Her Last Day in School

Rahsia

Everyone has their own set of secret that can be shared and not.

Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.

UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.

She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.

My Klang girlfriend called me and blurted her wonder, her dissapointment of her son achievement over his 4As. At the end of the conversation she accused me that i dont understand her situation, her question, her amazement towards what she wants from god was just to grant her son achievement in the UPSR and not her life, her happiness and wellbeing.

I am upset for not being able to convinced her that is still a small testament HE is giving before she gave her TOTAL happiness, achievement and also fulfilling life later. At the end we both cry together.

It is hard to advice when one has already has her set of mind a failure in life all along. I was sad for she cant except the way to look at her own future, her own goal and set of life. She keep on looking at her past as a path to look for tomorrow.

Once, I was there who not able to see lights in the future because I set it to be gloomy, cloudy and hazy. But I beat the feeling by asking question after question to myself, over my performance, over what have I done to myself, community, life or HIM. Once I get the answer, once I know it was not in my hand, once I know I have not had an answer for it, I pass it back to HIM. Let HIM organise, let HIM lead, let HIM decide for me. If it is not for now, it may be for tomorrow or even maybe it was not destine for me.

Now I have things more clearly and I lead my life one at the time. Thanks to friends who have not given up to be there, who has been nice and always had the strong motivation words to give everytime I need it. Now I am more focus of what I want, where I go, whom I should be with, which one I shoud prioritise with and why am I still here for everything.

Alhamdullillah thank god for the lights and patience to make me understand the predicament is only temporary.

Lovely Piece

Look at this piece which amaze me. It was take by our Malaysian astronaut. The uniqueness of HIS creation which add the reason to believe that HE is the ALMIGHTY and the creator of all. The beauty lies not just int he piece of land its also in the piece of mind and its undescribeable.

Blue and white entice me so much on top of the world while Green n brown bring me down to earth. Two separate tonnation, two separate kinds unseparable. Day and nights it bring its own beauty n life.

Keeping this picture will always remind me of HIM. Somewhere that i never go, never even comes to mind how does it looks. With our astronaut the miracle was delivered in a form of picture which can be seen by everyone of us.

Nikmat Illahi

Semakin meningkat umur semakin membuatkan aku cekal dan tabah. Jika dulu aku sering memikirkan sesuatu terlalu mendalam dengan mengambil kira semua angle sekarang aku masih tetapi tidak lagi kalut jika ianya tidak hadir pada waktu itu. Aku hanya akan mengendalikannya jika waktu itu perlu ditangani ketika itu.

Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.

Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.

Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.

Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.

Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.

Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.

Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku

Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.

Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.

Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.

Jumbo Sale

My fren is migrating so she needs to sell of her items:

Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)

House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300

Household items etc

Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com

D' Datins Club Gatherings

I was invited for her daughter birthday party. There is many people including Chinese and Indian, not forgetting singles and married. As a friend i came bringing all four plus my mom to accompany me because she wanted to meet her during raya and she wasnt in town.

So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.

I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.

suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.

D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:

1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)

I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.

Pengertian

The call received on Wednesday afternoon was a shocked but since he was the one to tell me the news when he is better.

But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.

I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.

When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.

I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.

Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.

Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.

Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.

With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.

With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.

With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.

To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"

The beauty of words in the unfold life experience

Glad that people notice the eagerness, greediness and selfishness in them. I am always agree to that. As human we can run away from that feelings. The needs in us sometimes put away our sensibility and the building of the needs and wanting kills the good sense of ownself.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.

All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.

Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.

I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.

Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.

Aku atau Dia....

The facts that we are the same.Yang mungkin membezakan itu cuma karektor, attitude and behaviour.

My classmate call me out of nowhere with a tales story of a man. About him marrying 22 years old girl. About meeting her in 5 months and be able to buy her a house, giving her business, expensive watches, handbags, outfits etc. With my calm tone i told her to be patience and seek for HIS blessings and mercy for guidance and help. He cant leave his fellow asking without an answer and help her in her difficulties.

I have known her for over 20 years. She was my classmate, my collegemate, and my clubbing mate during our teen age. We live nearby, we date together, we share our stories, we share our plate and lots of other things too. I know him, I know her 1st boyfriend, i know her previous boyfriend and i know who she married too. Since she got married she become introvert. I hear from her once a while, i call her for rumah terbuka and some other occassion. I met her only once a while since then.

A month ago she traced me back and leave me an email that makes me curious about her life now. Since then she turned to me whenever she needs a friend to talk to. We become like the old teenage friend but this time being an advisor and lending an ear whenever she needs me.It happens around me all the time. If it is not my friend it is your friend or her friend friend's. Its too common. In her case I cant detect the lack of attention, love and passion like its always told by those men. He gets all he needs from a wife, a woman, a mother and also from a lover.

Man are just greedy at times, selfish when they can only see one side of the world. And I am the listener the observer taking all the inputs and download it in my box of heart computing and compiling it for the next chapter of life. I can just wish and make sure she will be better and be more patience of the obstacles. This is only one part. While other people face the worse like the case of Jurin.

Three of my daughters celebrate her birthdays few days ago and i am suppose to plan for break fasting outside one of this days. Sunday we are going to visit Rumah anak Yatim in Klang to share their experience with them.

Ramadhan

Semakin umur meningkat semakin berlainan perasaan bila ramadhan. Dengan anak-anak yang sentiasa tidak kisah dengan juadah asalkan sentiasa bersama menjadikan walau secawan minuman dan sebutir kurma terasa manisnya hingga jauh ke lubuk hati.

