It was a very bz day yesterday. I was having good chat with some friends over chat and sms but not on the phone. The inner layer was soft but the outer was hard. Real cancerian with the mood swings.
Now i dont care much if he dont call or sms. Not needing to know whether i am needed or not. My last sms last night was "kekecilan hatiku adalah sangat kecil jika dibandingkan dengan kesedihan seorang isteri yang perlukan perhatian"
Siapalah aku, hanya orang ketiga yang tidak seharusnya berada disitu. Aku terlalu penat melayan karenah ingin yang mahu dilayani dan diladeni. Aku telah penat untuk memahami. Sekarang aku tak perlu sesiapa untuk memahami ku maupun aku untuk menyenangkan hati sesiapa.
I save so much in guarding my feelings and self. There is many around who trying to get their space their chances. Only thing i am keeping the space and queue accordingly. Now its open to everyone. As i always said "best man wins"
I remember someone saying "let ur openess of ur heart find it's destiny". And i know i have never been looking and i just make it open. The door to my heart is by making me see the action speaks than the words.
Progress are only number or time consumed to get the journey gets its destiny. I love a quote from Mike this morning "i think u r a friend with comandable character. I like u"
I was smiling all the way to my lunch. Having it not said also i know that my bitterness pull them away from me. I dont blame them and please dont blame me. Nothting that you do to glued me to you. No inspiration to have you tight beside me. Yes im craving for love n attention but im not a cheap bitch who will beg for love.
My place, my zone and my den are so cozy that i dont need anyone anymore till further notice. The adorable faces i always wanted to be with was my kids who always awaits for my home coming daily... God dont shove the love away from me just yet... let me have June to decide then may be you can give me
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Capricorns
Capricorn, the tenth Sign of the Zodiac, is all about hard work. Those born under this Sign are more than happy to put in a full day at the office, realizing that it will likely take a lot of those days to get to the top. That's no problem, since Capricorns are both ambitious and determined: they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do. Capricorns are practical as well, taking things one step at a time and being as realistic and pragmatic as possible. The Capricorn-born are extremely dedicated to their goals, almost to the point of stubbornness. Boy, those victories sure smell sweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.
The Goat symbolizes Capricorns, and an apt mascot it is. Goats love to climb to the top of the mountain, where the air is clear and fresh. In much the same way, Capricorns want to get to the top of their chosen field so that they can reap the benefits of success; namely fame, prestige and money. Getting to the top isn't always a walk in the park, however, so it's likely that Goats will ruffle a few feathers along the way. These folks can indeed be domineering, even egotistical, on their route to the top. They'll tell you it's part of being a leader with bright new ideas (in keeping with the Cardinal Quality assigned to this Sign).
Capricorns are industrious, efficient, organized and won't make a lot of waves. They are scrupulous with details and adopt a rather conventional posture in business and in life. These folks feel best playing it safe, since this is a fail-safe way to get to the top -- eventually.
Thankfully, Capricorns are patient, too, and are happy to wait for their ship to come in. The flip side to this staid behavior is that Goats can become quite unforgiving of those who aren't as diligent or ambitious as they are. Capricorns need to remember that they do need allies along the way, ambitious or otherwise. In any case, once Capricorns receive the recognition and social status they so fervently crave, it's likely that all will be forgiven.
The Goat symbolizes Capricorns, and an apt mascot it is. Goats love to climb to the top of the mountain, where the air is clear and fresh. In much the same way, Capricorns want to get to the top of their chosen field so that they can reap the benefits of success; namely fame, prestige and money. Getting to the top isn't always a walk in the park, however, so it's likely that Goats will ruffle a few feathers along the way. These folks can indeed be domineering, even egotistical, on their route to the top. They'll tell you it's part of being a leader with bright new ideas (in keeping with the Cardinal Quality assigned to this Sign).
Capricorns are industrious, efficient, organized and won't make a lot of waves. They are scrupulous with details and adopt a rather conventional posture in business and in life. These folks feel best playing it safe, since this is a fail-safe way to get to the top -- eventually.
Thankfully, Capricorns are patient, too, and are happy to wait for their ship to come in. The flip side to this staid behavior is that Goats can become quite unforgiving of those who aren't as diligent or ambitious as they are. Capricorns need to remember that they do need allies along the way, ambitious or otherwise. In any case, once Capricorns receive the recognition and social status they so fervently crave, it's likely that all will be forgiven.
Cancerian
Cancer, the fourth Sign of the Zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this Sign are 'roots' kinds of people and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family. Cancers are maternal, domestic and love to nurture others. More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities. They also tend to be patriotic, waving the flag whenever possible. A Cancer's good memory is the basis for stories told around the dinner table, and don't be surprised if these folks get emotional about things. Those born under this Sign wear their heart on their sleeve, which is just fine by them.
