When a guy is missing from your life can that change your life???
Courage and patient is the best key!!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Morning Thoughts
Our senior research executive tendered her resignation early this month. The research executive planning to do her master in the next one two months.
We will be short of people again. But then since the management are not looking into the staff benefits how could the staff look into the management views.
Thats on careerwise. Next year ill be back to square one managing everything. But one thing clear I will not any longer nodded my head all the time should i want better justification.
Lets just see
We will be short of people again. But then since the management are not looking into the staff benefits how could the staff look into the management views.
Thats on careerwise. Next year ill be back to square one managing everything. But one thing clear I will not any longer nodded my head all the time should i want better justification.
Lets just see
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Knowing your Personality
"The key quality of this scientific assessment is that it is objective.
Friends, and we ourselves, often have a wrong perception of our own personality - our perception is confused by the roles we have to play and expectations we need to meet.
Friends, and we ourselves, often have a wrong perception of our own personality - our perception is confused by the roles we have to play and expectations we need to meet.
Controlling birth
Health Sunday September 16, 2007
By Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
The Pill: what you need to know.
THE conception of a new life is a wonderful blessing. And thanks to scientific advances, women are now in control of when they conceive, so that the arrival of a baby comes at the right time in their lives.
I always stress the importance of using proper birth control methods to prevent unplanned pregnancies. One of the most common and easy-to-use methods of contraception is the birth control pill.
Although it is usually referred to as the Pill, there are actually many different types to suit women’s different needs.
What’s in the Pill?
If you have never taken birth control pills before, you may be unsure about what it is or how it works.
It is actually very simple: the Pill contains synthetic hormones that prevent the release of eggs from your ovaries. As sperm is unable to meet with the egg to fertilise it, you will not conceive.
There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills.There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills. Combination pills contain two types of hormones, which are oestrogen and progestin. Different brands of combination pills usually contain different types of progestin, but the same type of oestrogen.
Different brands also contain varying doses of the hormones. Discuss with your doctor or gynaecologist as to which is the most suitable pill for your cycle or needs.
There are some side-effects of taking birth control pills, but they are not serious and will go away on their own. They include mood changes, breast tenderness, sickness or vomiting, headaches, occasional water retention, and irregular vaginal bleeding.
Taking the Pill
You need to take the Pill every day for a cycle of 21 days. Then, there is a seven-day break in between cycles where you do not take the pill and you experience normal menstruation. Some pills are taken for 28 days straight, but during seven of those days, you take placebo pills instead.
It is important to take the pills at the same time every day, and without skipping any day in between. Ask your doctor what to do if you accidentally miss a day, as you are bound to forget once or twice!
Even though the Pill acts as birth control, it does not protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). You can only prevent against these STDs by using condoms during intercourse.
When you should not take the Pill
Birth control pills are perfectly safe for most women. However, under rare circumstances, some women may have pre-existing conditions that make the Pill unsafe for them.
If you have a family history of venous thrombosis or pulmonary embolism, you may be at risk of developing blood clots. You should not take birth control pills because the hormones in the pill further increase your risk of getting blood clots in your legs or in your lungs.
However, if you do not have a family history of developing blood clots, then you do not need to worry.
Another concern is for women who smoke. As it is, smoking already increases your risk of having a stroke; but if you are over 35 and a smoker, then taking the Pill at the same time will lead to an even greater chance of a stroke.
I urge all women to stop smoking, of course, but particularly if you intend to start taking birth control pills.
This is why it’s important to get medical advice before starting on birth control pills, so that your gynaecologist can check out your medical history and health status.
Myths about the Pill
Some women are worried about the safety of birth control pills because they contain hormones. There are a few myths out there about the dangers of the Pill – but here are the real facts:
The Pill makes you gain weight
A lot of women worry about this, and I don’t blame them! But there is no scientific evidence to show that birth control pills cause weight gain. What may happen is that the hormones in the Pill cause water retention in your breasts, hips and thighs, causing a feeling of bloatedness. However, you are not gaining fat.
The Pill causes cancer
This is not true. But you’re probably worried about taking any form of hormones because some people say that oestrogen replacement treatment for post-menopause is linked to breast cancer. That’s a topic for another day, but for now, rest assured that the oestrogen in birth control pills are not linked to breast cancer.
In fact, combination birth control pills may even prevent cancers of the ovary and uterus. For instance, the Pill can reduce your lifetime risk of ovarian cancer by about 50%.
The Pill causes birth defects
Lots of women have accidentally taken birth control pills during the early part of their pregnancy because they were unaware that they were pregnant. However, this has not been shown to cause birth defects. But we still advise women not to take the Pill if they are, or suspect that they are pregnant.
You should take a break from the Pill every once in a while
No, you don’t have to. A woman can be on the Pill for more than 15 straight years without any known increased risk. There is no extra benefit in stopping the Pill for a “break” – in fact, there is only the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
You shouldn’t take birth control pills if you’re over 40
You can continue to take birth control pills until you reach menopause. However, there are some conditions: you should be healthy, have normal blood pressure, not be at increased risk of heart attack or stroke, and be on the low-dose pills.
The Pill causes infertility
This is untrue. In fact, you will find that you can conceive as soon as you stop taking the Pill.
The final myth is that the Pill is bad for your health in general. But why would your gynaecologist prescribe you a pill that is harmful for you? Birth control pills are a smart and safe way to practise family planning.