I want a change this year but yet to let it happen. I am blurred now and very unstable emotionally. Other than that its is sweet. Pressured was pinned on me n i know it was huge and a lot more on him. I am being ignored because he cant do 2 things at the same time. But being sensible at this time will kill the security feeling of someone. So let them fell shaken a little. I just hope HE keep my patience still and i dont have to walk away like i have been before.

To all my spacers who knows me alhamdullillah and thanks for the wishes and smses, Selamat menunaikan ibadah dan semuga Ramadhan membawa hidayah dan ukhuwah.

Selamat BerPuasa

Selamat Berpuasa to all my readers, blog hoppers and everyone who drops by.

Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak

Sesuatu Yang Membuka Mata Hati

Tiba- tiba dia call.

"oi aku nak minta maaf ni" I was blurr tetiba
"Arini malam nisfu syaaban, malam segala buku dosa diangkat allah kesana, marilah kita bermaafan." Hati ku dihiris dan dihimpit oleh kesedihan

Teman akan sentiasa ingat dan mengingatkan kita bila mana perlu.

Dan seorang lagi datang "lynna jangan lupa tadi mak aku call dia kata jangan lupa qiamulai malam ni" dan dia memandang tepat kemata aku "buat solat hajat minta apa yang you nak"

I wanted to cry but my heart are not allowing it. My eyes is watery but nothing comes out. I have series of arguments, i have been consoling, i have been tempting to burst but i become cool and compose all the mixture feelings in me to be compressed.

HE knows the best. Alhamdullillah he opened my eyes and soul tonite.

Pentas Hidup

After 3 years marriage will change slightly
After 5 years gap became bigger
After 7 years bridge may be a good outcome to connect each other
After 10 years something will come up

Of all the stages it includes silentness, arguments, heart feeling, pinpointing and the worst is infedility. Man turn to another woman and woman turn to another woman (mostly) but some will turn to another man

Women change mostly after the first baby appears. Thinking that little creature need their attention and neglecting the father are the biggest mistake. Women thought man can take care of their self. Knowing of the character of a man who is hard on the surface but actually more like a baby inside them.

Looking and searching always after a security, love, pamper, care, affections etc, that are the real man. Those who really knows how to play their role won't be feeling it badly because they have ways to mend the problem well. Knowing their woman are the best things they could do. And understanding why the changes took place are their credibility.

Note that im talking about a man who understand their woman enough. All men has ego, so do women.

But because nature of a women which is soft, lovable, emotional and feminine it makes them know where they are from and what are they heading. Mostly they are loyal although they are obsessed with the kids, family and some who has career. They put off their social life entirely just because they want full concentration of their family.

But still man are not enough of their woman who give 200% of their life to families. They need something to tickle they thoughts, their mind and feelings.

Some are just tickling without any emotional attention seeking. As they reach home the other half and family are their life. But at work calling and smsing are part of their routine life.

Some girls may be fine with the situation but for those single who are seeking for someone caring, understanding this are the right candidate and how that reflect those men?? (Sendiri cari pasal sendiri tanggung).

Back to the gaps that emerge after few years marriage, there is no reason for gaps actually. It’s the understanding needed between both. For the attention needed by the little ones as well as the big baby. Both has played good role in making the happy family.

Role of a father who has been out the whole day to bring bread home for families and role of a mother who may be working day time and rushed home to fulfilled the role as mother, wife and a lady to a man taking care of the whole welfare in making the marriage meaningful to her and him plus the kids should be taken seriously in making sure that both understand each duties.

But does this responsibilities make them needing each other more and better in terms of having each other to complete the beautiful life???

I know sometime things happen without we want it to be. Things just go out of ways unintentionally. Some would just do it because they want to fulfilled the eagerness of being needed some would just follow the flow without realizing they have gone so far.

Backtrack, think wisely will benefit both.

This reflectionary item will of course affects my decision.

Insecure and Inferior

In every individual the feelings are there. FIXED! Some trying hard to deny it although they're living happily in lavishing life.

But unfortunately the feels never dies as all of us human are created in a way to have the mixture sort.

One can do anything to reverse that feeling in them and make others have that miserable feeling but of course one who knows what they are wont feel the slight of it at all.

Lain Padang Lain Belalang

Nak Gelak Sikit

jo an: emmmm kalau pinggang girl 35...u agak di chubby tak
Please urself: thats not my problem n not for me to answer i dont go n check ppl bmi???

Thats my answer. I can be cynical and i can be cunning but the truth is women will never ask the man if he wear pants size 40 would he look nice in it or not?? Theres is some women who will give a shit about bmi and how the man look but some will care less.

As for me Ive been with small, big, tall, thin, chubby, macho, handsome not to forget masculine guys to be friend with. What more important to me was who is he than how he looks.

Looks can be deceiving. Nice to see, but not nice to talk with. Nice to be with but speaks nonsense I turn around and leave.

Anyway thats how men look at women, judging from the way she looks, her BMI do entice them.

Anyway lain padang lain belalang!!!

Measuring

When i don't agree to meet, was that a measure of arrogantness?

When im being expressive is that the best way to measure who am i or what am i?

When im being judge should i care what people think about me?

If my principle is being question would that make me less than a person?

If im in bad mood should i not laugh or smile at all to other people?