The mascot of Cancerians is the Crab, and much like this shelled little critter, Cancerians are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it's not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this 'shell' a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody. Further, in keeping with their difficulty in sharing their innermost feelings, it can become a Herculean task to pry a Crab out of its secret hiding place. What to do? Give the Crab time -- eventually these folks will come out to play again. When they do, they'll be the first to say so, in keeping with the Cardinal Quality attached to this Sign. It's said that Crabs are first to laugh and first to cry, so you can bet they'll fill you in.
That shell, by the way, isn't the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.
Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic
On the dark side
Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go
The mascot of Cancerians is the Crab, and much like this shelled little critter, Cancerians are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it's not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this 'shell' a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody. Further, in keeping with their difficulty in sharing their innermost feelings, it can become a Herculean task to pry a Crab out of its secret hiding place. What to do? Give the Crab time -- eventually these folks will come out to play again. When they do, they'll be the first to say so, in keeping with the Cardinal Quality attached to this Sign. It's said that Crabs are first to laugh and first to cry, so you can bet they'll fill you in.
That shell, by the way, isn't the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.
Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic
On the dark side
Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hunters
Male are hunters!!!!
The indecent proposal never stop. What do they look at a mother of 4. I remember when Din cant get back to me he come up with this "Who wants you? You are old!!! You are a women with 4 kids!!! Do you think man will like you"
I smile and walk away... Alhamdullillah... A challenge that i took that day are really sweet. It reminds me of him when the indecent proposer did not give up.
They know i never entertain those proposal, they know i will not turn up but they dont give up. What if i turn up, what if i accept it?
That will continue to be an "if" in my vocabs for now ...
Since I freed myself from a capsule of being little nice sweet me, since i dare my image in the mirror to be me, since i know what i am really looking at, that was the day i set myself free to be who I am. To have all the bad and weaknesses beaten and sliced. Although once a while i still have the old me but at least the fear is not as huge as before. What i am still lacking was confidence sometimes.
In terms of winning a man, i dont think i have to. I will only create problems as i know i wont be able to free myself so i may as well dont start.
Finally he gave up and send me a message to give my priority to my kids. Yes, and of course their my number one behind me. First of all when i address why he really wanted to see me yesterday was because he was lonely.
You have a wife, you have childrens who will make you lonely no more. Craze for attention i guess is more of the answer. If you dont ask for it, will you get it. Why do they find source instead of addressing matters. He almost married second time but when things dont work out his way he split.
Say for example i come to his way, enjoying every attention, care n pampering he gave, would my life be better? Would his be merrier?? More wives, more childrens... Hey wake up!!! More problems!!!
Because you come to me for an escapism. Running away from your loneliness, your attention crave and so on. I cant tolerate that. I want pure and simple love where you know what you want, accepting and appreciating what you do, what you want and so on...
Am i being emotional or being rationale here???? No one have the answer except me. One can judge me, read me, observe me but one dont know what am i really looking forward to. Because what i say and what i do may varies at certain time n occasion.
Be wise...
The indecent proposal never stop. What do they look at a mother of 4. I remember when Din cant get back to me he come up with this "Who wants you? You are old!!! You are a women with 4 kids!!! Do you think man will like you"
I smile and walk away... Alhamdullillah... A challenge that i took that day are really sweet. It reminds me of him when the indecent proposer did not give up.
They know i never entertain those proposal, they know i will not turn up but they dont give up. What if i turn up, what if i accept it?
That will continue to be an "if" in my vocabs for now ...
Since I freed myself from a capsule of being little nice sweet me, since i dare my image in the mirror to be me, since i know what i am really looking at, that was the day i set myself free to be who I am. To have all the bad and weaknesses beaten and sliced. Although once a while i still have the old me but at least the fear is not as huge as before. What i am still lacking was confidence sometimes.
In terms of winning a man, i dont think i have to. I will only create problems as i know i wont be able to free myself so i may as well dont start.
Finally he gave up and send me a message to give my priority to my kids. Yes, and of course their my number one behind me. First of all when i address why he really wanted to see me yesterday was because he was lonely.
You have a wife, you have childrens who will make you lonely no more. Craze for attention i guess is more of the answer. If you dont ask for it, will you get it. Why do they find source instead of addressing matters. He almost married second time but when things dont work out his way he split.
Say for example i come to his way, enjoying every attention, care n pampering he gave, would my life be better? Would his be merrier?? More wives, more childrens... Hey wake up!!! More problems!!!
Because you come to me for an escapism. Running away from your loneliness, your attention crave and so on. I cant tolerate that. I want pure and simple love where you know what you want, accepting and appreciating what you do, what you want and so on...
