Who, where, when, why, what?
The 5 W's i apply in daily lives make me beautiful. And they here make my day beautifullest!!!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Beauties in Me, Myself and I
Who, where, when, why, what?
The 5 W's i apply in daily lives make me beautiful. And they here make my day beautifullest!!!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Pleasure Seeker
There are so many individuals that I came across through real life, virtual life who has this characteristic. I have been thinking about it a lot since I was being single again.
Between the pro and cons, it gives a lot of benefits to seekers of course depending on what they want in life.
I have all the male and female version of this value added purpose. 90% of male gender here would rather have a relationship which can give them a return in whichever way and 70% or rather 80% of the female version too would prefer something out of it.
The rest would remain in the status quo of what they want through net friends. It depends on what are the mission, aim and goals from each and everyone.
Even in reality i've found people would have their set of friendship on certain basis. They are happy to lead their life and way they are. Although some people like me would not be happy of doing those as if that using a friend for a certain issue.
Around me for e.g their are certain friends who love to just go for breakfast, shop around, travel, hangouts, movie, or be around at all time (this one i cant stand it at all but sometime it serve a purpose for a reason she/ he creates)
Yes, certain time i am one of this pleasure seeker. Coffee time partner is my favourite. It fills my boredoom sometime and they can share any topic.
But particularly im always seeking for someone who dont want to have a permanent relation, whom can come as a mirror image or some one whom i can seek for some advice, personal ideas/ views on certain things in life.
The rest remain private in me.
Between the pro and cons, it gives a lot of benefits to seekers of course depending on what they want in life.
I have all the male and female version of this value added purpose. 90% of male gender here would rather have a relationship which can give them a return in whichever way and 70% or rather 80% of the female version too would prefer something out of it.
The rest would remain in the status quo of what they want through net friends. It depends on what are the mission, aim and goals from each and everyone.
Even in reality i've found people would have their set of friendship on certain basis. They are happy to lead their life and way they are. Although some people like me would not be happy of doing those as if that using a friend for a certain issue.
Around me for e.g their are certain friends who love to just go for breakfast, shop around, travel, hangouts, movie, or be around at all time (this one i cant stand it at all but sometime it serve a purpose for a reason she/ he creates)
Yes, certain time i am one of this pleasure seeker. Coffee time partner is my favourite. It fills my boredoom sometime and they can share any topic.
But particularly im always seeking for someone who dont want to have a permanent relation, whom can come as a mirror image or some one whom i can seek for some advice, personal ideas/ views on certain things in life.
The rest remain private in me.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Money Can Buy Happiness
She called me early morning grumbling of the old man are late to the airport. All the words came from her mouth. She was angry absolutely. She was a PA, so she was well organised with timing and plan. He is a businessman, who grab things pronto or there and there basis. So two different people with two different mind as i observed over the few months of their relationship.
While mouth says something but the action says another. Obviously money can buy attention, grabbing diversifying one minds out from current problems. I smile while watching all the episodes and hoping whatever im imagining next will never happen.
But unfortunately all those do happens without you wanting it sometimes. I pray hard, and hoping it will not go far to worst as i am sensing bigger and challenging problems will happen soon.
She is gallivanting her way, and he is just gripping the moment given while at the same time hoping opportunity will come his way. Dear god, help her please, put her back in her track.
Should i say it was wrong. It doesnt take her long to be in trouble and she want an easy escapade. "I just want to get out of this place for a while". And she took the offer from him to take her to Chieng Mai. An offer for a price that will be regreted later. I hope not.
Lets hear her out after her return. Will it totally give her permanent happiness or temporary peace of mind.
I rest my case. Yes, sometime women can be so fricle minded but im sure with self discipline it helps one individual a lot...Everything is just in your mind. Who you are, what you want to be, who you becoming and why are you being you.
I like to hear your idea... Do leave me a note!
While mouth says something but the action says another. Obviously money can buy attention, grabbing diversifying one minds out from current problems. I smile while watching all the episodes and hoping whatever im imagining next will never happen.
But unfortunately all those do happens without you wanting it sometimes. I pray hard, and hoping it will not go far to worst as i am sensing bigger and challenging problems will happen soon.
She is gallivanting her way, and he is just gripping the moment given while at the same time hoping opportunity will come his way. Dear god, help her please, put her back in her track.
Should i say it was wrong. It doesnt take her long to be in trouble and she want an easy escapade. "I just want to get out of this place for a while". And she took the offer from him to take her to Chieng Mai. An offer for a price that will be regreted later. I hope not.