They also have some added health benefits, such as reducing the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers, ovarian cysts, acne, excess facial and body hair, regulating menstrual flow and reducing menstrual cramps.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
By Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
The Pill: what you need to know.
THE conception of a new life is a wonderful blessing. And thanks to scientific advances, women are now in control of when they conceive, so that the arrival of a baby comes at the right time in their lives.
I always stress the importance of using proper birth control methods to prevent unplanned pregnancies. One of the most common and easy-to-use methods of contraception is the birth control pill.
Although it is usually referred to as the Pill, there are actually many different types to suit women’s different needs.
What’s in the Pill?
If you have never taken birth control pills before, you may be unsure about what it is or how it works.
It is actually very simple: the Pill contains synthetic hormones that prevent the release of eggs from your ovaries. As sperm is unable to meet with the egg to fertilise it, you will not conceive.
There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills.There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills. Combination pills contain two types of hormones, which are oestrogen and progestin. Different brands of combination pills usually contain different types of progestin, but the same type of oestrogen.
Different brands also contain varying doses of the hormones. Discuss with your doctor or gynaecologist as to which is the most suitable pill for your cycle or needs.
There are some side-effects of taking birth control pills, but they are not serious and will go away on their own. They include mood changes, breast tenderness, sickness or vomiting, headaches, occasional water retention, and irregular vaginal bleeding.
Taking the Pill
You need to take the Pill every day for a cycle of 21 days. Then, there is a seven-day break in between cycles where you do not take the pill and you experience normal menstruation. Some pills are taken for 28 days straight, but during seven of those days, you take placebo pills instead.
It is important to take the pills at the same time every day, and without skipping any day in between. Ask your doctor what to do if you accidentally miss a day, as you are bound to forget once or twice!
Even though the Pill acts as birth control, it does not protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). You can only prevent against these STDs by using condoms during intercourse.
When you should not take the Pill
Birth control pills are perfectly safe for most women. However, under rare circumstances, some women may have pre-existing conditions that make the Pill unsafe for them.
If you have a family history of venous thrombosis or pulmonary embolism, you may be at risk of developing blood clots. You should not take birth control pills because the hormones in the pill further increase your risk of getting blood clots in your legs or in your lungs.
However, if you do not have a family history of developing blood clots, then you do not need to worry.
Another concern is for women who smoke. As it is, smoking already increases your risk of having a stroke; but if you are over 35 and a smoker, then taking the Pill at the same time will lead to an even greater chance of a stroke.
I urge all women to stop smoking, of course, but particularly if you intend to start taking birth control pills.
This is why it’s important to get medical advice before starting on birth control pills, so that your gynaecologist can check out your medical history and health status.
Myths about the Pill
Some women are worried about the safety of birth control pills because they contain hormones. There are a few myths out there about the dangers of the Pill – but here are the real facts:
The Pill makes you gain weight
A lot of women worry about this, and I don’t blame them! But there is no scientific evidence to show that birth control pills cause weight gain. What may happen is that the hormones in the Pill cause water retention in your breasts, hips and thighs, causing a feeling of bloatedness. However, you are not gaining fat.
The Pill causes cancer
This is not true. But you’re probably worried about taking any form of hormones because some people say that oestrogen replacement treatment for post-menopause is linked to breast cancer. That’s a topic for another day, but for now, rest assured that the oestrogen in birth control pills are not linked to breast cancer.
In fact, combination birth control pills may even prevent cancers of the ovary and uterus. For instance, the Pill can reduce your lifetime risk of ovarian cancer by about 50%.
The Pill causes birth defects
Lots of women have accidentally taken birth control pills during the early part of their pregnancy because they were unaware that they were pregnant. However, this has not been shown to cause birth defects. But we still advise women not to take the Pill if they are, or suspect that they are pregnant.
You should take a break from the Pill every once in a while
No, you don’t have to. A woman can be on the Pill for more than 15 straight years without any known increased risk. There is no extra benefit in stopping the Pill for a “break” – in fact, there is only the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
You shouldn’t take birth control pills if you’re over 40
You can continue to take birth control pills until you reach menopause. However, there are some conditions: you should be healthy, have normal blood pressure, not be at increased risk of heart attack or stroke, and be on the low-dose pills.
The Pill causes infertility
This is untrue. In fact, you will find that you can conceive as soon as you stop taking the Pill.
The final myth is that the Pill is bad for your health in general. But why would your gynaecologist prescribe you a pill that is harmful for you? Birth control pills are a smart and safe way to practise family planning.
They also have some added health benefits, such as reducing the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers, ovarian cysts, acne, excess facial and body hair, regulating menstrual flow and reducing menstrual cramps.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Sex and Menopause
Sex and menopause
About post-menopausal sexual dysfunction.
EVEN the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.
Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.
“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.
Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.
Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.
“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.
Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.
Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.
“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.
Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.
“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.
“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.
Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.
To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.
She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’
Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.
The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.
While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.
“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.
This article is courtesy of Pfizer. For more information, log on to www.menshealth.com.my
About post-menopausal sexual dysfunction.
EVEN the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.
Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.
“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.
Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.
Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.
“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.
Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.
Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.
“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.
Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.
“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.
“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.
Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.
To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.
She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’
Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.
The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.
While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.
“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.
