical, he is stupid, he is insane, he is just testing waters, he is just pure lay, he is just bastard who never gets enough. No matter how good the woman are to them its still not enough.
Hunters they are, if they don’t eat it they would just smells it. Remembering what she says about Yusfi, reminds me to Halimi, who has to say this “you purposely arrange your swimming class or outing when you’re having your periods?”. I just smile and walks away from him looking at my children happily playing in the water.
There is always a purpose people asking, inviting and reason to be there. Why do I need a man when I have full complete life even its hard. Companion, understanding, share my reason why I still work here though I feel being penalize all the time but im happy of what im learning and do what I can.
I don’t want to go further. I had cried enough all night because of that conversation and its affected other people too. But then if she is capable to do that with me what more to others hence again I told myself “its just her”.
And I wake up taking my bath in wee hours seeking solace presenting my thoughts and soul to HIM. Only him will understand, and knows why I do that to everyone. I dare not ask HIM whether have I not being fair to everyone and why everyone is not being fair to me.
Was it not enough to be accommodating, adapting and understanding people around. I leave it to HIM to answer me in point of time. I don’t look forward to my birthday because its only brings me sadness of that I have done to people around me can never satisfy them enough.
Now is a time to satisfy and pleased my self alone.
The beautiful part is to accept things as it is although there is a plenty question to ask around you. Things happen because it has to according to HIM. It comes from yourself, within you.
Sometime we tend to be ignorance to certain issue towards people but the fact is some people around us couldn’t stand it. Do people really knows and understand you the way HE does?
Last nite I was sitting in my car for long listening to something factual and reality. Slowly the feelings changed into deep sadness of how some people see from their side. Yes, everyone has their own right towards everything. Reason why I don’t want to open up to anyone about my story was because I don’t want to change their perceptions. If that’s what you think about some people I let you think the way you want it.
Because of all people who knows whoever they are in your own life was only you to know them indepth. The social circle was to make us learn about individual. If certain people only learning how to live at the age of 30 or 20 or may 40. I’ve learn it all the way through. If people can’t stand my way I can’t make them understand certain things underlaying the reason gave.
But when she said I always justify, accommodate, adapting, accepting every reason one gave to me doesn’t that give her a signal. Am I not doing the same to her too? But who am I to question that? I just eat it up.
Do I complaint about one behaviour towards me sometimes. The most I could do was hibernate myself alone. I will only entertain who ever can. She was the longest friend I have but couldn’t see me in the true eyes but then again I told myself “that’s her”. I don’t complaint but I evaluate what she said my way.
When a married man goes out of the house to find love what does comes to mind? He’s not logical, he is stupid, he is insane, he is just testing waters, he is just pure lay, he is just bastard who never gets enough. No matter how good the woman are to them its still not enough.
Hunters they are, if they don’t eat it they would just smells it. Remembering what she says about Yusfi, reminds me to Halimi, who has to say this “you purposely arrange your swimming class or outing when you’re having your periods?”. I just smile and walks away from him looking at my children happily playing in the water.
There is always a purpose people asking, inviting and reason to be there. Why do I need a man when I have full complete life even its hard. Companion, understanding, share my reason why I still work here though I feel being penalize all the time but im happy of what im learning and do what I can.
I don’t want to go further. I had cried enough all night because of that conversation and its affected other people too. But then if she is capable to do that with me what more to others hence again I told myself “its just her”.
And I wake up taking my bath in wee hours seeking solace presenting my thoughts and soul to HIM. Only him will understand, and knows why I do that to everyone. I dare not ask HIM whether have I not being fair to everyone and why everyone is not being fair to me.
Was it not enough to be accommodating, adapting and understanding people around. I leave it to HIM to answer me in point of time. I don’t look forward to my birthday because its only brings me sadness of that I have done to people around me can never satisfy them enough.
Now is a time to satisfy and pleased my self alone.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Catching my page again
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Blogging
Blog ini semakin sepi...
Kerana aku tak punya waktu untuk meninjau maupun menulis. Waktuku tertebus dengan kehidupan seharian yang penuh. Ruang yang kosong cuma untuk tidur dan yang sedikit untuk dikongsi dengan mereka yang paling dekat.
Dad is back till after my birthday. Will be celebrating parents birthday by the end of this month hopefully since dad in the beginning and mom end of June. Perfect... n soon it will be then my brother and next mine.