Lets hear her out after her return. Will it totally give her permanent happiness or temporary peace of mind.
I rest my case. Yes, sometime women can be so fricle minded but im sure with self discipline it helps one individual a lot...Everything is just in your mind. Who you are, what you want to be, who you becoming and why are you being you.
I like to hear your idea... Do leave me a note!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Scents of a Woman
When i was away for my company trip to Kosamui 19th to 23rd October many things happen at home. I was blocking my mind n soul not to think of the domestic problems while i was away.
Successfully it works and once i step my foot to Subang and all the thinking cap are put back in place again.
Drainage system are bad it cause my kitchen flooded on the second day. Opps no, it was somebody who forgot to put off the tap that cause the whole kitchen flooded from bathroom flowing to the door.
It was partly because the drainage was poorly manage by the maintenance. So eversince its raining daily in Kuala Lumpur and some other places during those days it has cause flooded in few place. My uncle in TTJ Seremban also facing a small Tsunami at his housing areas. Waters climbed up to 2 feet and it has caused a lot to residents. Sigh...
I managed to clear the clooged drain and everything was back to normal. I even washed my front drainage area clearing everything in sight and later it smells good again with a help of clorox and breeze.
My twins room and back door lock cant open and nobody cant help me while im away. Apparently my second daughter manage to open the middle room but not the kitchen room. So they were depending only on the front door to go in and out.
I tried calling someone to mend it and promise to come the next day but till the weekend no one is seen to be able to help. I went to the hardware shop and get a lock n ask the people on how to fix it.
This is how it was done. It was my first attempt doing this and testing my ability to be independent on almost everything in my life. Changing the bulbs, become a plumber, fixing DIY name it. Insyaallah i will try till i am successful
And its done finally!!!
I am proud and i am happy that i am able to solve all the problems in no time.
Thats what i called "Scent of a Woman". She fulfilled every desire of men wants, she fulfilled the needs in a friend, she fulfilled a criteria of a mother, daugther, bitch and she can do what man can too.
God give me the strengths and the power of mind to think, to be able to put things in place even its hard but capability and trust make me the owner of myself with his guidance.
Now with or without a man, I can live...
I know i hurt myself by saying this but what when you have someone but u cant depends on him for certain things. When we are alone, we are able to think, to handle and to beat the situation, the problem with a courage.
Thank you god. Amin
Successfully it works and once i step my foot to Subang and all the thinking cap are put back in place again.
Drainage system are bad it cause my kitchen flooded on the second day. Opps no, it was somebody who forgot to put off the tap that cause the whole kitchen flooded from bathroom flowing to the door.
It was partly because the drainage was poorly manage by the maintenance. So eversince its raining daily in Kuala Lumpur and some other places during those days it has cause flooded in few place. My uncle in TTJ Seremban also facing a small Tsunami at his housing areas. Waters climbed up to 2 feet and it has caused a lot to residents. Sigh...
I managed to clear the clooged drain and everything was back to normal. I even washed my front drainage area clearing everything in sight and later it smells good again with a help of clorox and breeze.
My twins room and back door lock cant open and nobody cant help me while im away. Apparently my second daughter manage to open the middle room but not the kitchen room. So they were depending only on the front door to go in and out.
I tried calling someone to mend it and promise to come the next day but till the weekend no one is seen to be able to help. I went to the hardware shop and get a lock n ask the people on how to fix it.
This is how it was done. It was my first attempt doing this and testing my ability to be independent on almost everything in my life. Changing the bulbs, become a plumber, fixing DIY name it. Insyaallah i will try till i am successful
And its done finally!!!
I am proud and i am happy that i am able to solve all the problems in no time.
Thats what i called "Scent of a Woman". She fulfilled every desire of men wants, she fulfilled the needs in a friend, she fulfilled a criteria of a mother, daugther, bitch and she can do what man can too.
God give me the strengths and the power of mind to think, to be able to put things in place even its hard but capability and trust make me the owner of myself with his guidance.
Now with or without a man, I can live...
I know i hurt myself by saying this but what when you have someone but u cant depends on him for certain things. When we are alone, we are able to think, to handle and to beat the situation, the problem with a courage.
Thank you god. Amin
Have you watched them sleep
This one really touch me early morning reading it.
I was awaken by him calling me this morning at 4am when I heard him calling me for help. He cant breathe he said.
“My head is painful, can you get me a panadol”. Can you make me a milo and balsam to rub my chest?
I nodded making my way to the kitchen to make hot Milo and grab the Balsem and rub it on to his chest.