Im fine today it was just my mood swing on certain situation that doesnt make me happy today. Other than that, im fine. I was judged and critisize today the silly statement i made n that was accountable of who i am in their eyes. "Sigh"

Life and people are two different thing.

Expressive or Silent

However this topic occur my mind today.

Being expressive hardly attracts acceptance from people. But silent is a killing tools for communication.

Good & Bad abt Men & Woman

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others!


Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they will still say that they never have something to wear!
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, you hardly care .
6. Although you hardly care, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you!

Best and Memorable Holiday

Current mood: cheerful

I cant describe the feelings, the emotions when I step out from my house last Friday. On that very moment everything start with a good point and the laugh starts. Not because whom, but it was because im going to meet the people who had make my 39th birthday so wonderful and meaningful.

The minute we reach Puduraya I was told the bus had left on time!!! What the %^$&&&. It used to delayed on the last trip i had. But that doesnt make my mood turn sour nor turn off. Im still alive and get straight to the next bus and jump in. 4 hours later i reached Larkin and had jumped into a coach which is heading back to KL. I was lucky to have a good navigator n my mind raced back when they said it takes another 4 hours to reach the destination???

Shit!!!! Jumped down the bus n took transit and we are on the way to Woodlands. Phewww. 5 bus, if im not mistaken we had change buses 5 times that day. But it still give me good and lively mood plus laugh all the way to my hotel.

I have a great change of vision into this new area which is in the east of the lion city. Its full of Malays, the familiar faces i can say. Exhausted and taken a bath to refresh and gotten the whole new soul after. So what ever I've read on used for my research before i left was now being analysed fully.

And here i came to know, they are not many differences from our place here in KL. The taxi refuse to take us to some places, ignore us during peak period and shift changing time. They also break the rules, dont use pedestrian bridge to cross the road, still hanging clothes over the balcony. What different does that makes lol. We are human afterall, i mumble while smiling.

And the people who were in Orchard Road and all over the place makes me feels like vomiting. Only that, this time i manage to control my adrenaline system and not to make a scene and stroll along.

I had a chance to take picture and watch from far the full rehearsal of Singapore Merdeka day. Walking almost all the time and sit down when tired, watch people, assuming, mumbling, correlating and so on. All and all it was good. I had so much fun each day with different group. I had so much of memorable experience from Mediterenean food, habits and i got a chance to try Shisha once in my life time. And that was hell out of good experience to be in a place full of Ang Mo (Kwai Low) according to them. I love to observe them on how they inhale it, let the smoke lingers around shile sipping the wine, coke, brandy and so forth. Nothing so extreme to compare those here in Malaysia especially when seing our own people in that kind of place or when they are high. They are still tolerable, talking, laughing in manners. Nothing goes out of control. From lepakking in the street to private places and then back to room and continue the stories and by the time they are gone im already in cloud nine.

Thanks to Yati and Eza who brought me to nice place to eat to and share my walking ghost city story. It was never been so fun with Eza cracking fun story which remind me of R son. And I cant wait for them to pay me a visit next when they are around. And for Amoi who loves eating very much, I cant help myself repeating the WC all the time due to the hot stuff I ate on the last day we were there. Too hot to bear, lol.

I thank all of them to share and bring me all the joy and laughs as well as share my precious 39th birthday.

As i open the door of my house I was greet with love and hugs from my children and the birthday present makes me happier than I was. I was filled with love, affection and tenderness by all. I got a hug from mum for a very first time with a wish. That brings slight of tears but surprisingly does not rip me burst to tears like usual. I can feel her love now grows better that it was. All the sweet anticipation after a long patience has already makes me fulfilled with all that i want in life.

Thank god for all that he gave....

Thank you for all of you who had made this trip so enjoyable and fun altho the night safari, the bird park, the island was not visited like it's plan but making sure the next visit will emerged soon after this. It will again

Truth Unfolds

It was a very memorable birthday trip and present i had this year. Beside a chain from my elder daughter 1 bangle from shira and another one from twin. I got Esprit watch from him and a pair of shoe.

Thank you i have more in my mind than in words here.

Warna Warni - The Next Episode

Category: Blogging

Phew...

It has been long since the last blog written. The drive and the passion are still there but i hardly find time to breathe in to slot in a time to write and let thing pour out here.

Finally after a long journey and the haul on the bumpy and jumpy road im now able to breathe in and out peacefully. Smiling letting the things go and flow naturally.

"Best man wins" my final word. The journey that I took have taken me to where I am now. Try harder and this time make sure you dont fail and hopefully i dont stumble but heheheheh the barrier is tougher and harder i guess. Why because i have found the passion in myself and surroundings. That all those around had make me better, tougher, calmer and peaceful.

On contrary side of yesterday. It sucks but i learn a lot of sweet things today. Hence, thanks to the tough people around who understand and able to hold my hand, who share the smile, who share the tears. I owe them, whoever they are.

Him, who has to struggle still to prove, take your time laaa. As i am going to enjoy my life on the 5th year track of being obnoxious, bubbly, happy the way i am with lots of sensibility. Of all the things happening I appreciate the friendship more than any relationship.

And the kids are better than yesterday. Understanding more of the needs of me being in the office to bring the bread home. But weekend are all theirs along with their commands and needs to be at home, parks, cinema, flying kites, picnics with home cooked meal. The time spent are precious than what i have been with individuals or company.

As of today there has been a few who tried to irritate me more and more but in the end had to back off. Are you pissed??? So do I, but I dont give up. Why because anticipation is sweet.