Am i being emotional or being rationale here???? No one have the answer except me. One can judge me, read me, observe me but one dont know what am i really looking forward to. Because what i say and what i do may varies at certain time n occasion.
Be wise...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Life Path & Destiny....
A week ago i saw her heart fills of blossom but last sunday she told me she cant take it. Too nice, too complementing, too good to be true and too good to hurt her at the same time loving every minute of his attention.
Whatever strucks her affecting myself too. Looking at myself who has been in the same shoe for almost 3 years without looking any difference since the relation took place. What can we 'other woman' do to make them expedite the decision.
Nothing!!! and because of that slowly my trust and believability resides back to a corner of my heart. The hurt are almost have the same effect although you do it in the beginning. She is trying not to cry. She is trying not to fall and stumble because it was just started. But she is very brave to have taken that step to be rationale on the whole episode of life before it become worst.
As worst as mine...
Whatever strucks her affecting myself too. Looking at myself who has been in the same shoe for almost 3 years without looking any difference since the relation took place. What can we 'other woman' do to make them expedite the decision.
Nothing!!! and because of that slowly my trust and believability resides back to a corner of my heart. The hurt are almost have the same effect although you do it in the beginning. She is trying not to cry. She is trying not to fall and stumble because it was just started. But she is very brave to have taken that step to be rationale on the whole episode of life before it become worst.
As worst as mine...
Gem of the eyes, Jewel of the heart
Why do we get affected sometimes. Love strucks if we allow it travel from the eyes right through the heart. When the journey start, brain wont be functioning well. Mind and emotion dont speaks same language.
While we want to be rational it often end to be emotional. And most of the time we let emotions decide than the brain. While the brain is saying no and emotions doesn't let go, it hurts as much as someone just leave you abruptly without saying anything.
While reasoning sometimes takes place but emotions failed to address the matter correctly. It took a courage and willpower to address what loves got to do with it.
Ive been building my trust, comppasion and love towards men again since the fall. But i hardly found believability in finding the reasons where i need to love. What loves are all about?
Love is about giving without expecting any from the other. With that loves are sweeter than expected. How do we achieve in relationship? Indeed very subjective. We tend to love and yet get it in return to make sure what we give are in order felt.
Looking back of what had given to HIM 16 years back. 2 years being in love, 10 years living together loving him unconditionally, and 6 years leaving my live empty without a man doesnt means im out of love.
Fulfillment came from THE ALMIGHTHY giving all sorts of love i needed except man. Yes, he sent me one after another to love but in return i know i can only love but cant be loved the same way i did. When i put it a stop, when i let myself go, flowing with all the love given from family, friends, acquantaince n etc i am more happier. Why because im not expecting. When i expect the same im hurt.
Now a replacement which was build from a friendship is running on a stagnant mode. Im not wanting to have anything else now. Not even assurance that i one day will be married again. 6 years past with lots of consequences and sweetness, i am now a person who knows what i want most in life.
I can travell anytime i like, i can be with whom i like, i can read anything that catch my eyes, i can go out n listen to Shakira fast pace and sway along with the music i love to hear n relief my loneliness when it comes knocking. Yes, community are not happy the way i live my way but what the heck.
Although at time im hungry for attention and need someone just to pamper me but deep in me always alarming that attention might lead me to further kind of shit. And so i grab my car key driving alone in the midst of night finding my soul, my love and eternity. I know HE knows what i want, what i crave badly but perhaps the time has not arrived for me just yet. Patience that i build n keep has made me stronger and being survivor all this while.
Grasping my soul alone with the moonlight and starry nights always heals me, although i dont achieve anything but at least im counting the stars instead of sin. Im a human being, the craving needs hurting me day by day but at least HE hears me well. He drive me into an excellence escapade rather than being a zombie. If i cant find that in a man, at least i found that in my ownself. So i know that IM NOT ALWAYS ALONE...
He is always there for me when i need him. And to him who claimed to love me, you know words aint enuogh... I can say i love you million times but to affects you with my passion and compassion are hard. Bitterness thought me to be carefull always but vulnerability always bring me back to reality that im only human who will not runaway from mistakes.
While we want to be rational it often end to be emotional. And most of the time we let emotions decide than the brain. While the brain is saying no and emotions doesn't let go, it hurts as much as someone just leave you abruptly without saying anything.
While reasoning sometimes takes place but emotions failed to address the matter correctly. It took a courage and willpower to address what loves got to do with it.
Ive been building my trust, comppasion and love towards men again since the fall. But i hardly found believability in finding the reasons where i need to love. What loves are all about?