How I could feel its only skin and bones now instead of a decade ago was a very strong handsome man who always tried to get whatever we want.
He is my dad who now just lying in the room due his diabetic problem.
Thank you for always reminding around us for what we are and whom we should be.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
KO SA MUI
Here i am, typing from one of the internet cafe to kill my boredoom over this so called hotel KANDABURI RESORT AND SPA.
The hotel room was fabulous big, spacious and authentic. For honeymooners it will be nice and cozy. The bathroom was so huge divided into three section. Bathtub corner, wc, and showering all in different corner and big mirror in the middle. Its so beautiful but its in the opposite of the road not just overlooking the ocean. Frustrating enough..... Food not so satisfying as my boss claimed!! My day was filled with just relaxing and nothing more than that.
Shopping??? Nothing to shop about. This place is more of paradise to men and also honeymooners....
Yes, i have enough rest, sleep and at least i dont get tensed up with work, with daily chores, responsibilities... but im used to it. Every morning i woke up thinking i had to send my dotters to school...
I have to more days to go... i am seriously BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDD to death. Im going to deep myself in the ocean today to have the feel of SAMUI waves.
Will write back n update with pictures.
All in all my China and Vietnam trip is the most fulfilling that i ever had
The hotel room was fabulous big, spacious and authentic. For honeymooners it will be nice and cozy. The bathroom was so huge divided into three section. Bathtub corner, wc, and showering all in different corner and big mirror in the middle. Its so beautiful but its in the opposite of the road not just overlooking the ocean. Frustrating enough..... Food not so satisfying as my boss claimed!! My day was filled with just relaxing and nothing more than that.
Shopping??? Nothing to shop about. This place is more of paradise to men and also honeymooners....
Yes, i have enough rest, sleep and at least i dont get tensed up with work, with daily chores, responsibilities... but im used to it. Every morning i woke up thinking i had to send my dotters to school...
I have to more days to go... i am seriously BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDD to death. Im going to deep myself in the ocean today to have the feel of SAMUI waves.
Will write back n update with pictures.
All in all my China and Vietnam trip is the most fulfilling that i ever had
Friday, September 26, 2008
Layu sebelum Berkembang
It happen for a reason in this season in a lifetime.
When you love it is better to let it go and let it comeback if it is meant for you.
When you love it is better to let it go and let it comeback if it is meant for you.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hijrah
Aku dipinta untuk berhijrah segalanya hari ini.
Bukan hanya hijrah tempat malah berhijrah tentang hati juga.
Noktah itukah jawapan?
Bukan hanya hijrah tempat malah berhijrah tentang hati juga.
Noktah itukah jawapan?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Jujur
Sukar untuk dimengertikan definisi KEJUJURAN.
Jujur terhadap diri, jujur terhadap kehidupan, teman dan juga sekeliling. Tak mungkin aku dapat jujur pada diriku sendiri hanya kerana aku ingin menjaga hati mereka yang berada di sekelilingku.
Banyak yang tersungkam jauh dilubuk hati, walau meronta untuk dilepaskan. Sayang aku tak mungkin dapat melepaskannya walau hatiku amat ingin memberitahu apa sebenarnya yang ingin ku inginkan. Walaupun kuberitahu mungkinkah ia menjadi milikku?
Ramadhan semakin jauh berlalu, sayu meninggalkan aku.
Sepi itu tetap akan kumilikki.
AMIN
Jujur terhadap diri, jujur terhadap kehidupan, teman dan juga sekeliling. Tak mungkin aku dapat jujur pada diriku sendiri hanya kerana aku ingin menjaga hati mereka yang berada di sekelilingku.
Banyak yang tersungkam jauh dilubuk hati, walau meronta untuk dilepaskan. Sayang aku tak mungkin dapat melepaskannya walau hatiku amat ingin memberitahu apa sebenarnya yang ingin ku inginkan. Walaupun kuberitahu mungkinkah ia menjadi milikku?
Ramadhan semakin jauh berlalu, sayu meninggalkan aku.
Sepi itu tetap akan kumilikki.
AMIN
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Hanya Kau Yang Mampu
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It has been long since i hibernate. I dont write, i hardly goes out meeting all my friends as well as calling. Life is so calm and peaceful now. Not really actually but im taking it slowly one at a time.
If im really tensed out, i take time off with my kids out of town, outskirts or just hiding in some place that no one know except me n the kids. Not even him sometime. I dont want to include others as much as i wanted to.