So much to write so little space to spare. But life goes just like what i wanted to be. On certain circumstances I dont have much to comments nor to complaint. Im tight but im still leaving town on a regular basis.
Im going to visit Jakarta again for my birthday since Singapore is not likely to be seen anywhere. But who says i cant spare that moment. I will have to try. Its a must. Singapore sale is almost done but the memoirs of the celebration on few occasions never leaves my mind.
Wonderful is still waiting, amoi is still checking which bus im gonna hop in. More likely this time im going to Chitos or rather, Plaza Anggerik or Senayan or maybe Pasar Baru n get my potrait done.
Bali is schedule somewhere in August. This year im full with travel plans and self indulgence. Problems, yes there are but if men can put it aside so do me...
Till then I'll write again.
Category: Blogging
Blog ini semakin sepi...
Kerana aku tak punya waktu untuk meninjau maupun menulis. Waktuku tertebus dengan kehidupan seharian yang penuh. Ruang yang kosong cuma untuk tidur dan yang sedikit untuk dikongsi dengan mereka yang paling dekat.
Dad is back till after my birthday. Will be celebrating parents birthday by the end of this month hopefully since dad in the beginning and mom end of June. Perfect... n soon it will be then my brother and next mine.
So much to write so little space to spare. But life goes just like what i wanted to be. On certain circumstances I dont have much to comments nor to complaint. Im tight but im still leaving town on a regular basis.
Im going to visit Jakarta again for my birthday since Singapore is not likely to be seen anywhere. But who says i cant spare that moment. I will have to try. Its a must. Singapore sale is almost done but the memoirs of the celebration on few occasions never leaves my mind.
Wonderful is still waiting, amoi is still checking which bus im gonna hop in. More likely this time im going to Chitos or rather, Plaza Anggerik or Senayan or maybe Pasar Baru n get my potrait done.
Bali is schedule somewhere in August. This year im full with travel plans and self indulgence. Problems, yes there are but if men can put it aside so do me...
Till then I'll write again.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Jakarta Revisit
It was visited again after 2 months. This time only two of us with clear intentions and minds. He came along after an option given either him or her? ;-) Yes he doesn't know if Rome will be meeting me there. He was shocked when i told him we will meet my besties on the second nite.
Again the revisit was total successful and a blast as I am going with intentions and fully alert of what i want. Only problems when he made wrong calculations and it spoill the entire journey but arghhh thank god besties is there to save me. Yeah alhamdullillah in anyways she is always there to save me.
Again the revisit was total successful and a blast as I am going with intentions and fully alert of what i want. Only problems when he made wrong calculations and it spoill the entire journey but arghhh thank god besties is there to save me. Yeah alhamdullillah in anyways she is always there to save me.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Friendship
Why i choose this subject?
It has very deep meaning to me. How do i classify my friend, in what degree, category? Every one has their on set and segments. Very much of them are only on the top level. There is very few selected ones who earn my trust.
And those are very rare and hard to find. Why did i say that? I dont easily choose a fren amongst those ppl i meet, i saw, or pick from anywhere. I am a very choosy and selective person in terms of matching a person to jive with my personality.
Observation are first thing i do when i go out and meet people. I dont talk to just anyone if i dont want to and dont be nice if im not nice to you because i wont at all entertain you.
Some will commented I am hard person from the first look they see, some will easily label me a happy go lucky, some would just label me hard to please. I can be anything you want so long i wanted to play along with you. I suit and cater mine according to you.
How do i gain the trust and how do i trust my friends is very hard to explain. Im not a particularly easily commenting on people but i take critics and your recommendations base on subject, factual and situation. But how do i gain that trust really take long time to own it.
The pain which was carried along was hard to forget even its long forgiven. It leave me a very bad impact as i never ever easily trusting a person again until last nite when i post a question "can you be my friend".
This question has a very deep meaning. Nobody in my life had ever had this question if i have given them the priviledge. Why do I asked those question? While to be a friend some thinks we don’t need to ask but we just need to feel the click the chemistry. Out of many you find out there, I may be one who asked you this question. Why?
I have so many things to share but I scared that not many people would understand why I do it, I execute it, I keep it, I use it, whatever it is. I have so many issues kept in my box of trust having not revealed to anyone. And I am tired to keep it longer. I want a fren who understand this and share his or her idea.
I have one female version which I shared some and I want to have one male version where I can just pick up my fon and bombard with some questions and when I put the receiver I will be able to smile and tell myself ‘done! Your box is empty now’.