Yes, now i can confirmed that looks can be deceiving. A picture has invited many people and make many frusturated due to rejection. It was just a feel to expose who I am but again I think it was enough just to be behind a shadow of a farmgirl.

Using that nick for more or less seven years has bring a character, attitude, charm, warmth and personality of who am I. Often taken wild, raunchy but in all to me im like a crunchy, juicy apple who can be sour and sweet when you have tasted it. Or the red strawberry in ice cube. Inviting and melting. Maybe im too much imagining of those nice things naturally. But thats what i want, want i need, hope to be in all again able to provide sensibility and offer a hand of friendship just to anyone who understand.





A written invitation to be internet photomodel shocked me. I cant find the reason why to it but no thanks. Pictures of me can only be taken only me. How i took this picture? Thanks to my L6 Motorola and Nokia to fine tune with my moods and emotions. Crabs yeah always have 1001 mood swings but i know those who tackle me wisely always win the card of bringing my smile and good angle. Passionate and loving thats what they should have.


Tebrau, Im coming to visit you soon on my last birthday of being a mature adults, female, lady and mother.

Woman, Mother, Lady, Lover

From a friend email

A woman is often measured by the things she can't control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat, or round or straight. She is measured by 36 - 24- 36 & inches & ages & nos, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is in the inside.

And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. And statistics LIE!

Achievement

Achievement Lama tak bercakap tentang diri....terasa rindu pula untuk menulis...

On my children side that something I love to pen down.

Shira has been released from her sport camp 2 weeks ago. Achieving one gold medal for 4x100 and bronze for 4x200 representing for WP in MSSM held from 9 -12th May. In conjunction with her birthday that was the biggest prize for her beside being 3 years in a row holding best athletes title in S.R.J.KC. Lai Meng.

And the biggest even will be end of this month for her third time Khatam Quran. There will be a small ceromony held to celebrate the event. She and her older sister will be having the same occassion on 2nd June and hopefully the twins will follow by end of this year. God willing.

My father in law passed away last Saturday at 5.45pm pm leaving 7 childrens, 26 grand childrens and 6 great grand childrens. His extensive big families really brings the joy in his life and throughout his journey on board. He was left alone by dear wife 10 years ago keeping himself surviving and having the fond memories of her in his chest and mind.
The last I saw him was about a month ago before I left to Bandung. I was lucky to have met him and still remember who am I when I last visited him. Semuga rohnya dirahmati dan ditempatkan disisi mereka yang beriman dan taqwa. Amin.

On the otherside this morning upon entering his car, his eyes lingered from top to toe, touching my skirt, gazing and looking again and again. Complimenting the attire I'm wearing today. That was not just that. The strange acting was from yesterday when I asked him many time what is it in his mind. Running away from questions was his specialities and jumping to next topics one to another. Out of sudden while driving he hugged me and that was really a surprise. And there after he sealed his mouth not talking anymore till I tickled him with killer questions. Today I think that I can summed up some of the stories into line after his court case. That will jeorpadise his time, his planning and next vision. The only thing he says before putting down the phone just now "please pray for me". God hears you and everyone.

So have faith....

Eternity

Priority is always yourself. Dont put anyone first except HIM the one who thinks of you all the time. Waiting for you to praise HIM, seek solace in HIM, find peace in HIM.















Never explain, who ever can understand you will take you as it is














"Dont deny your own needs and wants.
The only one who able to love and understand what you want is ONLY YOU"



















"You choose to decide the best for you, be it yesterday, now or tomorrow.
Best choice leading the wiser you"


















"We often make wrong judgement over people we love.
Let them love you more than you love them"












"Emotions leads to failure"



















"Time wait for no one, enjoy life as it is, be thankful because what ever you've tasted makes you eager to have more"

Ibu

ketika ibu saya berkunjung, ibu mengajak saya
untuk shopping bersamanya kerana dia
menginginkan sepasang kurung yg baru. Saya
sebenarnya tidak suka pergi membeli belah
bersama dengan orang lain, dan saya bukanlah
orang yang sabar, tetapi walaupun demikian
kami pergi juga ke pusat membeli belah tersebut.

Kami mengunjungi setiap butik yang
menyediakan pakaian wanita, dan ibu saya
mencuba sehelai demi sehelai pakaian dan
mengembalikan semuanya. Seiring hari yang
berlalu, saya mulai penat dan kelihatan jelas
riak2 kecewa di wajah ibu.

Akhirnya pada butik terakhir yang kami
kunjungi,
ibu saya mencuba satu baju kurung yang
cantik .
Dan kerana ketidaksabaran saya, maka untuk
kali ini saya ikut masuk dan berdiri bersama ibu
saya dalam fitting room, saya melihat bagaimana ibu
mencuba pakaian tersebut, dan dengan susah
mencuba untuk mengenakannya. Ternyata
tangan-tangannya sudah mulai dilumpuhkan oleh
penyakit radang sendi dan sebab itu dia tidak dapat
melakukannya, seketika ketidaksabaran saya
digantikan oleh suatu rasa kasihan yang dalam
kepadanya. Saya berbalik pergi dan cuba
menyembunyikan air mata yang keluar tanpa
saya sedari. Setelah saya mendapatkan ketenangan
lagi, saya kembali masuk ke fitting room untuk
membantu ibu mengenakan pakaiannya.