So nowadays i become the private me as i always wanted to be. Keeping my smile intact, standing tall, my spirit are lift high on top. Im not sure for any reason those things happen but since i learn to forgive i think things are much easier. Much much much easier.
There is lots stage of changes that are made. Along that i learn lots of thing and issued are solved accordingly.
Knowing there is still people who thinks of me, love me from afar really amusing but too far. I cant afford to have long distance relationship anymore. Althogh he is single, capable, loving, presentable but the distance wont tame me the way i am. I learnt from my past mistake, i will never be able to hold my feelings.
In need of caring and loving nurture, i have to have someone who really devote into me. The unlikely me who I was before.
But that is what i want all this year. Cringing for my mothers love, cringing for someone that i can depend of.
He yelled at me yesterday because he cant stand my behaviour, my action, my tantrum, and i become calm, i become softer and i relent in his arm. The moment i was envelope in his love i dissolve into pieces and there i was deserted in nowhere looking for my shinning star
It has been long since i hibernate. I dont write, i hardly goes out meeting all my friends as well as calling. Life is so calm and peaceful now. Not really actually but im taking it slowly one at a time.
If im really tensed out, i take time off with my kids out of town, outskirts or just hiding in some place that no one know except me n the kids. Not even him sometime. I dont want to include others as much as i wanted to.
So nowadays i become the private me as i always wanted to be. Keeping my smile intact, standing tall, my spirit are lift high on top. Im not sure for any reason those things happen but since i learn to forgive i think things are much easier. Much much much easier.
There is lots stage of changes that are made. Along that i learn lots of thing and issued are solved accordingly.
Knowing there is still people who thinks of me, love me from afar really amusing but too far. I cant afford to have long distance relationship anymore. Althogh he is single, capable, loving, presentable but the distance wont tame me the way i am. I learnt from my past mistake, i will never be able to hold my feelings.
In need of caring and loving nurture, i have to have someone who really devote into me. The unlikely me who I was before.
But that is what i want all this year. Cringing for my mothers love, cringing for someone that i can depend of.
He yelled at me yesterday because he cant stand my behaviour, my action, my tantrum, and i become calm, i become softer and i relent in his arm. The moment i was envelope in his love i dissolve into pieces and there i was deserted in nowhere looking for my shinning star
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Maturity takes its place
The indecent proposal has never stop. That's for sure. God is always testing people like me especially. Somehow its depends on individual. Can only smile and let it be.
They may say anything, assume anything...
Sometime its good just to play with it a bit and let it pausedddddddddd for a long time and then tickle it again. It does not do harm to anyone. Neither me or the other party.
Days past by without looking back what have we left and the unpredictable tomorrow still coming as it should. Takings things as it is making it easier for me to handle everything now.
No more predicament, no more hassle and no more sad feeling i hope...
They may say anything, assume anything...
Sometime its good just to play with it a bit and let it pausedddddddddd for a long time and then tickle it again. It does not do harm to anyone. Neither me or the other party.
Days past by without looking back what have we left and the unpredictable tomorrow still coming as it should. Takings things as it is making it easier for me to handle everything now.
No more predicament, no more hassle and no more sad feeling i hope...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ripe, Mature and Irresistible
My trip was successfully ventured. Was it my birthday treat? Its merely a gateaway for me just like what i did last year to Singapore. I had fun. Pleasing myself luxuriosly on things i love to do.
TRAVEL - i visit one place at a time beside some shopping. Im yet to discover the place for portraiting myself or rather "the riched of our nature". This time it was pleasant because i shop more for my children besides friends and a bit for my pocket money. Being a company to him was the best i guess so far.
Understanding a person do take a long time. I don't have much time talking to him either. Its either he is busy bargaining with the shop while im busying myself discovering lots of new things around the places. I found it so amusing going with a man who loves to shop. I feel bored and tired easily just like those typical men do. Erkkkk...
The moment i reach hotel, i showered not even bothered to make coffee to pleased myself after the treat of shopping i doze of to heavily sleep till i hear snores beside me. The familiar sound again came to mind where i shared my bed with my ex husband.
They snored while sleeping. LOUDLY!! If only it was him (i mean my ex) im sure i will be slapping his mouth just to shut him out for a while. Sigh... Something that i've not shared for a very long time.
He told me i did not lie on my back while sleeping, i hide my face on the bed instead. So he is not sleeping but watching me. Anyway i was too tired to share what we did during the day time. As early as 630AM our time i was awake by the alarm and remembered my kids.
From time to time my past being digged and i just changed the subject as and when i think it should or shut his mouth by tiny little kiss. Caught by surprised of my behaviour and i was warned in due course.