Again trust is the issue. No I don’t fully trust anyone. Although my best friend has some degree achieved but not fully. I reserved that 40% for me. I know they should not also trust me fully but its all up to them. I would not pushed them to do as i say. You are a free bird. Feel free to be who you are, what you are.
What makes I think you would? Good question to you and to me. Instinct I guess or merely on my super first observation. Perhaps and hopefully im not wrong this time.
3 infact that I used to call always somehow have gone. One with bz life, two because he asked me to stop that friendship. Why? Only and n him would know and understand why. And three I don’t have that standard to reveal to him. I want fresh anew.
Let me take the risk since I am not always confidence with myself and others let him take this chance to help me, to make me understand more n fully about each and individuals are unique, beautiful and individual.
It has very deep meaning to me. How do i classify my friend, in what degree, category? Every one has their on set and segments. Very much of them are only on the top level. There is very few selected ones who earn my trust.
And those are very rare and hard to find. Why did i say that? I dont easily choose a fren amongst those ppl i meet, i saw, or pick from anywhere. I am a very choosy and selective person in terms of matching a person to jive with my personality.
Observation are first thing i do when i go out and meet people. I dont talk to just anyone if i dont want to and dont be nice if im not nice to you because i wont at all entertain you.
Some will commented I am hard person from the first look they see, some will easily label me a happy go lucky, some would just label me hard to please. I can be anything you want so long i wanted to play along with you. I suit and cater mine according to you.
How do i gain the trust and how do i trust my friends is very hard to explain. Im not a particularly easily commenting on people but i take critics and your recommendations base on subject, factual and situation. But how do i gain that trust really take long time to own it.
The pain which was carried along was hard to forget even its long forgiven. It leave me a very bad impact as i never ever easily trusting a person again until last nite when i post a question "can you be my friend".
This question has a very deep meaning. Nobody in my life had ever had this question if i have given them the priviledge. Why do I asked those question? While to be a friend some thinks we don’t need to ask but we just need to feel the click the chemistry. Out of many you find out there, I may be one who asked you this question. Why?
I have so many things to share but I scared that not many people would understand why I do it, I execute it, I keep it, I use it, whatever it is. I have so many issues kept in my box of trust having not revealed to anyone. And I am tired to keep it longer. I want a fren who understand this and share his or her idea.
I have one female version which I shared some and I want to have one male version where I can just pick up my fon and bombard with some questions and when I put the receiver I will be able to smile and tell myself ‘done! Your box is empty now’.
Again trust is the issue. No I don’t fully trust anyone. Although my best friend has some degree achieved but not fully. I reserved that 40% for me. I know they should not also trust me fully but its all up to them. I would not pushed them to do as i say. You are a free bird. Feel free to be who you are, what you are.
What makes I think you would? Good question to you and to me. Instinct I guess or merely on my super first observation. Perhaps and hopefully im not wrong this time.
3 infact that I used to call always somehow have gone. One with bz life, two because he asked me to stop that friendship. Why? Only and n him would know and understand why. And three I don’t have that standard to reveal to him. I want fresh anew.
Let me take the risk since I am not always confidence with myself and others let him take this chance to help me, to make me understand more n fully about each and individuals are unique, beautiful and individual.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Successfull Reunion!!!
Finally it happens. At 2pm Fuzila came to my place hoping she can help on anything. Everything was planned and done except to my horror when roti jala arrive up only we realize its without the curry. Immediate i change my uniform again to be in the kitchen and chicken curry was on the stove in the next minute.
Sazuna was the first to appear on time and later came Nani, Zurimah, Zanzirah, Nojie, Nona, Anita, Jijah, Suraya, Teh, Ajie, Miza, Nafsiah (class monitor with lots of short circuit)
Spagethi, roti jala, currypuff, serimuka and carrot cake all laid nicely but then again catching the times was more precious then having those delicacies. Tired of laughing and when thirst starting to hurts the throats n stomach they continue with eating and talking again.
Most of them never change in terms of look, appearance and character. Some do, yes size varies, outlook, and way of behaviour. Thinking again way back when we were just teens what was potray on our face was just fun, happy without anything else. But now some show tremendously on how they potray themselves.
Some of us still single and available, some are married with my god 'meriahnya rumah mak kalau sekeluarga dijemput' (with Nafsiah accent), and some are single again with kids whom shortly will be married and we will be the Aunt Nenek's tuanya aku).