Love is about giving without expecting any from the other. With that loves are sweeter than expected. How do we achieve in relationship? Indeed very subjective. We tend to love and yet get it in return to make sure what we give are in order felt.
Looking back of what had given to HIM 16 years back. 2 years being in love, 10 years living together loving him unconditionally, and 6 years leaving my live empty without a man doesnt means im out of love.
Fulfillment came from THE ALMIGHTHY giving all sorts of love i needed except man. Yes, he sent me one after another to love but in return i know i can only love but cant be loved the same way i did. When i put it a stop, when i let myself go, flowing with all the love given from family, friends, acquantaince n etc i am more happier. Why because im not expecting. When i expect the same im hurt.
Now a replacement which was build from a friendship is running on a stagnant mode. Im not wanting to have anything else now. Not even assurance that i one day will be married again. 6 years past with lots of consequences and sweetness, i am now a person who knows what i want most in life.
I can travell anytime i like, i can be with whom i like, i can read anything that catch my eyes, i can go out n listen to Shakira fast pace and sway along with the music i love to hear n relief my loneliness when it comes knocking. Yes, community are not happy the way i live my way but what the heck.
Although at time im hungry for attention and need someone just to pamper me but deep in me always alarming that attention might lead me to further kind of shit. And so i grab my car key driving alone in the midst of night finding my soul, my love and eternity. I know HE knows what i want, what i crave badly but perhaps the time has not arrived for me just yet. Patience that i build n keep has made me stronger and being survivor all this while.
Grasping my soul alone with the moonlight and starry nights always heals me, although i dont achieve anything but at least im counting the stars instead of sin. Im a human being, the craving needs hurting me day by day but at least HE hears me well. He drive me into an excellence escapade rather than being a zombie. If i cant find that in a man, at least i found that in my ownself. So i know that IM NOT ALWAYS ALONE...
He is always there for me when i need him. And to him who claimed to love me, you know words aint enuogh... I can say i love you million times but to affects you with my passion and compassion are hard. Bitterness thought me to be carefull always but vulnerability always bring me back to reality that im only human who will not runaway from mistakes.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Passion
I had made myself escape to Zeta Bar last weekend while Noelle was around in KL. 3 days on the go running around town and outskirts with her and the kids was fun and tiring. Despite building muscle on my thighs and legs i still can steal time to take a nap. Was too tired. Back wee hours and then chit chating non stop, next day drooling again.
Cant explain the kind of fun i had. It only reminds me few years back when it comes to Friday all of us was already pack n planned. Once i reached home, bathed then we start the journey. Its either a night in Melaka, PD, Seremban or whichever i feel like it. Kids has no objection to it. Infact they just enjoy the journey.
I have not been visiting clubs for quite sometime. I mean good one. Zeta has really offered me peace of mind when the singer was beautiful and energetic with the kind of music i love to hear and sway with. Friday night was just spend an hour when i was only offered limited time to show my face off there.
Saturday nite was where i am, with whom i am, and what i want to be. Music ease my heart away to the top. i dont care who the clubbers are. Although i found few eyes lurking around. While having good company as well as HIM around.
Musics of the ears ease the pain of the heart.
One thing i learn was Gem of the eyes and Jewel of the heart found. Ill will elaborate more on my next blog. I have to pack home. Lazy to go for Sheraton Subang as i need to be with my kids today. Need to addressed certain things.
My next Jakarta trip in the next two weeks and still comtemplating to accept the offer of GREAT SINGAPORE Sale in June. Lets just see after my Jakarta trip.
To you readers, read with open mind and window of the heart will decide should it still through and achieved while delivering.
;-)
Cant explain the kind of fun i had. It only reminds me few years back when it comes to Friday all of us was already pack n planned. Once i reached home, bathed then we start the journey. Its either a night in Melaka, PD, Seremban or whichever i feel like it. Kids has no objection to it. Infact they just enjoy the journey.
I have not been visiting clubs for quite sometime. I mean good one. Zeta has really offered me peace of mind when the singer was beautiful and energetic with the kind of music i love to hear and sway with. Friday night was just spend an hour when i was only offered limited time to show my face off there.
Saturday nite was where i am, with whom i am, and what i want to be. Music ease my heart away to the top. i dont care who the clubbers are. Although i found few eyes lurking around. While having good company as well as HIM around.
Musics of the ears ease the pain of the heart.
One thing i learn was Gem of the eyes and Jewel of the heart found. Ill will elaborate more on my next blog. I have to pack home. Lazy to go for Sheraton Subang as i need to be with my kids today. Need to addressed certain things.
My next Jakarta trip in the next two weeks and still comtemplating to accept the offer of GREAT SINGAPORE Sale in June. Lets just see after my Jakarta trip.