I told him that was me the unpredictable, the and adventurous & thrill, and spontaneous. I can be so emotional, i can be rational but then its alway depending on the situation. People dont poke me I wont jump out of the blue of course. I think deep ahead, which to some people i am very emotional. Whatever it is i know what im doing, expecting and going through. Yes i may be get hurt but i am prepared of it now.
Lets see how the flow is taking me. I have cried enough before my birthday listening to her about him. Yes, you know based on what you hear from me, him and others and i am based to what i am experiencing. I dont have to tell all. You have every rights to get angry over a situation merely because you are very lucky. Very very lucky but then its my part that i have to take and carry along the way of love i am building.
I can for sure build it and kills the love and desire i have had.
I dont sound enthusiastic at time when i speak to certain people. Why??? Let them find it out. I have explained enough throughout. If you don't see me through, just like i see you that means i have to wait patiences till you understand it yourself. If you don't then im sorry i cant help you further.
Our last day together has bring his sad mood. He was being quiet in the car which brings us separate homes.
While i am looking forward to see my children that i misses so much and he is keeping his sadness.
I cant help you on that im sorry. You have to go back to whom you belongs to. I belongs to no one. And im happy to be back home where love envelopes us together.
And the number has made me ripe, mature and irresistible i noted...
On the other hand i feel jealous over the other friend who wake up in the wee hours seeking for his love and finding solace to get HIS attention, love and reward. I am yes feeling very very very jealous when i hear those. She has gotten all the reward even on the other hand she is in a battle of loosing the husband to another woman.
Kasih yang amat sejati dan kekal adalah dengan menjadi kekasih allah... Bilakah waktunya aku akan menyerahkan seluruh hidup, jiwa dan hatiku padanya sedangkan dalam kehidupan ku seharian terisi kasih darinnya yang tiada berbelah bagi dari 2 jari tapakku hinggalah kesaat ini.
Aku harus berjuang untuk itu... Harus..
TRAVEL - i visit one place at a time beside some shopping. Im yet to discover the place for portraiting myself or rather "the riched of our nature". This time it was pleasant because i shop more for my children besides friends and a bit for my pocket money. Being a company to him was the best i guess so far.
Understanding a person do take a long time. I don't have much time talking to him either. Its either he is busy bargaining with the shop while im busying myself discovering lots of new things around the places. I found it so amusing going with a man who loves to shop. I feel bored and tired easily just like those typical men do. Erkkkk...
The moment i reach hotel, i showered not even bothered to make coffee to pleased myself after the treat of shopping i doze of to heavily sleep till i hear snores beside me. The familiar sound again came to mind where i shared my bed with my ex husband.
They snored while sleeping. LOUDLY!! If only it was him (i mean my ex) im sure i will be slapping his mouth just to shut him out for a while. Sigh... Something that i've not shared for a very long time.
He told me i did not lie on my back while sleeping, i hide my face on the bed instead. So he is not sleeping but watching me. Anyway i was too tired to share what we did during the day time. As early as 630AM our time i was awake by the alarm and remembered my kids.
From time to time my past being digged and i just changed the subject as and when i think it should or shut his mouth by tiny little kiss. Caught by surprised of my behaviour and i was warned in due course.
I told him that was me the unpredictable, the and adventurous & thrill, and spontaneous. I can be so emotional, i can be rational but then its alway depending on the situation. People dont poke me I wont jump out of the blue of course. I think deep ahead, which to some people i am very emotional. Whatever it is i know what im doing, expecting and going through. Yes i may be get hurt but i am prepared of it now.
Lets see how the flow is taking me. I have cried enough before my birthday listening to her about him. Yes, you know based on what you hear from me, him and others and i am based to what i am experiencing. I dont have to tell all. You have every rights to get angry over a situation merely because you are very lucky. Very very lucky but then its my part that i have to take and carry along the way of love i am building.
I can for sure build it and kills the love and desire i have had.
I dont sound enthusiastic at time when i speak to certain people. Why??? Let them find it out. I have explained enough throughout. If you don't see me through, just like i see you that means i have to wait patiences till you understand it yourself. If you don't then im sorry i cant help you further.
Our last day together has bring his sad mood. He was being quiet in the car which brings us separate homes.
While i am looking forward to see my children that i misses so much and he is keeping his sadness.
I cant help you on that im sorry. You have to go back to whom you belongs to. I belongs to no one. And im happy to be back home where love envelopes us together.