But all in all it was a success and it was the jolly good feeling we have after the reunion. We are trying to get as money number so to make more to join us and capture this in our memory again
Here are some pictures for us to remember.
Sazuna was the first to appear on time and later came Nani, Zurimah, Zanzirah, Nojie, Nona, Anita, Jijah, Suraya, Teh, Ajie, Miza, Nafsiah (class monitor with lots of short circuit)
Spagethi, roti jala, currypuff, serimuka and carrot cake all laid nicely but then again catching the times was more precious then having those delicacies. Tired of laughing and when thirst starting to hurts the throats n stomach they continue with eating and talking again.
Most of them never change in terms of look, appearance and character. Some do, yes size varies, outlook, and way of behaviour. Thinking again way back when we were just teens what was potray on our face was just fun, happy without anything else. But now some show tremendously on how they potray themselves.
Some of us still single and available, some are married with my god 'meriahnya rumah mak kalau sekeluarga dijemput' (with Nafsiah accent), and some are single again with kids whom shortly will be married and we will be the Aunt Nenek's tuanya aku).
But all in all it was a success and it was the jolly good feeling we have after the reunion. We are trying to get as money number so to make more to join us and capture this in our memory again
Here are some pictures for us to remember.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Catching Old Time Friends
Current mood: amused
Category: Friends
So many years we did not meet since the last we left school. So many information that i gathers along with the chat and laugh that caught over the phones. One gatherings is not enough and next is coming soon this weekend.
Hoping that i could get as many of them to come to the not so first meeting again after almost 20 years not meeting them.
I'm supposing its good to meet again but the story told before the meeting took place already feels like a heavyweight materials carried in my heart.
Argghh I am very emotional but then again its my classmate that im talking about whom i shared all the laughter, all the playful act during the class all the gossips about Chocranes Boys and so on.
Anyway i am very much looking forward to meet them again without any hesitation despite their status. Single and available, married but avaialble or even was married and available. Whatever they are, they are very much invited for the events.
Im hoping that all will turn well and will get as many to come and share the joyous event after almost a decade.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Thoughts of the Day - How important to Share in Marriage views from A Wife
- "A simple gesture, coming from my back, holding my waist, kissing my neck and whisper "good morning, sayang", is enough to make me smile the whole day. that gesture doesnt have to end with love making. but that was just that. (of course, if it carries to another level...oppss.. that's a different story la kan). those little gestures that hubby did and those little thoughts that he had, are those that spark the love back to our life. and that made me love him more. thank you sayang.
i feel like a small girl. learning, unlearning and relearning things. feeling the lost feelings. recovering the smiles. i guess, hubby is doing his extra best and working extra hard this time in this marriage. i too am working hard. we both have our shares. well, this is marriage kan? it takes two to tango. one cant be holding the weight too much as it will surely collapse. we both are now leading our life back together positively and insya allah, all is well".
Penned by - guile -
i feel like a small girl. learning, unlearning and relearning things. feeling the lost feelings. recovering the smiles. i guess, hubby is doing his extra best and working extra hard this time in this marriage. i too am working hard. we both have our shares. well, this is marriage kan? it takes two to tango. one cant be holding the weight too much as it will surely collapse. we both are now leading our life back together positively and insya allah, all is well".
Penned by - guile -
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough
Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
(Chorus)
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
(Chorus)
And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Kegetiranku...
While indulging dark chocolates with Almond and Mint Chocs, here i am writing my heart out to the mute screen and ever always available to receive any downpour or jolly good stuff.
The chocolate taste is good. Its a theraphy for emotional attack. For those whose dieting or watching the weight would not indulge in having this sinful therapy. Since my car are not allowing me to drive far away from here hence i have to just make do with whatever i can.
"Tidak bersyukurkah aku kerana tidak mahu menerima atau memahami?" Besties is pouring what ever she felt since last Friday. Now i hear only good things about her and him. Im glad when she is happy. Not wanting her to go back to her past and keep on telling her not to compare but enjoy whatever she has now while she can.
If for me i will have the benchmark of the odd numbers of months and then years and so on. Skeptical aye??? Yeah, i am. I wont deny me...
Its good to have some one who understands you very much on work, life and future. Although very much you have to be alarmed at all time as all we have are temporary.