Pakaian ini begitu indah, dan ibu membelinya.
Shopping kami telah berakhir, tetapi kejadian
tersebut terukir dan tidak dapat dilupakan dari
ingatan . Sepanjang sisa hari itu, fikiran saya
tetap saja kembali pada saat berada di dalam
fitting room tersebut dan terbayang tangan ibu
saya yang sedang berusaha mengenakan
pakaiannya. Kedua tangan yang penuh dengan
kasih, yang pernah menyuapi, memandikan
saya, memakaikan baju, membelai dan memeluk
saya, dan terlebih dari semuanya, berdoa untuk saya,
sekarang tangan itu telah menyentuh hati saya
dengan cara yang paling berbekas dalam hati
saya. Kemudian pada malam harinya saya
pergi ke kamar ibu saya mengambil tangannya,
lantas menciumnya ... dan yang membuatnya terkejut,
saya memberitahunya bahwa bagi saya kedua
tangan tersebut adalah tangan yang paling
indah di dunia ini. Saya sangat bersyukur bahwa
Tuhan telah membuat saya dapat melihat dengan
sejelasnya, betapa bernilai dan berrharganya
kasih sayang yang penuh pengorbanan dari
seorang ibu.

Saya hanya dapat berdoa bahwa suatu hari
kelak tangan saya dan hati saya akan memiliki
keindahannya tersendiri. Dunia ini memiliki
banyak keajaiban, segala ciptaan Tuhan yang
begitu agung, tetapi tak satu pun yang dapat
menandingi keindahan tangan Ibu...

Lelaki & Wanita

Ternyata sangat sukar menjadi wanita istimewa dimataNYA dan dimata insan biasa. Tiada yang lebih baik dari menjadi makhluk ciptaannya.

Wanita diletakkan ditahap paling tinggi darjatnya disisi allah selain malaikat dan para nabi. Dan wanita juga dikurniakan dengan 1 akal dan 9 nafsu serta sifat kesabaran yang paling tinggi.

Taraf yang diletakkannya itu tidak dapat dinilai oleh sesiapa saja dibumi ini. Setiap saat didatangkan dugaan dan cabaran untuk menguji keimanan dan taqwa.

Sangat mudah tersungkur namun ada juga yang sangat cekal menghadapi apa jua rintangan.

Yang menjadikan wanita itu berbeza dari lelaki adalah sifat dan sikap jua keimanan dan ketabahan yang tak mungkin dipunyai oleh semua individu. Ianya tertakluk hanya kepada seseorang.

Cantiknya ia bukan pada paras rupa juga pada bentuknya. Ia terletak pada hati, jiwa dan rohani yang bersih dan jasmani yang sihat.

Amat sukar mencari wanita yang mengenali dirinya sendiri, mengetahui apa yang dimahukannya dan juga inginnya untuk hari yang mendatang.

Kebanyakkannya terbuai oleh arus kehidupan. Kesukaran membuatkan mereka belajar ataupun membutakan mata untuk mengikuti jalan yang seharusnya.

Wanita sekarang sangat lantang berbicara, mengendalikan haq dan juga bijak membuat pemilihan tentang hidup. Ramai yang hilang arah bilamana berada diatas.

Pada mereka yang tahu asal kejadian akan berpaling kebawah walaupun berada ditahap kerjaya mereka yang teratas tetapi dipangkuan lelaki atau suami mereka adalah pasangan yang seharusnya akur kepada kehendak kejadian bahawa mereka perlu menghormati, mengakui dan bisa dilentur bahawa mereka adalah sebahagian dari tulang rusuk seorang lelaki.

Jika terlalu keras pengendaliannya iakan patah, jika terlalu lembut iakan hancur, jika dibiarkan iakan hanyut.

Fenomena yang melanda milenium/ zaman sekarang adalah wanita yang sentiasa memperjuangkan haq sendiri yang sentiasa meletakkan kehendak dan kemampuan mereka sebagai keinginan yang perlu dipenuhi oleh lelaki pada apa jua keadaan tanpa mempertimbangkan situasi dan asal kehidupan.

Ada yang benar tapi ramai yang tersasar kerana lupa bila berada diatas puncak kejayaan yang diraih. Bukankah mereka harus berpaling kebelalakang siapakah yang menyokong atau punca mereka melakukan dan meraih itu semua.

Sesungguhnya aku jua adalah insan yang terkhilaf. Maka dengan itu nukilan dan jua luahan hati ini tersingkap. Dialah yang menjadi penyokong, penyandar walaupun pada kadar waktu ia lupa tanggungjawabnya adalah untuk berada diatas sana untuk dia merona warna kehidupanku.

Namun DIA telah membuka mataku, mindaku juga rohaniku untuk kembali kepada asalku. Mengerti apa erti kejadian seorang lelaki dan wanita. Dimana letaknya ia, kearah mana tujuan ia dan apa yang pasti untuk seorang yang bernama WANITA.

Aku hanya diutus untuk menjalankan tugas sebagai hambanya berada sangat hampir kepada hatinya, sangat dekat pada jantungnya dan menyokong hembusan nafasnya hingga kesaat akhir.

Jika ia datang lagi, haruslah aku menerima seadanya kerana adanya aku adalah untuk meneruskan perjalanan seorang insan yang bernama LELAKI.

Wassalam wb.

If this is me...

Mostly people that I know or even admirers, stalkers usually look for me for the appeal that I have. They always associates me with sex, imagination, wild fantasies and ideas.