And the number has made me ripe, mature and irresistible i noted...
On the other hand i feel jealous over the other friend who wake up in the wee hours seeking for his love and finding solace to get HIS attention, love and reward. I am yes feeling very very very jealous when i hear those. She has gotten all the reward even on the other hand she is in a battle of loosing the husband to another woman.
Kasih yang amat sejati dan kekal adalah dengan menjadi kekasih allah... Bilakah waktunya aku akan menyerahkan seluruh hidup, jiwa dan hatiku padanya sedangkan dalam kehidupan ku seharian terisi kasih darinnya yang tiada berbelah bagi dari 2 jari tapakku hinggalah kesaat ini.
Aku harus berjuang untuk itu... Harus..
Poem for Mom
A mother, a father, this woman’s job is never done. A cooker, a cleaner, trying and trying, tired and tired, waiting til this day is done.
A flower in the light, and a tear in the dark trying, trying and doing the best that she can do.
What this day will bring, she wish she had the key, only no one knows, cause a skirt she wears in the morning light and as the evening nears, a pair of trousers with a loving smile that layers and peels into a grim stern face holding on, trying, trying to do the best that she can do.
A mother, a father, a mother playing a father’s role, caught up in rising and raising her pride and her joy, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be while she struggles to do the best that she can do.
Traded-in for a better life without them, fathers who left no pride or joy behind because they could not do and be the best that they could be.
But, still this mother allows herself to rise so that she can raise her children the best she can. A mother and a father that’s all she can be, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be so that her children can be the best that they can be.
Trying and trying, rising and rising and raising her children to be the best that they can be.
A flower in the light, and a tear in the dark trying, trying and doing the best that she can do.
What this day will bring, she wish she had the key, only no one knows, cause a skirt she wears in the morning light and as the evening nears, a pair of trousers with a loving smile that layers and peels into a grim stern face holding on, trying, trying to do the best that she can do.
A mother, a father, a mother playing a father’s role, caught up in rising and raising her pride and her joy, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be while she struggles to do the best that she can do.
Traded-in for a better life without them, fathers who left no pride or joy behind because they could not do and be the best that they could be.
But, still this mother allows herself to rise so that she can raise her children the best she can. A mother and a father that’s all she can be, trying, and trying to be the best that she can be so that her children can be the best that they can be.
Trying and trying, rising and rising and raising her children to be the best that they can be.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Gajah dan Semut
Kemusnahan umat terlihat nyata sekarang. Tak ramai yang melihat itu dengan hati tapi yang nyata ianya tidak merunsingkan mereka sedikitpun. Ramai yang tidak ambil peduli apa yang berlaku disekeliling kita. Tetapi hanya menumpukan kepada apa yang mereka hadapi. Jelasnya tidak mudah untuk kita mengakui apakah kesilapan kita yang membawa kepada kejadian hari esok.
Kita saling menuduh antara satu sama lain jika berlaku pertelingkahan. Hakikatnya adalah perlu jika kita merenung apa kah sebabnya pertelingkahan itu. Zahirnya kita payah ingin mengalah tetapi renungan yang dalam akan membawa pada jawapan bahawa setiap perlakuan mesti ada sebab, bila, mengapa ia harus terjadi.
Kita saling menuduh antara satu sama lain jika berlaku pertelingkahan. Hakikatnya adalah perlu jika kita merenung apa kah sebabnya pertelingkahan itu. Zahirnya kita payah ingin mengalah tetapi renungan yang dalam akan membawa pada jawapan bahawa setiap perlakuan mesti ada sebab, bila, mengapa ia harus terjadi.
And the line draws nearer
Current mood: fabulous
Category: Blogging
A day before reaching 40...
Its a number indeed but its take long time to reach to that number. Path, ways, experience and also significance achievement conquered along the journey left so many memories.
I have come to a stage being ripe and mature. Even sometimes i feel im on the edge of life but mostly at times still at lost. I want but im scared, I need but i dont want to fight for it... why bcause i think if it is not meant for me it wont be mine anyway.
I have been receiving so many wishes throughout the last 10 days. Thank you friends. Ill be leaving on Wednesday nite and be back on Friday but im out again on Sat and Sun. My kids will be having their own camping program leaving me with my classmate to reunite again.
Till next update
Category: Blogging
A day before reaching 40...
Its a number indeed but its take long time to reach to that number. Path, ways, experience and also significance achievement conquered along the journey left so many memories.
I have come to a stage being ripe and mature. Even sometimes i feel im on the edge of life but mostly at times still at lost. I want but im scared, I need but i dont want to fight for it... why bcause i think if it is not meant for me it wont be mine anyway.