This article is courtesy of Pfizer. For more information, log on to www.menshealth.com.my
Golden Relationships
Very nice article found while looking for another article online ;)
Health
Sunday September 30, 2007
WOMEN'S WORLDBy Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
Getting older does not mean that you lose interest in sex.
CAN you believe that in the 18th and 19th century, people only lived to their 20s or 30s? Today, people in Malaysia can expect to live up to at least 70, and many even live up to the ripe old age of 80 or 90!
Now that we are living longer, there are many aspects of our lives that we want to maintain in the golden years.
We want to continue to be healthy, fit, independent and alert so that we can look forward to the years ahead, rather than dread them.
First, let’s get rid of the myth that older people can’t have a sex life. Whoever said that only younger people enjoy sex? You can lose your hair and some parts of your body may start drooping, but you will never lose the need for affection, intimacy and emotional closeness.
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved. – AP
It’s not easy for the older generation to accept this. If you’re a baby boomer, you would have grown up in an era where female sexual desire was never discussed. And to talk about sex in your old age?why, that’s just scandalous!
In this article, I hope to overcome these taboos and help women realise that sex can be just as good, if not better, in the golden years.
Where have all the hormones gone?
If you feel that growing older has made you lose interest in sex, you’re not alone. About 40% of women report a drop in desire during menopause, and say that they have fewer sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires, and are not as receptive to sexual activity.
There’s no denying that a woman’s body changes as she ages. After menopause, the female sex hormones, oestrogen and progesterone, will drop and cause some physical changes that affect sexual intercourse.
It will take longer for your vagina to swell and lubricate when you’re sexually aroused. This can make intercourse less comfortable or even painful.
You might also feel a burning sensation during vaginal penetration or discover vaginal bleeding afterward.
The reduction in sex hormones will also cause less blood to flow to the clitoris and the genitals to become less sensitive.
After menopause, your body will also produce less testosterone (yes, women have some testosterone in their bodies too), and this leads to a lower sex drive. Sometimes, it’s the menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, insomnia and mood swings that interfere with the sex drive.
But it’s not just about the hormones. For most women, sexual desire doesn’t necessarily begin with a desire for sex. What women want is intimacy and closeness with the person they love, which then leads to sexual desire.
At this age, you may also be facing some medical problems like a chronic disease, chronic pain, surgery or an illness that causes fatigue. All these, while not affecting your sex drive directly, can make you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind.
You may also be taking medications that interfere with sexual function.
Some high blood pressure medications reduce desire and vaginal lubrication in women, while some antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs can affect sexual function.
These medications are very important for you, but you can talk to your doctor about how they are affecting your sexual function, and how you can minimise those effects.
But I’m wrinkly and saggy ...
The biggest stumbling block to regaining your sexual desire is your mind. You’re probably thinking about how much less attractive or energetic you are, or how you may not be as good in bed anymore. All this worrying can trigger a lack of desire and make it a lot harder for you to become aroused.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, think about the fact that your partner is just as grey, wrinkly and saggy as you are (or will be one day)! What’s more important than the physical aspects is the life experiences that you have both shared over the years.
And don’t forget that men can be just as insecure as women – your partner may be having these fears about himself as well, so you have to reassure him that you still find him sexually attractive.
What can be done to treat it?
Does medical science have any answers to improve sexual desire for older women? There are some therapies available, for instance water-based lubricants (such as K-Y jelly) can make sex less painful or uncomfortable.
Hormone therapy for menopause may help to improve symptoms of hot flushes and vaginal dryness, thus improving sexual desire.
Sometimes, all it takes is some longer foreplay to stimulate your natural lubrication – and you have all the time in the world now without kids or work to worry about!
Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about this problem. Your family doctor or a sex therapist can offer advice about your relationship as well as new sexual techniques to try.
Most importantly, you and your partner need to talk to each other. He needs to understand the physical and psychological changes that you’re going through, and you need to understand him as well.
Together, you can decide how to regain your sex live without causing each other pain or discomfort.
The best time to be together
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved.
As you get older, there’s no longer the need to worry about careers, children, household duties and contraception! And even if you do not have intercourse, you can still be intimate with each other by hugging, holding hands, giving massages, and foot rubs.
Sex shouldn’t be taboo for older people – it is a gift to be enjoyed between you and your loved one.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Health
Sunday September 30, 2007
WOMEN'S WORLDBy Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
Getting older does not mean that you lose interest in sex.
CAN you believe that in the 18th and 19th century, people only lived to their 20s or 30s? Today, people in Malaysia can expect to live up to at least 70, and many even live up to the ripe old age of 80 or 90!
Now that we are living longer, there are many aspects of our lives that we want to maintain in the golden years.
We want to continue to be healthy, fit, independent and alert so that we can look forward to the years ahead, rather than dread them.
First, let’s get rid of the myth that older people can’t have a sex life. Whoever said that only younger people enjoy sex? You can lose your hair and some parts of your body may start drooping, but you will never lose the need for affection, intimacy and emotional closeness.
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved. – AP
It’s not easy for the older generation to accept this. If you’re a baby boomer, you would have grown up in an era where female sexual desire was never discussed. And to talk about sex in your old age?why, that’s just scandalous!
In this article, I hope to overcome these taboos and help women realise that sex can be just as good, if not better, in the golden years.
Where have all the hormones gone?
If you feel that growing older has made you lose interest in sex, you’re not alone. About 40% of women report a drop in desire during menopause, and say that they have fewer sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires, and are not as receptive to sexual activity.