Mine are very much stagnant as I always said. "If you don't change, I will!" And so i would not wait so much for him to call, to ask or rather to concern of my daily behaviour. Hey, for the past 6 years i am a survivor cant i not be still?
Hearing my conversation again with my new confidante.
"Orang akan rimas dengan emotional tantrum you or if you dont let people know, how would people understand you?"
Sebagai kawan atau kekasih,perlukah kita menyusahkan mereka. Ketika aku susah hati atau terlalu terdesak, segalanya akan tersungkam didalam dada sehingga terasa amat berat sekali. Namun untuk meluahkan ketika itu amat payah.
Yes, last week i managed to detach my mind from all of my friends who used to look after me. For once i tried and i am successful in doing it so much to know my ability to have them with me along with the situation.
Yes, i was so broken hearted with my family, my love ones but i did not even told anyone there n then. My children saw my eyes was glistening with tears. "Akak sygkan ibu"
She caught me pouring when she call almost midnite, i ask her why she took so long to reach me when i forgot that i have detach that emotional and mind bondage earlier. She always hear my heart out whenever i need her she would always be on the other end asking "are you ok"
Not just her few other girlfriends, yes thats the one thing i can do. Just call them from my end in the mind and they will come to line in few seconds. But never i took that opportunity to use my fren to my advantage. Never... Ill do it for the best of them to have the specialities of connecting with people.
Another question is "perlukah aku berteman?"
"Perlukah aku mempunyai lelaki didalam hidupku hanya kerana ingin memenuhi kekurangannya dan juga keperluan dirinya"
Benarkah kekurangan diriku itu akan menghimpit dan menyusahkan orang lain. Kerana itu aku tidak pernah berkejar kerumah mak kalau aku susah hati atau dihimpit masalah kewangan. Anak2 akan faham bila kalanya aku tidak ada. Aku pastikan anak2 aku cukup makan walau hanya dengan telur goreng dan kicap. Tidak juga berada di sekeliling teman2 yang lain.
Aku akan mengelak diri dari sebarang kegiatan luar rumah pada masa2 aku getir. Tahap2 kritikal amat hampir tetapi aku tetap tersenyum dan bersyukur. Semuga allah sentiasa mendengar kata hati aku walau aku bukan hambanya yang soleh namun aku akan sentiasa ingat akan DIRINYA.
Namun selagi ingatan terhadapnya tak putus selagi itu tidak akan putus pertolongan DARINYA. Cuma aku ada masalah dengan sesama insan untuk meminta kerana harga diri! Sedangkan aku tahu aku masih kuat lagi dan mampu untuk menanggung dan bekerja mengapa aku harus menyusahkan mereka sedangkan aku tak tahu sejauh mana kesusahan mereka pula.
SALAH KAH AKU?
The chocolate taste is good. Its a theraphy for emotional attack. For those whose dieting or watching the weight would not indulge in having this sinful therapy. Since my car are not allowing me to drive far away from here hence i have to just make do with whatever i can.
"Tidak bersyukurkah aku kerana tidak mahu menerima atau memahami?" Besties is pouring what ever she felt since last Friday. Now i hear only good things about her and him. Im glad when she is happy. Not wanting her to go back to her past and keep on telling her not to compare but enjoy whatever she has now while she can.
If for me i will have the benchmark of the odd numbers of months and then years and so on. Skeptical aye??? Yeah, i am. I wont deny me...
Its good to have some one who understands you very much on work, life and future. Although very much you have to be alarmed at all time as all we have are temporary.
Mine are very much stagnant as I always said. "If you don't change, I will!" And so i would not wait so much for him to call, to ask or rather to concern of my daily behaviour. Hey, for the past 6 years i am a survivor cant i not be still?
Hearing my conversation again with my new confidante.
"Orang akan rimas dengan emotional tantrum you or if you dont let people know, how would people understand you?"
Sebagai kawan atau kekasih,perlukah kita menyusahkan mereka. Ketika aku susah hati atau terlalu terdesak, segalanya akan tersungkam didalam dada sehingga terasa amat berat sekali. Namun untuk meluahkan ketika itu amat payah.
Yes, last week i managed to detach my mind from all of my friends who used to look after me. For once i tried and i am successful in doing it so much to know my ability to have them with me along with the situation.
