Trust & Faith...

Something to ponder my mind around... People and their attitude & behaviour are not the same... This to remind me always that every creature has their own beauty created by HIM...



Dear ______,

I am touched with ... ur... message, actually i feel down at the moment , to be frank its been a year now, but i am keeping my sadness within myself. I try to divert things away from my life and feelings. At times i blame my husband , at times i wish i never whats happening around. Cos i remember my friend told me, wht u dont know will not hurt u. But when u found out about certain things, it hurts like hell, cuts u and leave u bleeding. Heart broken into pieces.

U know i never really had a friend i can really call best friend , be it in real or at work place. I keep most things to myself, cos i dare not trust anyone.

Sometime along the way i found a few friends whom i liked , though they had their bad points , but hey thats what friends are for, accept their good and bad points, no one is perfect but one day, this person called a friend was hurting u and my family.

Had lots of problem in marriage till i hated to see my hubby, never felt that hate b4 so much, to the extend i wanted him out of the house. Shouts quarrel is a daily routine and he seem to drift far from me.

Until my hub consulted a guy who could see things what u call that , ermm kind of like dukun,, it seemed that,, we had been put in a spell. This person whom i thought was my friend , whom i confided in, for my problems was the one who did this to me. She wanted to see me suffer, jeolousy is the reason .

I couldnt take it, nor belive it, until i went to see the man himself. Until now i couldnt bare to see her face or be close to anyone. I stay away from ppl or relatives. I didnt talk to her ever since, i couldnt !! I tried to be nice to her again but my heart couldnt bare to be hurt again and pretend nothing happened.

No body knows why i avoided her. Why i am not talking to her even though i am in the same room as her. Each time i see her, my heart hurts again. She has taken away my peace. I dont blame her but myself. i told myself that i would never trust any one ever again.

I know i need to regain back my feelings , my honour, my peace and my strength, i wont let her take away all that . What ever spell she wants to put on me, god is there to guide me and i can be strong.

I keep reminding myself so thats why i am online reading blogs , taking examples, collecting courage from readers , thinking if they can make it,, i can too.


Thank you _____, for offering ....ur.... time for me . A _______whom u dont really know. Some how i am telling u this , cos i need to get things out of my chest. Time will heal the hurt , the pain, but it will never be forgotten for the wound will leave a scar.

Treasuring a statement, word,sentence or advice

Current mood: bouncy
Category: Friends

Released 11th Dec 06
Mood:

In action taken, theres always a risk
In every move we take, theres always a memory
Forward is never same as the past

If you are looking for the wandering ghost, it is lost in the soul
Keep searching!!!

When you are on the top, the ground usually and always at the bottom
Whatever you do, the results is always an experience and challenge that you can treasure...

Beside this piece written in someone page as a comments im thinking of a statement given by my fren this morning which bugging me till now. Anyway as I always thought everyone is free to say, judge or even making conclusion based on what they see but again its always held within of a person why certain decision or measure taken on each action.

I am still searching and also researching of some analysis and hyphotesis. God has reason why he send things his way for us to think, reflect and be objective on everything happen or done. The question should be ask within ourselves and not him because HE has got all the answers since we born but Us was the reason why we should think and rethink why ALL this happen to us.

Farmies work desk
11.45am
Have a nice day...