I have been receiving so many wishes throughout the last 10 days. Thank you friends. Ill be leaving on Wednesday nite and be back on Friday but im out again on Sat and Sun. My kids will be having their own camping program leaving me with my classmate to reunite again.
Till next update
Friday, July 04, 2008
Love and Honour
It was an honour to love and be loved by someone. But most importantly is to love HIM most and wholeheartedly. Only then you will know and understand what love is all about. The tenderness, the caring part, the passion, the calmness, the peace that you will carry in you within daily life.
The beautiful part is to accept things as it is although there is a plenty question to ask around you. Things happen because it has to according to HIM. It comes from yourself, within you.
Sometime we tend to be ignorance to certain issue towards people but the fact is some people around us couldn’t stand it. Do people really knows and understand you the way HE does?
Last nite I was sitting in my car for long listening to something factual and reality. Slowly the feelings changed into deep sadness of how some people see from their side. Yes, everyone has their own right towards everything. Reason why I don’t want to open up to anyone about my story was because I don’t want to change their perceptions. If that’s what you think about some people I let you think the way you want it.
Because of all people who knows whoever they are in your own life was only you to know them indepth. The social circle was to make us learn about individual. If certain people only learning how to live at the age of 30 or 20 or may 40. I’ve learn it all the way through. If people can’t stand my way I can’t make them understand certain things underlaying the reason gave.
But when she said I always justify, accommodate, adapting, accepting every reason one gave to me doesn’t that give her a signal. Am I not doing the same to her too? But who am I to question that? I just eat it up.
Do I complaint about one behaviour towards me sometimes. The most I could do was hibernate myself alone. I will only entertain who ever can. She was the longest friend I have but couldn’t see me in the true eyes but then again I told myself “that’s her”. I don’t complaint but I evaluate what she said my way.
When a married man goes out of the house to find love what does comes to mind? He’s not logical, he is stupid, he is insane, he is just testing waters, he is just pure lay, he is just bastard who never gets enough. No matter how good the woman are to them its still not enough.
Hunters they are, if they don’t eat it they would just smells it. Remembering what she says about Yusfi, reminds me to Halimi, who has to say this “you purposely arrange your swimming class or outing when you’re having your periods?”. I just smile and walks away from him looking at my children happily playing in the water.
There is always a purpose people asking, inviting and reason to be there. Why do I need a man when I have full complete life even its hard. Companion, understanding, share my reason why I still work here though I feel being penalize all the time but im happy of what im learning and do what I can.
I don’t want to go further. I had cried enough all night because of that conversation and its affected other people too. But then if she is capable to do that with me what more to others hence again I told myself “its just her”.
And I wake up taking my bath in wee hours seeking solace presenting my thoughts and soul to HIM. Only him will understand, and knows why I do that to everyone. I dare not ask HIM whether have I not being fair to everyone and why everyone is not being fair to me.
Was it not enough to be accommodating, adapting and understanding people around. I leave it to HIM to answer me in point of time. I don’t look forward to my birthday because its only brings me sadness of that I have done to people around me can never satisfy them enough.
Now is a time to satisfy and pleased my self alone.
The beautiful part is to accept things as it is although there is a plenty question to ask around you. Things happen because it has to according to HIM. It comes from yourself, within you.
Sometime we tend to be ignorance to certain issue towards people but the fact is some people around us couldn’t stand it. Do people really knows and understand you the way HE does?
Last nite I was sitting in my car for long listening to something factual and reality. Slowly the feelings changed into deep sadness of how some people see from their side. Yes, everyone has their own right towards everything. Reason why I don’t want to open up to anyone about my story was because I don’t want to change their perceptions. If that’s what you think about some people I let you think the way you want it.
Because of all people who knows whoever they are in your own life was only you to know them indepth. The social circle was to make us learn about individual. If certain people only learning how to live at the age of 30 or 20 or may 40. I’ve learn it all the way through. If people can’t stand my way I can’t make them understand certain things underlaying the reason gave.
But when she said I always justify, accommodate, adapting, accepting every reason one gave to me doesn’t that give her a signal. Am I not doing the same to her too? But who am I to question that? I just eat it up.
Do I complaint about one behaviour towards me sometimes. The most I could do was hibernate myself alone. I will only entertain who ever can. She was the longest friend I have but couldn’t see me in the true eyes but then again I told myself “that’s her”. I don’t complaint but I evaluate what she said my way.