Yes, i was so broken hearted with my family, my love ones but i did not even told anyone there n then. My children saw my eyes was glistening with tears. "Akak sygkan ibu"
She caught me pouring when she call almost midnite, i ask her why she took so long to reach me when i forgot that i have detach that emotional and mind bondage earlier. She always hear my heart out whenever i need her she would always be on the other end asking "are you ok"
Not just her few other girlfriends, yes thats the one thing i can do. Just call them from my end in the mind and they will come to line in few seconds. But never i took that opportunity to use my fren to my advantage. Never... Ill do it for the best of them to have the specialities of connecting with people.
Another question is "perlukah aku berteman?"
"Perlukah aku mempunyai lelaki didalam hidupku hanya kerana ingin memenuhi kekurangannya dan juga keperluan dirinya"
Benarkah kekurangan diriku itu akan menghimpit dan menyusahkan orang lain. Kerana itu aku tidak pernah berkejar kerumah mak kalau aku susah hati atau dihimpit masalah kewangan. Anak2 akan faham bila kalanya aku tidak ada. Aku pastikan anak2 aku cukup makan walau hanya dengan telur goreng dan kicap. Tidak juga berada di sekeliling teman2 yang lain.
Aku akan mengelak diri dari sebarang kegiatan luar rumah pada masa2 aku getir. Tahap2 kritikal amat hampir tetapi aku tetap tersenyum dan bersyukur. Semuga allah sentiasa mendengar kata hati aku walau aku bukan hambanya yang soleh namun aku akan sentiasa ingat akan DIRINYA.
Namun selagi ingatan terhadapnya tak putus selagi itu tidak akan putus pertolongan DARINYA. Cuma aku ada masalah dengan sesama insan untuk meminta kerana harga diri! Sedangkan aku tahu aku masih kuat lagi dan mampu untuk menanggung dan bekerja mengapa aku harus menyusahkan mereka sedangkan aku tak tahu sejauh mana kesusahan mereka pula.
SALAH KAH AKU?
Three things in Life...
Three things in life once gone never come back........
1. Words. 2. Opportunity.
3. Time.
Three things in life are never sure.
1. Dreams.
2. Success.
3. Fortune.
Three things in life that make you a great person.
1. Hard Work.
2. Sincerity.
3. Success.
Three things in life are most valuable..
1. Love.
2. Self respect.
3. Friends.
Three things in life must not be lost....
1. Peace
2. Hope
3. Honesty.
Three things in life that destroy a person...
1. Greed.
2. Pride.
3. Anger.
1. Words. 2. Opportunity.
3. Time.
Three things in life are never sure.
1. Dreams.
2. Success.
3. Fortune.
Three things in life that make you a great person.
1. Hard Work.
2. Sincerity.
3. Success.
Three things in life are most valuable..
1. Love.
2. Self respect.
3. Friends.
Three things in life must not be lost....
1. Peace
2. Hope
3. Honesty.
Three things in life that destroy a person...
1. Greed.
2. Pride.
3. Anger.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Bila Rasa Sudah Tiada
It was a very bz day yesterday. I was having good chat with some friends over chat and sms but not on the phone. The inner layer was soft but the outer was hard. Real cancerian with the mood swings.
Now i dont care much if he dont call or sms. Not needing to know whether i am needed or not. My last sms last night was "kekecilan hatiku adalah sangat kecil jika dibandingkan dengan kesedihan seorang isteri yang perlukan perhatian"
Siapalah aku, hanya orang ketiga yang tidak seharusnya berada disitu. Aku terlalu penat melayan karenah ingin yang mahu dilayani dan diladeni. Aku telah penat untuk memahami. Sekarang aku tak perlu sesiapa untuk memahami ku maupun aku untuk menyenangkan hati sesiapa.
I save so much in guarding my feelings and self. There is many around who trying to get their space their chances. Only thing i am keeping the space and queue accordingly. Now its open to everyone. As i always said "best man wins"
I remember someone saying "let ur openess of ur heart find it's destiny". And i know i have never been looking and i just make it open. The door to my heart is by making me see the action speaks than the words.
Progress are only number or time consumed to get the journey gets its destiny. I love a quote from Mike this morning "i think u r a friend with comandable character. I like u"
I was smiling all the way to my lunch. Having it not said also i know that my bitterness pull them away from me. I dont blame them and please dont blame me. Nothting that you do to glued me to you. No inspiration to have you tight beside me. Yes im craving for love n attention but im not a cheap bitch who will beg for love.