There’s no denying that a woman’s body changes as she ages. After menopause, the female sex hormones, oestrogen and progesterone, will drop and cause some physical changes that affect sexual intercourse.
It will take longer for your vagina to swell and lubricate when you’re sexually aroused. This can make intercourse less comfortable or even painful.
You might also feel a burning sensation during vaginal penetration or discover vaginal bleeding afterward.
The reduction in sex hormones will also cause less blood to flow to the clitoris and the genitals to become less sensitive.
After menopause, your body will also produce less testosterone (yes, women have some testosterone in their bodies too), and this leads to a lower sex drive. Sometimes, it’s the menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, insomnia and mood swings that interfere with the sex drive.
But it’s not just about the hormones. For most women, sexual desire doesn’t necessarily begin with a desire for sex. What women want is intimacy and closeness with the person they love, which then leads to sexual desire.
At this age, you may also be facing some medical problems like a chronic disease, chronic pain, surgery or an illness that causes fatigue. All these, while not affecting your sex drive directly, can make you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind.
You may also be taking medications that interfere with sexual function.
Some high blood pressure medications reduce desire and vaginal lubrication in women, while some antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs can affect sexual function.
These medications are very important for you, but you can talk to your doctor about how they are affecting your sexual function, and how you can minimise those effects.
But I’m wrinkly and saggy ...
The biggest stumbling block to regaining your sexual desire is your mind. You’re probably thinking about how much less attractive or energetic you are, or how you may not be as good in bed anymore. All this worrying can trigger a lack of desire and make it a lot harder for you to become aroused.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, think about the fact that your partner is just as grey, wrinkly and saggy as you are (or will be one day)! What’s more important than the physical aspects is the life experiences that you have both shared over the years.
And don’t forget that men can be just as insecure as women – your partner may be having these fears about himself as well, so you have to reassure him that you still find him sexually attractive.
What can be done to treat it?
Does medical science have any answers to improve sexual desire for older women? There are some therapies available, for instance water-based lubricants (such as K-Y jelly) can make sex less painful or uncomfortable.
Hormone therapy for menopause may help to improve symptoms of hot flushes and vaginal dryness, thus improving sexual desire.
Sometimes, all it takes is some longer foreplay to stimulate your natural lubrication – and you have all the time in the world now without kids or work to worry about!
Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about this problem. Your family doctor or a sex therapist can offer advice about your relationship as well as new sexual techniques to try.
Most importantly, you and your partner need to talk to each other. He needs to understand the physical and psychological changes that you’re going through, and you need to understand him as well.
Together, you can decide how to regain your sex live without causing each other pain or discomfort.
The best time to be together
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved.
As you get older, there’s no longer the need to worry about careers, children, household duties and contraception! And even if you do not have intercourse, you can still be intimate with each other by hugging, holding hands, giving massages, and foot rubs.
Sex shouldn’t be taboo for older people – it is a gift to be enjoyed between you and your loved one.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Dilemma-2007
I heard about May Leong death today thru email sent by my fren. Its hurting while life are focus just to one thing. Money are not everything. It has to be balanced.
To think of that I just had an argument about it last night. I was nearly asleep when the phone call came. Its past midnight. I am too sensitive lately? Or was I thinking about it so much?
I am confused still. For him to prove and for me to evaluate the whole situation. The more i think of it the more its hurting me inside out and im not ready to face the truth. Although i want it happen but i cannot bear to think that i caused the whole situation into such action.
I dont have much time and i still cant decide what i want.
'N' words this morning hurt my head hard. Hammering is not my style and getting it naturally is what i want. Fate is what he said. Another testament before we could make it happen. But when?
To think of that I just had an argument about it last night. I was nearly asleep when the phone call came. Its past midnight. I am too sensitive lately? Or was I thinking about it so much?
I am confused still. For him to prove and for me to evaluate the whole situation. The more i think of it the more its hurting me inside out and im not ready to face the truth. Although i want it happen but i cannot bear to think that i caused the whole situation into such action.
I dont have much time and i still cant decide what i want.
'N' words this morning hurt my head hard. Hammering is not my style and getting it naturally is what i want. Fate is what he said. Another testament before we could make it happen. But when?
Friday, November 23, 2007
Value of Relationship
She has taken so much $$$$ from him and now he has to bear the cost of installment to the bank owed. Thats the price of his relationship with third woman. She used him to get all she wants. Personal, families, future, share, investments, business and then washed HER hand and left the dirt to be washed by his wife.
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Silap
I found this statement in my bloggers page.
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Rahsia
Everyone has their own set of secret that can be shared and not.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
My Klang girlfriend called me and blurted her wonder, her dissapointment of her son achievement over his 4As. At the end of the conversation she accused me that i dont understand her situation, her question, her amazement towards what she wants from god was just to grant her son achievement in the UPSR and not her life, her happiness and wellbeing.
I am upset for not being able to convinced her that is still a small testament HE is giving before she gave her TOTAL happiness, achievement and also fulfilling life later. At the end we both cry together.
It is hard to advice when one has already has her set of mind a failure in life all along. I was sad for she cant except the way to look at her own future, her own goal and set of life. She keep on looking at her past as a path to look for tomorrow.
