Flashback

Things happen in due course and its depend sometimes on why its happen. I have so many thing due as if i dont have time to settle all of it. Keeping myself calm all the time and making sure i deal with it one at the time so i would be jumpy and cranky as usual.

But now i am trying hard to manage my emotion with more zikir more rational caps on. So i wont be the usual me anymore.

Yes im in the process of changing lane. Big change i hope. Hopefully one day i am able to put everything up in piece n be a new me. Leaving all behind me, only capturing the good, the best and natural along with the new ME..

I will still be the colourful ME, the adventurous ME, the giglish ME, the truthful and honest ME (this trait u need to nail her perfectly or else she will just be the ME ;))

Insyaallah...

Im Back

hehehehe....
Ramai yang tercari2 blog ini rupanya. Sebab aku bercuti, sebab aku berfikir, sebab aku suka tukar ini tukar itu hingga aku lupa apa dia yang aku tukar walaupun aku boleh akses tetapi orang kat luar tu tak leh maka aku check dan dengan pertolongan kawan yang tau IT dia mengindentifykan...

patutlah setting tak telly. Part IT ni aku memang mengong sikit tapi tak pe laaa setakat untuk pakai sendiri buleh laaa.

nah untuk mereka yang tercari blog ni nah amiklaaa. untuk mereka yang masih mencari jawapan tanyalah diri sebelum soalan ditanya dan dipersoalkan.

the real answer is within me and dia mengikut situasi dan juga tempat dan saat ia terjadi. tiada kene mengena dengan dulu atau sekarang. ia tetap berada dikotak memori dan telah dipateri.

yang terasa, merasa dan alpa aku, kau dan dia adalah insan biasa.
semuga aku dirahmati sentiasa.
amin

Trust & Faith...

Something to ponder my mind around... People and their attitude & behaviour are not the same... This to remind me always that every creature has their own beauty created by HIM...



Dear ______,

I am touched with ... ur... message, actually i feel down at the moment , to be frank its been a year now, but i am keeping my sadness within myself. I try to divert things away from my life and feelings. At times i blame my husband , at times i wish i never whats happening around. Cos i remember my friend told me, wht u dont know will not hurt u. But when u found out about certain things, it hurts like hell, cuts u and leave u bleeding. Heart broken into pieces.

U know i never really had a friend i can really call best friend , be it in real or at work place. I keep most things to myself, cos i dare not trust anyone.

Sometime along the way i found a few friends whom i liked , though they had their bad points , but hey thats what friends are for, accept their good and bad points, no one is perfect but one day, this person called a friend was hurting u and my family.

Had lots of problem in marriage till i hated to see my hubby, never felt that hate b4 so much, to the extend i wanted him out of the house. Shouts quarrel is a daily routine and he seem to drift far from me.

Until my hub consulted a guy who could see things what u call that , ermm kind of like dukun,, it seemed that,, we had been put in a spell. This person whom i thought was my friend , whom i confided in, for my problems was the one who did this to me. She wanted to see me suffer, jeolousy is the reason .

I couldnt take it, nor belive it, until i went to see the man himself. Until now i couldnt bare to see her face or be close to anyone. I stay away from ppl or relatives. I didnt talk to her ever since, i couldnt !! I tried to be nice to her again but my heart couldnt bare to be hurt again and pretend nothing happened.

No body knows why i avoided her. Why i am not talking to her even though i am in the same room as her. Each time i see her, my heart hurts again. She has taken away my peace. I dont blame her but myself. i told myself that i would never trust any one ever again.

I know i need to regain back my feelings , my honour, my peace and my strength, i wont let her take away all that . What ever spell she wants to put on me, god is there to guide me and i can be strong.

I keep reminding myself so thats why i am online reading blogs , taking examples, collecting courage from readers , thinking if they can make it,, i can too.


Thank you _____, for offering ....ur.... time for me . A _______whom u dont really know. Some how i am telling u this , cos i need to get things out of my chest. Time will heal the hurt , the pain, but it will never be forgotten for the wound will leave a scar.

Best and Memorable Holiday

Current mood: cheerful

I cant describe the feelings, the emotions when I step out from my house last Friday. On that very moment everything start with a good point and the laugh starts. Not because whom, but it was because im going to meet the people who had make my 39th birthday so wonderful and meaningful.

The minute we reach Puduraya I was told the bus had left on time!!! What the %^$&&&. It used to delayed on the last trip i had. But that doesnt make my mood turn sour nor turn off. Im still alive and get straight to the next bus and jump in. 4 hours later i reached Larkin and had jumped into a coach which is heading back to KL. I was lucky to have a good navigator n my mind raced back when they said it takes another 4 hours to reach the destination???

Shit!!!! Jumped down the bus n took transit and we are on the way to Woodlands. Phewww. 5 bus, if im not mistaken we had change buses 5 times that day. But it still give me good and lively mood plus laugh all the way to my hotel.

I have a great change of vision into this new area which is in the east of the lion city. Its full of Malays, the familiar faces i can say. Exhausted and taken a bath to refresh and gotten the whole new soul after. So what ever I've read on used for my research before i left was now being analysed fully.

And here i came to know, they are not many differences from our place here in KL. The taxi refuse to take us to some places, ignore us during peak period and shift changing time. They also break the rules, dont use pedestrian bridge to cross the road, still hanging clothes over the balcony. What different does that makes lol. We are human afterall, i mumble while smiling.

And the people who were in Orchard Road and all over the place makes me feels like vomiting. Only that, this time i manage to control my adrenaline system and not to make a scene and stroll along.

I had a chance to take picture and watch from far the full rehearsal of Singapore Merdeka day. Walking almost all the time and sit down when tired, watch people, assuming, mumbling, correlating and so on. All and all it was good. I had so much fun each day with different group. I had so much of memorable experience from Mediterenean food, habits and i got a chance to try Shisha once in my life time. And that was hell out of good experience to be in a place full of Ang Mo (Kwai Low) according to them. I love to observe them on how they inhale it, let the smoke lingers around shile sipping the wine, coke, brandy and so forth. Nothing so extreme to compare those here in Malaysia especially when seing our own people in that kind of place or when they are high. They are still tolerable, talking, laughing in manners. Nothing goes out of control. From lepakking in the street to private places and then back to room and continue the stories and by the time they are gone im already in cloud nine.

Thanks to Yati and Eza who brought me to nice place to eat to and share my walking ghost city story. It was never been so fun with Eza cracking fun story which remind me of R son. And I cant wait for them to pay me a visit next when they are around. And for Amoi who loves eating very much, I cant help myself repeating the WC all the time due to the hot stuff I ate on the last day we were there. Too hot to bear, lol.

I thank all of them to share and bring me all the joy and laughs as well as share my precious 39th birthday.

As i open the door of my house I was greet with love and hugs from my children and the birthday present makes me happier than I was. I was filled with love, affection and tenderness by all. I got a hug from mum for a very first time with a wish. That brings slight of tears but surprisingly does not rip me burst to tears like usual. I can feel her love now grows better that it was. All the sweet anticipation after a long patience has already makes me fulfilled with all that i want in life.

Thank god for all that he gave....

Thank you for all of you who had made this trip so enjoyable and fun altho the night safari, the bird park, the island was not visited like it's plan but making sure the next visit will emerged soon after this. It will again

Truth Unfolds

It was a very memorable birthday trip and present i had this year. Beside a chain from my elder daughter 1 bangle from shira and another one from twin. I got Esprit watch from him and a pair of shoe.

Thank you i have more in my mind than in words here.