My trip was successfully ventured. Was it my birthday treat? Its merely a gateaway for me just like what i did last year to Singapore. I had fun. Pleasing myself luxuriosly on things i love to do.
TRAVEL - i visit one place at a time beside some shopping. Im yet to discover the place for portraiting myself or rather "the riched of our nature". This time it was pleasant because i shop more for my children besides friends and a bit for my pocket money. Being a company to him was the best i guess so far.
Understanding a person do take a long time. I don't have much time talking to him either. Its either he is busy bargaining with the shop while im busying myself discovering lots of new things around the places. I found it so amusing going with a man who loves to shop. I feel bored and tired easily just like those typical men do. Erkkkk...
The moment i reach hotel, i showered not even bothered to make coffee to pleased myself after the treat of shopping i doze of to heavily sleep till i hear snores beside me. The familiar sound again came to mind where i shared my bed with my ex husband.
They snored while sleeping. LOUDLY!! If only it was him (i mean my ex) im sure i will be slapping his mouth just to shut him out for a while. Sigh... Something that i've not shared for a very long time.
He told me i did not lie on my back while sleeping, i hide my face on the bed instead. So he is not sleeping but watching me. Anyway i was too tired to share what we did during the day time. As early as 630AM our time i was awake by the alarm and remembered my kids.
From time to time my past being digged and i just changed the subject as and when i think it should or shut his mouth by tiny little kiss. Caught by surprised of my behaviour and i was warned in due course.
I told him that was me the unpredictable, the and adventurous & thrill, and spontaneous. I can be so emotional, i can be rational but then its alway depending on the situation. People dont poke me I wont jump out of the blue of course. I think deep ahead, which to some people i am very emotional. Whatever it is i know what im doing, expecting and going through. Yes i may be get hurt but i am prepared of it now.
Lets see how the flow is taking me. I have cried enough before my birthday listening to her about him. Yes, you know based on what you hear from me, him and others and i am based to what i am experiencing. I dont have to tell all. You have every rights to get angry over a situation merely because you are very lucky. Very very lucky but then its my part that i have to take and carry along the way of love i am building.
I can for sure build it and kills the love and desire i have had.
I dont sound enthusiastic at time when i speak to certain people. Why??? Let them find it out. I have explained enough throughout. If you don't see me through, just like i see you that means i have to wait patiences till you understand it yourself. If you don't then im sorry i cant help you further.
Our last day together has bring his sad mood. He was being quiet in the car which brings us separate homes.
While i am looking forward to see my children that i misses so much and he is keeping his sadness.
I cant help you on that im sorry. You have to go back to whom you belongs to. I belongs to no one. And im happy to be back home where love envelopes us together.
And the number has made me ripe, mature and irresistible i noted...
On the other hand i feel jealous over the other friend who wake up in the wee hours seeking for his love and finding solace to get HIS attention, love and reward. I am yes feeling very very very jealous when i hear those. She has gotten all the reward even on the other hand she is in a battle of loosing the husband to another woman.
Kasih yang amat sejati dan kekal adalah dengan menjadi kekasih allah... Bilakah waktunya aku akan menyerahkan seluruh hidup, jiwa dan hatiku padanya sedangkan dalam kehidupan ku seharian terisi kasih darinnya yang tiada berbelah bagi dari 2 jari tapakku hinggalah kesaat ini.
Aku harus berjuang untuk itu... Harus..
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