Raunchy, wild, agressive, are so opposite of me. Farmgirl always associated with that tag on. How does that comes to mind, im not sure.

All those are an immediate turn off to befriend with them. To me they are not sincere. They are there for me for a mission.

Sometime i wonder whats wrong with the way i dressed up. I know somehow i have all the features that all woman wants. Not that i dont like it but sometime i thinks its too bold on me where it fall perfectly in place . I thank HIM for all that i have.

For the personality i have, I dont have to wait for long to make friends. Pushing away my shyness once upon a time developed in me and transformed myself into a whole new person. One question will lead to another and a smile will turn to laughter. Was that wrong?.

Insecure? I do feel it sometimes. For it will make me feel i will be in trouble at anytime. But then it has helps me a lot by changing to be a friendly person and getting helps and also associates immediately and fast. I have many acquiantance, friends, family become closer and it warmth the situation all the time.

It doesnt fit to many people around. Especially on women itself. I care less about the details talks about people. I hate places which is so doomed and gloomy, slow, hazy and etc. I like fast, bubbly, colourful and wonderful.

Was I wrong in changing to be a whole new person with an image and personality liked by mostly male encounters only?


*sigh.......*
5.23pm

Private Dance

19 March 2007

The rythm, the melody swayz herbody left and right. Following the tempo and music to her ease. The mixture of the instruments blends in her magical move. Enticing her from within making the move flowing like a wind.
It has to blend in together with her emotions, her feel, her right situation and her timing. Well developed into her lyrics and blasted outright to everyone surrounding her. Its either they just look, they claps together or even hold on to her waist to fit in the rythm together.
The tempo which fails to trail every inch of her slender body will slowly left giving more rooms to whom can take her hand in the new melody. Fast, slow, tango, salsa, mambo, limbo, rock, soul, jazzy anything that catch her glittering eyes and her soul and crack a smile on her lips.

3.07pm

Button

Hit the Button

Ikhlas

Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Blogging

18 Jan 2007
6.07pm

Definisi berbeza-beza dari setiap orang. Cara perlakuan, penerimaan dan penyampaian tidak sama. Dihati nawaitu ada tapi apabila dilaksanakan ia kadangkala tidak sampai ketahap yang dikatakan ikhlas.

Apakah ikhlas itu? Dimanakah terletaknya keikhlasan? Bagaimanakah caranya ikhlas itu dilaksanakan? Tidak dinafikan ianya sukar untuk ditentukan dan bagaimana ia dinilaikan.

Mendalami ilmu ikhlas bermakna mencabar kewibawaan diri, iman, taqwa dan minda. Namun jika benar ia datang dari hati yang luhur ianya pasti dilaksanakan. Dan hanya DIA yang dapat mentafsirkan keikhlasan sesuatu perbuatan, niat ataupun keinginan.

Bagaimana mencabar diri dengan ikhlas? Seperti menghulur tangan kanan dan menyorok tangan kiri. Memberi tetapi tak mengaku ianya dari kamu. Sukar untuk dipercayai masih ada insan yang melakukan ini semua tetapi sewajarnya kita tak tahu kerana hanya yang benar-benar ikhlas tidak akan menampakkan diri maupun menyebut apa yang dilakukan, diperbuat hanya untuk mendapatkan keredhaan.

Jelas dimata apa yang terpampang dikehidupan sekarang ini, keikhlasan semakin pupus. Mungkin dari cara penulisan ini anda juga bisa menilai. Tetapi bagiku dari sinilah aku belajar sambil mengingatkan diri kembali dari apa yang sepatutnya kulakukan.

Yang baik dari dia, yang buruk dari kita.
Nawaitu adalah milik kita, penghakiman adalah miliknya.
Wallahuallambissawab....

Boundaries in Relationship

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Current mood: awake Released: 090107 Mood: fine I.'ve been meaning to write about serious topics since i come back to work but nothing come to place and mind go bonkers when there is so many things comes popping. Early in the morning I was startled by a caller in myspace list who doesn't really knows my name and called for farm. Fine, it was me who picks up but it was not fine when I am given such surprise and was not give a respect in terms of setting or starting a frienship. Yes i called him from the office not wanting to give him my handphone number, and the purpose of calling just wanting to say hi and obliged to his invitation of being a friend. Connection or rather networking I should say and that makes me dialling his number. Upon that he called me hoping that I will give my number and my name to continue or prolong the relations. A set of boundaries was created in mylife to look after my interest in any circumstances. Be it in relationship, frenship, networking or rather personal wise. Why? Knowing what I want, where am heading, what to expect and so on makes me not to reveal some info at the very early stage of relation. Yeah the opening is there but time is always the measure of my relationship with anyone. Why because I dont want to cross a border of my own needs and want. Some people dont agree with me but I couldn't agree to what I dont want and not relevant to me. Too bad if they cant wait they have to move on. Back to him, in order knowing a person I do a background check nowadays. No longer touching the acceptance button immediately. I want to know more where would I be, when I let it happen and where its leading. I restricted everything now only on friendship not more nor less. Im in a third stage of rebuilding my life and I dont want to ruin everything that I've done almost 5 years ago. Tough and hard as steel I am now although mellowing with some emotions but sticking to the principal would do good to me insyaallah. I just need one thing this year as new year resolution. I want to be able to have trust and confidence in man again should I can and I should be able to convince myself. Otherwise the stability will make me comfortable of the status, position and be blessed of what I have now for me and my kids. It is all shown clearly by end of 2006. The action and reaction of what I have left 5 years ago with him which is not working and not convincing enough to make me able to respect and adore him still as a man who live with me for 10 years building a life as family. The answer is no no to him, I can be friend but to be back ermmmm..... Love which left as quote only can't build strong relation and now stagnant according to current situation. KIV, Naz said! No, it was not strong encouragement for me. Enforcement and working on the situation will do better for me to convinced that you are worth to be walking the path together but then again its in HIS hand. Im thankfull for that. Blessed that I can see it earlier before I go further indepths in my emotions. I shall leave till the right moment comes. No it never kills my love for him. It still grow but I cant live with love only. D has been consistently showing and proving despite of the rollercoaster life tantrum spells but he is still standing strong beside me, holding my hand but that I dont know for how long. Best man wins and I guess I have the answer as for now. Nope, its never enough and its hard pleasing me of all Ive gone through. I know its hard for em' to pace with my tune. Its all in their hand to prove my hypothesis is wrong and my analysis has to be revised. Im only human. The boundaries set within me to protect what I want and need. Im enjoying what I have now. To understand, to feel, to launch, to tickle, to linger, to crawl, to rant etc. It can go on and on and it will never end. But I love what I have, love whom loving me so much, admire some who has courage to set and go, salute who has courage to knock my door for an opening. All in all I am blessed to have you around me to set the colour of my life. Trying to put and play with the colours accordingly to suit current situation. Sipping sweetness of the taste being patience and passionate about whatever consequences I have to take. And perhaps or rather lastly to find the pair that suits the colours, situation and the bloody emotional me. I love you all. Farmie. 10.46am