Once, I was there who not able to see lights in the future because I set it to be gloomy, cloudy and hazy. But I beat the feeling by asking question after question to myself, over my performance, over what have I done to myself, community, life or HIM. Once I get the answer, once I know it was not in my hand, once I know I have not had an answer for it, I pass it back to HIM. Let HIM organise, let HIM lead, let HIM decide for me. If it is not for now, it may be for tomorrow or even maybe it was not destine for me.
Now I have things more clearly and I lead my life one at the time. Thanks to friends who have not given up to be there, who has been nice and always had the strong motivation words to give everytime I need it. Now I am more focus of what I want, where I go, whom I should be with, which one I shoud prioritise with and why am I still here for everything.
Alhamdullillah thank god for the lights and patience to make me understand the predicament is only temporary.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Lovely Piece
Look at this piece which amaze me. It was take by our Malaysian astronaut. The uniqueness of HIS creation which add the reason to believe that HE is the ALMIGHTY and the creator of all. The beauty lies not just int he piece of land its also in the piece of mind and its undescribeable.
Blue and white entice me so much on top of the world while Green n brown bring me down to earth. Two separate tonnation, two separate kinds unseparable. Day and nights it bring its own beauty n life.
Keeping this picture will always remind me of HIM. Somewhere that i never go, never even comes to mind how does it looks. With our astronaut the miracle was delivered in a form of picture which can be seen by everyone of us.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Nikmat Illahi
Semakin meningkat umur semakin membuatkan aku cekal dan tabah. Jika dulu aku sering memikirkan sesuatu terlalu mendalam dengan mengambil kira semua angle sekarang aku masih tetapi tidak lagi kalut jika ianya tidak hadir pada waktu itu. Aku hanya akan mengendalikannya jika waktu itu perlu ditangani ketika itu.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Jumbo Sale
My fren is migrating so she needs to sell of her items:
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Monday, October 29, 2007
D' Datins Club Gatherings
I was invited for her daughter birthday party. There is many people including Chinese and Indian, not forgetting singles and married. As a friend i came bringing all four plus my mom to accompany me because she wanted to meet her during raya and she wasnt in town.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Pengertian
The call received on Wednesday afternoon was a shocked but since he was the one to tell me the news when he is better.
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The beauty of words in the unfold life experience
Glad that people notice the eagerness, greediness and selfishness in them. I am always agree to that. As human we can run away from that feelings. The needs in us sometimes put away our sensibility and the building of the needs and wanting kills the good sense of ownself.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Aku atau Dia....
The facts that we are the same.Yang mungkin membezakan itu cuma karektor, attitude and behaviour.
My classmate call me out of nowhere with a tales story of a man. About him marrying 22 years old girl. About meeting her in 5 months and be able to buy her a house, giving her business, expensive watches, handbags, outfits etc. With my calm tone i told her to be patience and seek for HIS blessings and mercy for guidance and help. He cant leave his fellow asking without an answer and help her in her difficulties.
I have known her for over 20 years. She was my classmate, my collegemate, and my clubbing mate during our teen age. We live nearby, we date together, we share our stories, we share our plate and lots of other things too. I know him, I know her 1st boyfriend, i know her previous boyfriend and i know who she married too. Since she got married she become introvert. I hear from her once a while, i call her for rumah terbuka and some other occassion. I met her only once a while since then.
A month ago she traced me back and leave me an email that makes me curious about her life now. Since then she turned to me whenever she needs a friend to talk to. We become like the old teenage friend but this time being an advisor and lending an ear whenever she needs me.It happens around me all the time. If it is not my friend it is your friend or her friend friend's. Its too common. In her case I cant detect the lack of attention, love and passion like its always told by those men. He gets all he needs from a wife, a woman, a mother and also from a lover.
Man are just greedy at times, selfish when they can only see one side of the world. And I am the listener the observer taking all the inputs and download it in my box of heart computing and compiling it for the next chapter of life. I can just wish and make sure she will be better and be more patience of the obstacles. This is only one part. While other people face the worse like the case of Jurin.
Three of my daughters celebrate her birthdays few days ago and i am suppose to plan for break fasting outside one of this days. Sunday we are going to visit Rumah anak Yatim in Klang to share their experience with them.
My classmate call me out of nowhere with a tales story of a man. About him marrying 22 years old girl. About meeting her in 5 months and be able to buy her a house, giving her business, expensive watches, handbags, outfits etc. With my calm tone i told her to be patience and seek for HIS blessings and mercy for guidance and help. He cant leave his fellow asking without an answer and help her in her difficulties.
I have known her for over 20 years. She was my classmate, my collegemate, and my clubbing mate during our teen age. We live nearby, we date together, we share our stories, we share our plate and lots of other things too. I know him, I know her 1st boyfriend, i know her previous boyfriend and i know who she married too. Since she got married she become introvert. I hear from her once a while, i call her for rumah terbuka and some other occassion. I met her only once a while since then.
A month ago she traced me back and leave me an email that makes me curious about her life now. Since then she turned to me whenever she needs a friend to talk to. We become like the old teenage friend but this time being an advisor and lending an ear whenever she needs me.It happens around me all the time. If it is not my friend it is your friend or her friend friend's. Its too common. In her case I cant detect the lack of attention, love and passion like its always told by those men. He gets all he needs from a wife, a woman, a mother and also from a lover.
Man are just greedy at times, selfish when they can only see one side of the world. And I am the listener the observer taking all the inputs and download it in my box of heart computing and compiling it for the next chapter of life. I can just wish and make sure she will be better and be more patience of the obstacles. This is only one part. While other people face the worse like the case of Jurin.