When a married man goes out of the house to find love what does comes to mind? He’s not logical, he is stupid, he is insane, he is just testing waters, he is just pure lay, he is just bastard who never gets enough. No matter how good the woman are to them its still not enough.
Hunters they are, if they don’t eat it they would just smells it. Remembering what she says about Yusfi, reminds me to Halimi, who has to say this “you purposely arrange your swimming class or outing when you’re having your periods?”. I just smile and walks away from him looking at my children happily playing in the water.
There is always a purpose people asking, inviting and reason to be there. Why do I need a man when I have full complete life even its hard. Companion, understanding, share my reason why I still work here though I feel being penalize all the time but im happy of what im learning and do what I can.
I don’t want to go further. I had cried enough all night because of that conversation and its affected other people too. But then if she is capable to do that with me what more to others hence again I told myself “its just her”.
And I wake up taking my bath in wee hours seeking solace presenting my thoughts and soul to HIM. Only him will understand, and knows why I do that to everyone. I dare not ask HIM whether have I not being fair to everyone and why everyone is not being fair to me.
Was it not enough to be accommodating, adapting and understanding people around. I leave it to HIM to answer me in point of time. I don’t look forward to my birthday because its only brings me sadness of that I have done to people around me can never satisfy them enough.
Now is a time to satisfy and pleased my self alone.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Catching my page again
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Blogging
Blog ini semakin sepi...
Kerana aku tak punya waktu untuk meninjau maupun menulis. Waktuku tertebus dengan kehidupan seharian yang penuh. Ruang yang kosong cuma untuk tidur dan yang sedikit untuk dikongsi dengan mereka yang paling dekat.
Dad is back till after my birthday. Will be celebrating parents birthday by the end of this month hopefully since dad in the beginning and mom end of June. Perfect... n soon it will be then my brother and next mine.
So much to write so little space to spare. But life goes just like what i wanted to be. On certain circumstances I dont have much to comments nor to complaint. Im tight but im still leaving town on a regular basis.
Im going to visit Jakarta again for my birthday since Singapore is not likely to be seen anywhere. But who says i cant spare that moment. I will have to try. Its a must. Singapore sale is almost done but the memoirs of the celebration on few occasions never leaves my mind.
Wonderful is still waiting, amoi is still checking which bus im gonna hop in. More likely this time im going to Chitos or rather, Plaza Anggerik or Senayan or maybe Pasar Baru n get my potrait done.
Bali is schedule somewhere in August. This year im full with travel plans and self indulgence. Problems, yes there are but if men can put it aside so do me...
Till then I'll write again.
Category: Blogging
Blog ini semakin sepi...
Kerana aku tak punya waktu untuk meninjau maupun menulis. Waktuku tertebus dengan kehidupan seharian yang penuh. Ruang yang kosong cuma untuk tidur dan yang sedikit untuk dikongsi dengan mereka yang paling dekat.
Dad is back till after my birthday. Will be celebrating parents birthday by the end of this month hopefully since dad in the beginning and mom end of June. Perfect... n soon it will be then my brother and next mine.
So much to write so little space to spare. But life goes just like what i wanted to be. On certain circumstances I dont have much to comments nor to complaint. Im tight but im still leaving town on a regular basis.
Im going to visit Jakarta again for my birthday since Singapore is not likely to be seen anywhere. But who says i cant spare that moment. I will have to try. Its a must. Singapore sale is almost done but the memoirs of the celebration on few occasions never leaves my mind.
Wonderful is still waiting, amoi is still checking which bus im gonna hop in. More likely this time im going to Chitos or rather, Plaza Anggerik or Senayan or maybe Pasar Baru n get my potrait done.
Bali is schedule somewhere in August. This year im full with travel plans and self indulgence. Problems, yes there are but if men can put it aside so do me...
Till then I'll write again.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Jakarta Revisit
It was visited again after 2 months. This time only two of us with clear intentions and minds. He came along after an option given either him or her? ;-) Yes he doesn't know if Rome will be meeting me there. He was shocked when i told him we will meet my besties on the second nite.
Again the revisit was total successful and a blast as I am going with intentions and fully alert of what i want. Only problems when he made wrong calculations and it spoill the entire journey but arghhh thank god besties is there to save me. Yeah alhamdullillah in anyways she is always there to save me.
Again the revisit was total successful and a blast as I am going with intentions and fully alert of what i want. Only problems when he made wrong calculations and it spoill the entire journey but arghhh thank god besties is there to save me. Yeah alhamdullillah in anyways she is always there to save me.
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