Cinta

At last I am releasing myself to think, reflect, and be objective about this am letting the situation to lead now.

Cinta

Treasuring a statement, word,sentence or advice

Current mood: bouncy
Category: Friends

Released 11th Dec 06
Mood:

In action taken, theres always a risk
In every move we take, theres always a memory
Forward is never same as the past

If you are looking for the wandering ghost, it is lost in the soul
Keep searching!!!

When you are on the top, the ground usually and always at the bottom
Whatever you do, the results is always an experience and challenge that you can treasure...

Beside this piece written in someone page as a comments im thinking of a statement given by my fren this morning which bugging me till now. Anyway as I always thought everyone is free to say, judge or even making conclusion based on what they see but again its always held within of a person why certain decision or measure taken on each action.

I am still searching and also researching of some analysis and hyphotesis. God has reason why he send things his way for us to think, reflect and be objective on everything happen or done. The question should be ask within ourselves and not him because HE has got all the answers since we born but Us was the reason why we should think and rethink why ALL this happen to us.

Farmies work desk
11.45am
Have a nice day...

Treasuring a statement, word,sentence or advice

Current mood: bouncy
Category: Friends

Released 11th Dec 06
Mood:

In action taken, theres always a risk
In every move we take, theres always a memory
Forward is never same as the past

If you are looking for the wandering ghost, it is lost in the soul
Keep searching!!!

When you are on the top, the ground usually and always at the bottom
Whatever you do, the results is always an experience and challenge that you can treasure...

Beside this piece written in someone page as a comments im thinking of a statement given by my fren this morning which bugging me till now. Anyway as I always thought everyone is free to say, judge or even making conclusion based on what they see but again its always held within of a person why certain decision or measure taken on each action.

I am still searching and also researching of some analysis and hyphotesis. God has reason why he send things his way for us to think, reflect and be objective on everything happen or done. The question should be ask within ourselves and not him because HE has got all the answers since we born but Us was the reason why we should think and rethink why ALL this happen to us.

Farmies work desk
11.45am
Have a nice day...

Commitment

Current mood: chipper
Category: Blogging

Release:131106
Mood: Chirrpy

I need a peacefull mind and thoughts when it comes to life commitment. Its not an easy task to perform nor to understand what commitment is. I was asked many time for my commitment in partnering issue. Most of the time I ignore it because time has never arise and I always have doubts for that.

It worries me a lot shall I not able to deliver or theres so high expectation over me. I am just a normal human being who seem to make mistakes there and then. Even most of the time I avoid it but no I am not able to anymore.

There is a space in me needed attention to be addressed. I was avoiding my needs and want in terms of partnership because I think I won't be able to deliver and accept the hicups should there be again. I know it is wrong to think that way but I cant help it.

Things that happen infront of me are so clear and does not make me comfortable with it. My current situation soothe me in my comfy zone but people keep on came knocking and giving. Taking is one thing but to be asked to be considered and reasonably can fit into my space and zone within my kids, families and frens are rare. So I have to give it a thought.

One or twice trying to avoid it but it lingers round and round. With the constant pace and the way of showing it, I cant be denying and resisting it. I'm trying hard to pleased me and never let anyone do it.

But I guess its about time I want to be pleased. Sensing its coming and having it felt over me was the whole new experience whereby this time I dont have to do much. I show off my uneasiness, my anger, my temper, my jovial part, my moodiness and everything without having problems but to accept the pampering, the mannering and so forth. It tasted good but I always reminded myself. He is on heels over me now, wait till the feel is gone or wait till well... assumption, assumption, assumption he said...

Well if the assumption is going to make me thind million times before commiting, I love to do that then. First of all when I commit myself to consider and have that thought shared, it took few weeks for him to adapt it and come back to me with a statement "give me sometime to resolve this problems". Whereby beforehand I challenged him with so many questions and consequences and conquest him on certain situation which needs tough answers to be addressed.