Three of my daughters celebrate her birthdays few days ago and i am suppose to plan for break fasting outside one of this days. Sunday we are going to visit Rumah anak Yatim in Klang to share their experience with them.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Ramadhan
I want a change this year but yet to let it happen. I am blurred now and very unstable emotionally. Other than that its is sweet. Pressured was pinned on me n i know it was huge and a lot more on him. I am being ignored because he cant do 2 things at the same time. But being sensible at this time will kill the security feeling of someone. So let them fell shaken a little. I just hope HE keep my patience still and i dont have to walk away like i have been before.
To all my spacers who knows me alhamdullillah and thanks for the wishes and smses, Selamat menunaikan ibadah dan semuga Ramadhan membawa hidayah dan ukhuwah.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Selamat BerPuasa
Selamat Berpuasa to all my readers, blog hoppers and everyone who drops by.
Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak
Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sesuatu Yang Membuka Mata Hati
"oi aku nak minta maaf ni" I was blurr tetiba
"Arini malam nisfu syaaban, malam segala buku dosa diangkat allah kesana, marilah kita bermaafan." Hati ku dihiris dan dihimpit oleh kesedihan
Teman akan sentiasa ingat dan mengingatkan kita bila mana perlu.
Dan seorang lagi datang "lynna jangan lupa tadi mak aku call dia kata jangan lupa qiamulai malam ni" dan dia memandang tepat kemata aku "buat solat hajat minta apa yang you nak"
I wanted to cry but my heart are not allowing it. My eyes is watery but nothing comes out. I have series of arguments, i have been consoling, i have been tempting to burst but i become cool and compose all the mixture feelings in me to be compressed.
HE knows the best. Alhamdullillah he opened my eyes and soul tonite.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Pentas Hidup
After 3 years marriage will change slightly
After 5 years gap became bigger
After 7 years bridge may be a good outcome to connect each other
After 10 years something will come up
Of all the stages it includes silentness, arguments, heart feeling, pinpointing and the worst is infedility. Man turn to another woman and woman turn to another woman (mostly) but some will turn to another man
Women change mostly after the first baby appears. Thinking that little creature need their attention and neglecting the father are the biggest mistake. Women thought man can take care of their self. Knowing of the character of a man who is hard on the surface but actually more like a baby inside them.
Looking and searching always after a security, love, pamper, care, affections etc, that are the real man. Those who really knows how to play their role won't be feeling it badly because they have ways to mend the problem well. Knowing their woman are the best things they could do. And understanding why the changes took place are their credibility.
Note that im talking about a man who understand their woman enough. All men has ego, so do women.
But because nature of a women which is soft, lovable, emotional and feminine it makes them know where they are from and what are they heading. Mostly they are loyal although they are obsessed with the kids, family and some who has career. They put off their social life entirely just because they want full concentration of their family.
But still man are not enough of their woman who give 200% of their life to families. They need something to tickle they thoughts, their mind and feelings.
Some are just tickling without any emotional attention seeking. As they reach home the other half and family are their life. But at work calling and smsing are part of their routine life.
Some girls may be fine with the situation but for those single who are seeking for someone caring, understanding this are the right candidate and how that reflect those men?? (Sendiri cari pasal sendiri tanggung).
Back to the gaps that emerge after few years marriage, there is no reason for gaps actually. It’s the understanding needed between both. For the attention needed by the little ones as well as the big baby. Both has played good role in making the happy family.
Role of a father who has been out the whole day to bring bread home for families and role of a mother who may be working day time and rushed home to fulfilled the role as mother, wife and a lady to a man taking care of the whole welfare in making the marriage meaningful to her and him plus the kids should be taken seriously in making sure that both understand each duties.
But does this responsibilities make them needing each other more and better in terms of having each other to complete the beautiful life???
I know sometime things happen without we want it to be. Things just go out of ways unintentionally. Some would just do it because they want to fulfilled the eagerness of being needed some would just follow the flow without realizing they have gone so far.
Backtrack, think wisely will benefit both.
This reflectionary item will of course affects my decision.
Insecure and Inferior
But unfortunately the feels never dies as all of us human are created in a way to have the mixture sort.
One can do anything to reverse that feeling in them and make others have that miserable feeling but of course one who knows what they are wont feel the slight of it at all.
Lain Padang Lain Belalang
Nak Gelak Sikit
jo an: emmmm kalau pinggang girl 35...u agak di chubby takPlease urself: thats not my problem n not for me to answer i dont go n check ppl bmi???
Thats my answer. I can be cynical and i can be cunning but the truth is women will never ask the man if he wear pants size 40 would he look nice in it or not?? Theres is some women who will give a shit about bmi and how the man look but some will care less.
As for me Ive been with small, big, tall, thin, chubby, macho, handsome not to forget masculine guys to be friend with. What more important to me was who is he than how he looks.
Looks can be deceiving. Nice to see, but not nice to talk with. Nice to be with but speaks nonsense I turn around and leave.
Anyway thats how men look at women, judging from the way she looks, her BMI do entice them.
Anyway lain padang lain belalang!!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Measuring
When i don't agree to meet, was that a measure of arrogantness?
When im being expressive is that the best way to measure who am i or what am i?
When im being judge should i care what people think about me?
If my principle is being question would that make me less than a person?
