Pengertian

The call received on Wednesday afternoon was a shocked but since he was the one to tell me the news when he is better.

But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.

I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.

When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.

I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.

Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.

Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.

Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.

With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.

With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.

With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.

To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"