To you readers, read with open mind and window of the heart will decide should it still through and achieved while delivering.
;-)
JANGAN MENIKAH KERANA....
1. Jangan menikah karena harta :
Tidak ada gunanya hidup bergelimangan harta tanpa cinta. Harta dapat datang dan pergi setiap saat. "Cinta" yang sesat dan sesaat dapat diperoleh setiap saat, tapi cinta yang sejati tidak dapat dibeli dengan harta.
2. Jangan menikah karena perasaan asmara :
Rasa tertarik, simpati, naksir, yang merupakan asmara yang sering disalah artikan sebagai cinta. Asmara itu bukan cinta. Asmara dapat cepat berubah oleh rupa, harta, tempat dan keadaan. Asmara itu buta, tidak tahan lama dan tidak tahan uji. Cinta perlu diuji dalam suka dan duka dengan mata terbuka.
3. Jangan menikah karena rupa saja :
Kecantikan yang diluar memang indah, tapi dapat luntur termakan umur. Utamakanlah kecantikan yang di dalam.
4. Jangan menikah karena iba :
lba (rasa kasihan) memang baik dan harus ada dalam hidup kita, tapi tidak boleh menjadi dasar pemikahan. Kasihan dapat habis, tapi kasih tidak berkesudahan.Dasar pernikahan adalah kasih, bukan kasihan
5. Jangan menikah untuk kepuasan sex saja :
Memang sex suci dan penting dalam hubungan suami-istri, namun tidak boleh menjadi tujuan utama dari pemikahan. Sex hanyalah salah satu bagian dari pernikahan. Orang yang hanya mengejar kenikmatan sex akan kecewa dan terjerat oleh kesusahan yang diciptakannya sendiri.
6. Jangan menikah karena paksaan keluarga :
Seorang anak harus berbakti kepada keluarga, namun tidak boleh menyerah dalam hal nikah, kalau mereka memang salah dan anda benar. Berdoalah dan berikanlah penjelasan kepada mereka, jangan dengan kekerasan.
7. Jangan menikah karena desakan usia :
Bila usia sudah menjelang senja dan rekan-rekan sudah berpasangan, orang akan mulai gelisah (terutama pada wanita). Banyak orang akhimya "asal tabrak dan sikat." Hindarilah tindakan tersebut.Sabadah dan yakinilah bahwa Tuhan sudah menyediakan yang terbaik untuk anda. Jangan takut kehabisan jatah dan kadaluarsa.
8. Jangan menikah untuk membalas jasa :
Orang yang telah berbuat baik perlu dibalas, tapi jangan dengan pernikahan. Salah satu hal lain yang tidak boleh dilupakan, dan merupakan yang terpenting adalah jangan menikah tanpa pengertian dan persiapan dengan tindakan yang nyata.
Menikahlah menurut pola rencana Tuhan
Daripada salah dan mengundang derita, lebih baik tidak menikah.
Jika tidak diteguhkan oleh Tuhan. Karena Tuhanlah yang menciptakan manusia sepasang-sepasang.
Tanpa persetujuan Tuhan, tidak mungkin manusia dapat bersatu !
Tidak ada gunanya hidup bergelimangan harta tanpa cinta. Harta dapat datang dan pergi setiap saat. "Cinta" yang sesat dan sesaat dapat diperoleh setiap saat, tapi cinta yang sejati tidak dapat dibeli dengan harta.
2. Jangan menikah karena perasaan asmara :
Rasa tertarik, simpati, naksir, yang merupakan asmara yang sering disalah artikan sebagai cinta. Asmara itu bukan cinta. Asmara dapat cepat berubah oleh rupa, harta, tempat dan keadaan. Asmara itu buta, tidak tahan lama dan tidak tahan uji. Cinta perlu diuji dalam suka dan duka dengan mata terbuka.
3. Jangan menikah karena rupa saja :
Kecantikan yang diluar memang indah, tapi dapat luntur termakan umur. Utamakanlah kecantikan yang di dalam.
4. Jangan menikah karena iba :
lba (rasa kasihan) memang baik dan harus ada dalam hidup kita, tapi tidak boleh menjadi dasar pemikahan. Kasihan dapat habis, tapi kasih tidak berkesudahan.Dasar pernikahan adalah kasih, bukan kasihan
5. Jangan menikah untuk kepuasan sex saja :
Memang sex suci dan penting dalam hubungan suami-istri, namun tidak boleh menjadi tujuan utama dari pemikahan. Sex hanyalah salah satu bagian dari pernikahan. Orang yang hanya mengejar kenikmatan sex akan kecewa dan terjerat oleh kesusahan yang diciptakannya sendiri.