My place, my zone and my den are so cozy that i dont need anyone anymore till further notice. The adorable faces i always wanted to be with was my kids who always awaits for my home coming daily... God dont shove the love away from me just yet... let me have June to decide then may be you can give me
Now i dont care much if he dont call or sms. Not needing to know whether i am needed or not. My last sms last night was "kekecilan hatiku adalah sangat kecil jika dibandingkan dengan kesedihan seorang isteri yang perlukan perhatian"
Siapalah aku, hanya orang ketiga yang tidak seharusnya berada disitu. Aku terlalu penat melayan karenah ingin yang mahu dilayani dan diladeni. Aku telah penat untuk memahami. Sekarang aku tak perlu sesiapa untuk memahami ku maupun aku untuk menyenangkan hati sesiapa.
I save so much in guarding my feelings and self. There is many around who trying to get their space their chances. Only thing i am keeping the space and queue accordingly. Now its open to everyone. As i always said "best man wins"
I remember someone saying "let ur openess of ur heart find it's destiny". And i know i have never been looking and i just make it open. The door to my heart is by making me see the action speaks than the words.
Progress are only number or time consumed to get the journey gets its destiny. I love a quote from Mike this morning "i think u r a friend with comandable character. I like u"
I was smiling all the way to my lunch. Having it not said also i know that my bitterness pull them away from me. I dont blame them and please dont blame me. Nothting that you do to glued me to you. No inspiration to have you tight beside me. Yes im craving for love n attention but im not a cheap bitch who will beg for love.
My place, my zone and my den are so cozy that i dont need anyone anymore till further notice. The adorable faces i always wanted to be with was my kids who always awaits for my home coming daily... God dont shove the love away from me just yet... let me have June to decide then may be you can give me
Capricorns
Capricorn, the tenth Sign of the Zodiac, is all about hard work. Those born under this Sign are more than happy to put in a full day at the office, realizing that it will likely take a lot of those days to get to the top. That's no problem, since Capricorns are both ambitious and determined: they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do. Capricorns are practical as well, taking things one step at a time and being as realistic and pragmatic as possible. The Capricorn-born are extremely dedicated to their goals, almost to the point of stubbornness. Boy, those victories sure smell sweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.
The Goat symbolizes Capricorns, and an apt mascot it is. Goats love to climb to the top of the mountain, where the air is clear and fresh. In much the same way, Capricorns want to get to the top of their chosen field so that they can reap the benefits of success; namely fame, prestige and money. Getting to the top isn't always a walk in the park, however, so it's likely that Goats will ruffle a few feathers along the way. These folks can indeed be domineering, even egotistical, on their route to the top. They'll tell you it's part of being a leader with bright new ideas (in keeping with the Cardinal Quality assigned to this Sign).
Capricorns are industrious, efficient, organized and won't make a lot of waves. They are scrupulous with details and adopt a rather conventional posture in business and in life. These folks feel best playing it safe, since this is a fail-safe way to get to the top -- eventually.
Thankfully, Capricorns are patient, too, and are happy to wait for their ship to come in. The flip side to this staid behavior is that Goats can become quite unforgiving of those who aren't as diligent or ambitious as they are. Capricorns need to remember that they do need allies along the way, ambitious or otherwise. In any case, once Capricorns receive the recognition and social status they so fervently crave, it's likely that all will be forgiven.
The Goat symbolizes Capricorns, and an apt mascot it is. Goats love to climb to the top of the mountain, where the air is clear and fresh. In much the same way, Capricorns want to get to the top of their chosen field so that they can reap the benefits of success; namely fame, prestige and money. Getting to the top isn't always a walk in the park, however, so it's likely that Goats will ruffle a few feathers along the way. These folks can indeed be domineering, even egotistical, on their route to the top. They'll tell you it's part of being a leader with bright new ideas (in keeping with the Cardinal Quality assigned to this Sign).
Capricorns are industrious, efficient, organized and won't make a lot of waves. They are scrupulous with details and adopt a rather conventional posture in business and in life. These folks feel best playing it safe, since this is a fail-safe way to get to the top -- eventually.
Thankfully, Capricorns are patient, too, and are happy to wait for their ship to come in. The flip side to this staid behavior is that Goats can become quite unforgiving of those who aren't as diligent or ambitious as they are. Capricorns need to remember that they do need allies along the way, ambitious or otherwise. In any case, once Capricorns receive the recognition and social status they so fervently crave, it's likely that all will be forgiven.
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