If im in bad mood should i not laugh or smile at all to other people?
Im fine today it was just my mood swing on certain situation that doesnt make me happy today. Other than that, im fine. I was judged and critisize today the silly statement i made n that was accountable of who i am in their eyes. "Sigh"
Life and people are two different thing.
When im being expressive is that the best way to measure who am i or what am i?
When im being judge should i care what people think about me?
If my principle is being question would that make me less than a person?
If im in bad mood should i not laugh or smile at all to other people?
Im fine today it was just my mood swing on certain situation that doesnt make me happy today. Other than that, im fine. I was judged and critisize today the silly statement i made n that was accountable of who i am in their eyes. "Sigh"
Life and people are two different thing.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Expressive or Silent
However this topic occur my mind today.
Being expressive hardly attracts acceptance from people. But silent is a killing tools for communication.
Being expressive hardly attracts acceptance from people. But silent is a killing tools for communication.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Good & Bad abt Men & Woman
Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck wit
h others!Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they will still say that they never have something to wear!
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, you hardly care .
6. Although you hardly care, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Best and Memorable Holiday
I cant describe the feelings, the emotions when I step out from my house last Friday. On that very moment everything start with a good point and the laugh starts. Not because whom, but it was because im going to meet the people who had make my 39th birthday so wonderful and meaningful.
The minute we reach Puduraya I was told the bus had left on time!!! What the %^$&&&. It used to delayed on the last trip i had. But that doesnt make my mood turn sour nor turn off. Im still alive and get straight to the next bus and jump in. 4 hours later i reached Larkin and had jumped into a coach which is heading back to KL. I was lucky to have a good navigator n my mind raced back when they said it takes another 4 hours to reach the destination???
Shit!!!! Jumped down the bus n took transit and we are on the way to Woodlands. Phewww. 5 bus, if im not mistaken we had change buses 5 times that day. But it still give me good and lively mood plus laugh all the way to my hotel.
I have a great change of vision into this new area which is in the east of the lion city. Its full of Malays, the familiar faces i can say. Exhausted and taken a bath to refresh and gotten the whole new soul after. So what ever I've read on used for my research before i left was now being analysed fully.
And here i came to know, they are not many differences from our place here in KL. The taxi refuse to take us to some places, ignore us during peak period and shift changing time. They also break the rules, dont use pedestrian bridge to cross the road, still hanging clothes over the balcony. What different does that makes lol. We are human afterall, i mumble while smiling.
And the people who were in Orchard Road and all over the place makes me feels like vomiting. Only that, this time i manage to control my adrenaline system and not to make a scene and stroll along.
I had a chance to take picture and watch from far the full rehearsal of Singapore Merdeka day. Walking almost all the time and sit down when tired, watch people, assuming, mumbling, correlating and so on. All and all it was good. I had so much fun each day with different group. I had so much of memorable experience from Mediterenean food, habits and i got a chance to try Shisha once in my life time. And that was hell out of good experience to be in a place full of Ang Mo (Kwai Low) according to them. I love to observe them on how they inhale it, let the smoke lingers around shile sipping the wine, coke, brandy and so forth. Nothing so extreme to compare those here in Malaysia especially when seing our own people in that kind of place or when they are high. They are still tolerable, talking, laughing in manners. Nothing goes out of control. From lepakking in the street to private places and then back to room and continue the stories and by the time they are gone im already in cloud nine.
Thanks to Yati and Eza who brought me to nice place to eat to and share my walking ghost city story. It was never been so fun with Eza cracking fun story which remind me of R son. And I cant wait for them to pay me a visit next when they are around. And for Amoi who loves eating very much, I cant help myself repeating the WC all the time due to the hot stuff I ate on the last day we were there. Too hot to bear, lol.
I thank all of them to share and bring me all the joy and laughs as well as share my precious 39th birthday.
As i open the door of my house I was greet with love and hugs from my children and the birthday present makes me happier than I was. I was filled with love, affection and tenderness by all. I got a hug from mum for a very first time with a wish. That brings slight of tears but surprisingly does not rip me burst to tears like usual. I can feel her love now grows better that it was. All the sweet anticipation after a long patience has already makes me fulfilled with all that i want in life.
Thank god for all that he gave....
Thank you for all of you who had made this trip so enjoyable and fun altho the night safari, the bird park, the island was not visited like it's plan but making sure the next visit will emerged soon after this. It will again
cheerful 
The minute we reach Puduraya I was told the bus had left on time!!! What the %^$&&&. It used to delayed on the last trip i had. But that doesnt make my mood turn sour nor turn off. Im still alive and get straight to the next bus and jump in. 4 hours later i reached Larkin and had jumped into a coach which is heading back to KL. I was lucky to have a good navigator n my mind raced back when they said it takes another 4 hours to reach the destination???
Shit!!!! Jumped down the bus n took transit and we are on the way to Woodlands. Phewww. 5 bus, if im not mistaken we had change buses 5 times that day. But it still give me good and lively mood plus laugh all the way to my hotel.
I have a great change of vision into this new area which is in the east of the lion city. Its full of Malays, the familiar faces i can say. Exhausted and taken a bath to refresh and gotten the whole new soul after. So what ever I've read on used for my research before i left was now being analysed fully.