6. Jangan menikah karena paksaan keluarga :
Seorang anak harus berbakti kepada keluarga, namun tidak boleh menyerah dalam hal nikah, kalau mereka memang salah dan anda benar. Berdoalah dan berikanlah penjelasan kepada mereka, jangan dengan kekerasan.
7. Jangan menikah karena desakan usia :
Bila usia sudah menjelang senja dan rekan-rekan sudah berpasangan, orang akan mulai gelisah (terutama pada wanita). Banyak orang akhimya "asal tabrak dan sikat." Hindarilah tindakan tersebut.Sabadah dan yakinilah bahwa Tuhan sudah menyediakan yang terbaik untuk anda. Jangan takut kehabisan jatah dan kadaluarsa.
8. Jangan menikah untuk membalas jasa :
Orang yang telah berbuat baik perlu dibalas, tapi jangan dengan pernikahan. Salah satu hal lain yang tidak boleh dilupakan, dan merupakan yang terpenting adalah jangan menikah tanpa pengertian dan persiapan dengan tindakan yang nyata.
Menikahlah menurut pola rencana Tuhan
Daripada salah dan mengundang derita, lebih baik tidak menikah.
Jika tidak diteguhkan oleh Tuhan. Karena Tuhanlah yang menciptakan manusia sepasang-sepasang.
Tanpa persetujuan Tuhan, tidak mungkin manusia dapat bersatu !
Friday, May 16, 2008
Self Values
How do we value ourself?? In accordance to what people think, in accordance to what our parents set for us or be it in accordance what you want in the first place.
Many of us forgets where to start first. Human tends to pleased others more in the first place than ownself. I did that before. It give me kind of satisfaction in me. What drives me in doing that? I don't know, perhaps when someone appreciate and feel happy of what we did that gives us sense of belonging and happiness.
But how long would we satisfied doing that and not having it the same way in return? Its like have a one way street, clapping with one hand and so on.
The secret of giving is never expecting a return. When expectation does not achieved it hurts ourself. At the end of the day we are being sulky.
I tried most of things i scare to do last time. Testing my strengths, patience, hatred and anger are not easy. Especially when you dont have anyone to turn to. I mean u can't shoot your friend with certain question. Like you cant ask ur husband about another man attitude, you cant ask your wife why her hands is so rough while the other lady you saw in the goldsmith shop is so smooth when you shop for her anniversary ring, and you cant ask your mom why cant she cook yummilicious like your indian neighbour.
Gathering few people thoughts about certain issue and reasoning why they think differently on the same issue makes me wonder sometimes. Why i can refuse many invitations but accepting one without objection. Why i can continue being friends or i can just ignored if they forgets. I will make few attempts to make them remember me. Once, twice, thrice and finally if theres no answer let them find me instead.
Life is more beautiful if you make it simpler. True at times i only look at it bitterly. Because i dont want to be in that shoe again. If im labelled without being analysed before further get to know session, i would just accept it.
At the end of the day people know how to make their own judgement.
Many of us forgets where to start first. Human tends to pleased others more in the first place than ownself. I did that before. It give me kind of satisfaction in me. What drives me in doing that? I don't know, perhaps when someone appreciate and feel happy of what we did that gives us sense of belonging and happiness.
But how long would we satisfied doing that and not having it the same way in return? Its like have a one way street, clapping with one hand and so on.
The secret of giving is never expecting a return. When expectation does not achieved it hurts ourself. At the end of the day we are being sulky.
I tried most of things i scare to do last time. Testing my strengths, patience, hatred and anger are not easy. Especially when you dont have anyone to turn to. I mean u can't shoot your friend with certain question. Like you cant ask ur husband about another man attitude, you cant ask your wife why her hands is so rough while the other lady you saw in the goldsmith shop is so smooth when you shop for her anniversary ring, and you cant ask your mom why cant she cook yummilicious like your indian neighbour.
Gathering few people thoughts about certain issue and reasoning why they think differently on the same issue makes me wonder sometimes. Why i can refuse many invitations but accepting one without objection. Why i can continue being friends or i can just ignored if they forgets. I will make few attempts to make them remember me. Once, twice, thrice and finally if theres no answer let them find me instead.
Life is more beautiful if you make it simpler. True at times i only look at it bitterly. Because i dont want to be in that shoe again. If im labelled without being analysed before further get to know session, i would just accept it.
At the end of the day people know how to make their own judgement.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Besties
I have a chance to go for a short trip to Jakarta last month. I was trying to get her to come with me for many times but it seems she is not interested to come. It was told to the other friends who always goes there on a good deal of fares. 4 of us went from 19th to 21st when she has something on. I was on a runnaway basis i guess when i took the offer.