"The answer is yes, easy and it can be tackled... so long you give me your commitment" he said...
All those said are bullshit!!! Testing me are you??? U'll end up freaking out.

After that I just take what comes. Testing me with so many surprise and he was surprised when whatever he presented was then turnaround by me. He manage it well. Infact he has his way. Somehow he pass some test and fail some but then again it is fair to say that he is trying to prove me that relationship is worth to think again.

As for now I will keep eyeing on certain things that I need to and make sure I have the precaution measure 'ON' everytime. Enjoying his company while I have R to refer and other friends to juggle with was a good experience. Meantime, he and me deserve a chance to try. And if it is not working, at least, I'd try and have the experience and fond memories of it to treasure for being his friend, lover and female companion.

Kisah si Tukang Kayu (A Mirror to Reflect)

Release:111106
Mood: Calm

Terpanggil untuk membaca junk email yang di cc oleh seorang teman dari negara jiran. Pendahuluan amat simple seperti tidak mahu meneruskan pembacaan. Seperti biasa aku melangkaui batas pemerhatian terus kepada isi tengah dan terus membaca.

Isinya amat ringkas tetapi semakin dibaca amat mengesankan. Satu cerita ringkas yang memberi imbasan keatas diri sendiri tentang tujuan kehidupan, arah/ erti dan pencarian dan juga noktah kehidupan.

Begini Ceritanya :

Seorang tukang kayu tua bermaksud pensiun dari pekerjaannya di sebuah perusahaan konstruksi real estate. Ia menyampaikan keinginannya tersebut pada
pemilik perusahaan.

Ia ingin beristirahat dan menikmati sisa hari tuanya dengan penuh Kedamaian bersama istri dan keluarganya. Pemilik perusahaan merasa sedih kehilangan salah seorang pekerja terbaiknya.

Ia lalu memohon pada tukang kayu tersebut untuk membuatkan sebuah rumah untuk dirinya. Tukang kayu mengangguk menyetujui permohonan pribadi pemilik perusahaan itu.

Tapi, sebenarnya ia merasa terpaksa. Ia ingin segera berhenti. Hatinya tidak sepenuhnya dicurahkan. Dengan ogah-ogahan ia mengerjakan proyek itu. Ia cuma menggunakan bahan-bahan sekedarnya. Akhirnya selesailah rumah yang diminta oleh tuannya.

Hasilnya bukanlah sebuah rumah baik. Sungguh sayang ia harus mengakhiri kariernya dengan prestasi yang tidak begitu mengagumkan.

Ketika pemilik perusahaan itu datang melihat rumah yang dimintanya, ia menyerahkan sebuah kunci rumah pada si tukang kayu. "Ini adalah rumahmu, " katanya, "hadiah dari kami." Betapa terkejutnya si tukang kayu. Betapa malu dan menyesalnya.

Seandainya saja ia mengetahui bahwa ia sesungguhnya mengerjakan rumah untuk dirinya sendiri, ia tentu akan mengerjakannya dengan cara yang lain sama sekali. Kini
ia harus tinggal di sebuah rumah yang tak terlalu bagus hasil karyanya sendiri.

Itulah yang terjadi pada kehidupan kita. Kadangkala, banyak dari kita yang membangun kehidupan dengan cara yang membingungkan dan kurang bertanggung
jawab.

Lebih memilih berusaha ala kadarnya ketimbang mengupayakan yang baik. Bahkan, pada bagian-bagian terpenting dalam hidup kita tidak memberikan yang terbaik.

Pada akhir perjalanan kita terkejut saat melihat apa yang telah kita lakukan dan menemukan diri kita hidup di dalam sebuah rumah yang kita ciptakan sendiri. Seandainya kita menyadarinya sejak semula kita akan menjalani hidup ini dengan cara yang jauh berbeda.

Renungkan bahwa kita adalah si tukang kayu. Renungkan 'rumah' yang sedang kita bangun.
Setiap hari kita memukul paku, memasang papan, mendirikan dinding dan atap.

Mari kita selesaikan 'rumah' kita dengan sebaik-baiknya seolah-olah hanya mengerjakannya sekali saja dalam seumur hidup.


Cheers,

Back in Peace

Released: 09 Nov 06
Mood: Calm

After a week break for Raya and a week off for company trip in Vietnam im back to office. My last Lucrin jab last 1st week November. Now my back ache and moods unstable. Eating habit not regular and consistent. Dad admitted yesterday and will be operated today. Have a chat with my brother yesterday with current situation after heated sms's two days in a row.

Ida broke a news of her visit to Mecca this year. Im glad she prompted me and reminded me of something that I always put on hold. Thank you dear friend. Sarah and Rozie called after so long break of not meeting each other while Lina keep on reminding me on Hari Raya gathering on Sunday. Planned to cook on Saturday nite but unfortunately not many people can turn up. Suddenly R shocked me with a question on her ex hb told her friend that Im getting married in December. I laughed and at the same time wondering who the hell of the story teller.

All in all Lebaran has just given me a new colours and beginning. The renewal was so good as I am enjoying every minute of it. Of course with some hicups but certainly the book of life change page each day.

Here are some picts that i can upload for all of you. All this beautifull pictures are treasured in my mind and soul as each corner in the world captured the beauty of the maker itself to make us fond of what we found along the way.