Before that she send me a long email which invite my tears again of what she feels towards me, towards my action and towards the whole situation taken now. Ive been muting myself, ive been making a distance, ive been making an effort to heal myself without her noticing it.
But i know she is smart enough bcos we have been frens for more than 10 years. I know she feels me when im sobbing on my own. she always caught me crying when she is not suppose to call me that time. I believe god must have been nice to connect me with her in that way to make me smile and cheerful again.
I never want to question what i have done to her. Its very minimal to me The distant i made was to make her stronger n have more varieties of friend. With her i have grown my social networks, acquaintance, and good personal skills basically on self confidence.
She without fails always want me to look up myself high even we have differences in so many ways. Agree i cant find that quality in other friends. I cant elaborate more on that.
What makes me wanted to talk about this was because of my question last night. My last week conversation with her was highlighted in my centre of attention. Some one asked her that we have been friends for very long. Is there any chances of us liking the same person at the same time????
With that question i post her sms of her well being and when is her coming back from Swiss. Her answer continue after one another and the peak was "yes i like him bcause " "please refer next sms". From there i see her eyes glittering with joy, her heart jingling with music, flowers is blooming everywhere.
We were talking during the whole journey to KLIA about the same person. About her dinner, about the things they talked about. About how different he could be from some of them.
Perhaps when it comes to men subject we are very much sceptical about it. Why?????
From the sms ive gathered many things. After alarming my thoughts and view the danger of liking a same person. I told myself to back off. I myself dont understand why i am eargerly interested to know about the same person. When she told me that they are taking her to an occasion n taking me along, i straight away says yes. While she stil cant believe why i said yes n keep on repeating that i would back off last minute n etc.
I explained her some short n simple thoughts i have "nak keluar dengan org pun must kena dgn insticnt" Yeah, i dont simply accepted anyone invitation. Yes, im not choosy but the person must have some criteria and attention that create my temptation and i allow myself to know off. Personal trait i should say.
Now changing the interest to be more of a friend would be the best action i could do. By letting him know yesterday what makes me accepted the invitation was the first bold move ive ever done.
Yes, im known to be a bitter sweet person with thousand and one character. When other people are down n wanting others to help, I would rather be alone driving in a long drive, be on the beach letting the breeze slapping my face and blasting loud music to heal the pain im going through.
Why am i sceptical towards men, why am i bitter to any invitation of coffee tea or me issue. All the pain that i have are answerable to her. While no man can understand what woman want, there she is to sooth n calm one heart that shattered into pieces.
Now im hoping he can make her smile again while she is guarding her heart and he will make her mellow on the terms of accepting one man as and individual with their own specialities.
Yes, i do believe in that.
He has a blurry kind face that you cant predict what he is thinking but in writing a long message I already know that this person is passionate in what he is doing. (perhaps im wrong yeah) But its too early to comment further. I just want him to know he does catch my attention to know more of him, to understand his kind of manly behaviour and to be of his friend if i may have the chance.
But to my dearest friend i cant forgo more than i should have. I am thankful for the opportunity of this test and im thankful for i can accept it openly from the bottom of my heart. Yes, i want her to feel the happiness of having someone to understand her attitude, thinking and respecting her for who she is as a person.
Of all the girlfriends i have, no matter how hurt sometime her words slicing me, but she is still the nicest person i ever have in life. No, she does not know how much i appreciated her although she feels i neglected her when i was quiet in my space zone.
I never does that, she was never far away from my thoughts, its just that i want to heal the hurt i have towards her. No one understood what i have for her although i talked abt her sometime. Its hurting to know im not a good friend who doesnt know how to look after a nicest friend.
====================================================================
On the personal self of mine, the walls n barrier that i created in my heart before are hacken down for awhile but suddenly it grows up again all of a sudden after the recent commotion at home. Yes i was down, yes i was hurt but one thing i am happy although it hurted so much that ive seen mother love finally flowing.
How much can a single parent hold on to community social issue. Knowing me going early morning and come back at night, how much time would i have for my children, friends, family and others? What about myself??? Yes, malays are very sceptical but why dont they think first before they talked about it, think about and act on itt?
Anyway, i still lead my life as usual. Yes, i managed to hide all the feelings deep inside me. I managed to burried every hurts ive carry for the sake of my children. i want them to know, i want mom to know, the reason i lived today was my kids, was her, was my dad as long as i can still walk with pride and dignity.
Yes, ive done mistake in life, yes, ive neglected myself, yes, ive neglected my feeling and now i want to live being happy on only what i think after i thought of it, after i share it with certain people that i want to and people that i value.
Love please dont leave me just as yet. I still need you love to love my kids, my family, my friends and my passion...
God help me
Amin
Before that she send me a long email which invite my tears again of what she feels towards me, towards my action and towards the whole situation taken now. Ive been muting myself, ive been making a distance, ive been making an effort to heal myself without her noticing it.
But i know she is smart enough bcos we have been frens for more than 10 years. I know she feels me when im sobbing on my own. she always caught me crying when she is not suppose to call me that time. I believe god must have been nice to connect me with her in that way to make me smile and cheerful again.
I never want to question what i have done to her. Its very minimal to me The distant i made was to make her stronger n have more varieties of friend. With her i have grown my social networks, acquaintance, and good personal skills basically on self confidence.
She without fails always want me to look up myself high even we have differences in so many ways. Agree i cant find that quality in other friends. I cant elaborate more on that.
What makes me wanted to talk about this was because of my question last night. My last week conversation with her was highlighted in my centre of attention. Some one asked her that we have been friends for very long. Is there any chances of us liking the same person at the same time????
With that question i post her sms of her well being and when is her coming back from Swiss. Her answer continue after one another and the peak was "yes i like him bcause " "please refer next sms". From there i see her eyes glittering with joy, her heart jingling with music, flowers is blooming everywhere.
We were talking during the whole journey to KLIA about the same person. About her dinner, about the things they talked about. About how different he could be from some of them.
Perhaps when it comes to men subject we are very much sceptical about it. Why?????
From the sms ive gathered many things. After alarming my thoughts and view the danger of liking a same person. I told myself to back off. I myself dont understand why i am eargerly interested to know about the same person. When she told me that they are taking her to an occasion n taking me along, i straight away says yes. While she stil cant believe why i said yes n keep on repeating that i would back off last minute n etc.
I explained her some short n simple thoughts i have "nak keluar dengan org pun must kena dgn insticnt" Yeah, i dont simply accepted anyone invitation. Yes, im not choosy but the person must have some criteria and attention that create my temptation and i allow myself to know off. Personal trait i should say.
Now changing the interest to be more of a friend would be the best action i could do. By letting him know yesterday what makes me accepted the invitation was the first bold move ive ever done.
Yes, im known to be a bitter sweet person with thousand and one character. When other people are down n wanting others to help, I would rather be alone driving in a long drive, be on the beach letting the breeze slapping my face and blasting loud music to heal the pain im going through.
Why am i sceptical towards men, why am i bitter to any invitation of coffee tea or me issue. All the pain that i have are answerable to her. While no man can understand what woman want, there she is to sooth n calm one heart that shattered into pieces.
Now im hoping he can make her smile again while she is guarding her heart and he will make her mellow on the terms of accepting one man as and individual with their own specialities.
Yes, i do believe in that.
He has a blurry kind face that you cant predict what he is thinking but in writing a long message I already know that this person is passionate in what he is doing. (perhaps im wrong yeah) But its too early to comment further. I just want him to know he does catch my attention to know more of him, to understand his kind of manly behaviour and to be of his friend if i may have the chance.
But to my dearest friend i cant forgo more than i should have. I am thankful for the opportunity of this test and im thankful for i can accept it openly from the bottom of my heart. Yes, i want her to feel the happiness of having someone to understand her attitude, thinking and respecting her for who she is as a person.
Of all the girlfriends i have, no matter how hurt sometime her words slicing me, but she is still the nicest person i ever have in life. No, she does not know how much i appreciated her although she feels i neglected her when i was quiet in my space zone.
I never does that, she was never far away from my thoughts, its just that i want to heal the hurt i have towards her. No one understood what i have for her although i talked abt her sometime. Its hurting to know im not a good friend who doesnt know how to look after a nicest friend.
====================================================================
On the personal self of mine, the walls n barrier that i created in my heart before are hacken down for awhile but suddenly it grows up again all of a sudden after the recent commotion at home. Yes i was down, yes i was hurt but one thing i am happy although it hurted so much that ive seen mother love finally flowing.
How much can a single parent hold on to community social issue. Knowing me going early morning and come back at night, how much time would i have for my children, friends, family and others? What about myself??? Yes, malays are very sceptical but why dont they think first before they talked about it, think about and act on itt?
Anyway, i still lead my life as usual. Yes, i managed to hide all the feelings deep inside me. I managed to burried every hurts ive carry for the sake of my children. i want them to know, i want mom to know, the reason i lived today was my kids, was her, was my dad as long as i can still walk with pride and dignity.
Yes, ive done mistake in life, yes, ive neglected myself, yes, ive neglected my feeling and now i want to live being happy on only what i think after i thought of it, after i share it with certain people that i want to and people that i value.
Love please dont leave me just as yet. I still need you love to love my kids, my family, my friends and my passion...
God help me
Amin
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