And here i came to know, they are not many differences from our place here in KL. The taxi refuse to take us to some places, ignore us during peak period and shift changing time. They also break the rules, dont use pedestrian bridge to cross the road, still hanging clothes over the balcony. What different does that makes lol. We are human afterall, i mumble while smiling.
And the people who were in Orchard Road and all over the place makes me feels like vomiting. Only that, this time i manage to control my adrenaline system and not to make a scene and stroll along.
I had a chance to take picture and watch from far the full rehearsal of Singapore Merdeka day. Walking almost all the time and sit down when tired, watch people, assuming, mumbling, correlating and so on. All and all it was good. I had so much fun each day with different group. I had so much of memorable experience from Mediterenean food, habits and i got a chance to try Shisha once in my life time. And that was hell out of good experience to be in a place full of Ang Mo (Kwai Low) according to them. I love to observe them on how they inhale it, let the smoke lingers around shile sipping the wine, coke, brandy and so forth. Nothing so extreme to compare those here in Malaysia especially when seing our own people in that kind of place or when they are high. They are still tolerable, talking, laughing in manners. Nothing goes out of control. From lepakking in the street to private places and then back to room and continue the stories and by the time they are gone im already in cloud nine.
Thanks to Yati and Eza who brought me to nice place to eat to and share my walking ghost city story. It was never been so fun with Eza cracking fun story which remind me of R son. And I cant wait for them to pay me a visit next when they are around. And for Amoi who loves eating very much, I cant help myself repeating the WC all the time due to the hot stuff I ate on the last day we were there. Too hot to bear, lol.
I thank all of them to share and bring me all the joy and laughs as well as share my precious 39th birthday.
As i open the door of my house I was greet with love and hugs from my children and the birthday present makes me happier than I was. I was filled with love, affection and tenderness by all. I got a hug from mum for a very first time with a wish. That brings slight of tears but surprisingly does not rip me burst to tears like usual. I can feel her love now grows better that it was. All the sweet anticipation after a long patience has already makes me fulfilled with all that i want in life.
Thank god for all that he gave....
Thank you for all of you who had made this trip so enjoyable and fun altho the night safari, the bird park, the island was not visited like it's plan but making sure the next visit will emerged soon after this. It will again
Truth Unfolds
It was a very memorable birthday trip and present i had this year. Beside a chain from my elder daughter 1 bangle from shira and another one from twin. I got Esprit watch from him and a pair of shoe.
Thank you i have more in my mind than in words here.
Thank you i have more in my mind than in words here.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Warna Warni - The Next Episode
Category: Blogging
It has been long since the last blog written. The drive and the passion are still there but i hardly find time to breathe in to slot in a time to write and let thing pour out here.
Finally after a long journey and the haul on the bumpy and jumpy road im now able to breathe in and out peacefully. Smiling letting the things go and flow naturally.
"Best man wins" my final word. The journey that I took have taken me to where I am now. Try harder and this time make sure you dont fail and hopefully i dont stumble but heheheheh the barrier is tougher and harder i guess. Why because i have found the passion in myself and surroundings. That all those around had make me better, tougher, calmer and peaceful.
On contrary side of yesterday. It sucks but i learn a lot of sweet things today. Hence, thanks to the tough people around who understand and able to hold my hand, who share the smile, who share the tears. I owe them, whoever they are.
Him, who has to struggle still to prove, take your time laaa. As i am going to enjoy my life on the 5th year track of being obnoxious, bubbly, happy the way i am with lots of sensibility. Of all the things happening I appreciate the friendship more than any relationship.
And the kids are better than yesterday. Understanding more of the needs of me being in the office to bring the bread home. But weekend are all theirs along with their commands and needs to be at home, parks, cinema, flying kites, picnics with home cooked meal. The time spent are precious than what i have been with individuals or company.
As of today there has been a few who tried to irritate me more and more but in the end had to back off. Are you pissed??? So do I, but I dont give up. Why because anticipation is sweet.
Yes, now i can confirmed that looks can be deceiving. A picture has invited many people and make many frusturated due to rejection. It was just a feel to expose who I am but again I think it was enough just to be behind a shadow of a farmgirl.
Using that nick for more or less seven years has bring a character, attitude, charm, warmth and personality of who am I. Often taken wild, raunchy but in all to me im like a crunchy, juicy apple who can be sour and sweet when you have tasted it. Or the red strawberry in ice cube. Inviting and melting. Maybe im too much imagining of those nice things naturally. But thats what i want, want i need, hope to be in all again able to provide sensibility and offer a hand of friendship just to anyone who understand.
A written invitation to be internet photomodel shocked me. I cant find the reason why to it but no thanks. Pictures of me can only be taken only me. How i took this picture? Thanks to my L6 Motorola and Nokia to fine tune with my moods and emotions. Crabs yeah always have 1001 mood swings but i know those who tackle me wisely always win the card of bringing my smile and good angle. Passionate and loving thats what they should have.
Tebrau, Im coming to visit you soon on my last birthday of being a mature adults, female, lady and mother.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Woman, Mother, Lady, Lover
From a friend email
A woman is often measured by the things she can't control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat, or round or straight. She is measured by 36 - 24- 36 & inches & ages & nos, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is in the inside.
And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. And statistics LIE!
A woman is often measured by the things she can't control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat, or round or straight. She is measured by 36 - 24- 36 & inches & ages & nos, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is in the inside.
And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. And statistics LIE!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Achievement
Achievement Lama tak bercakap tentang diri....terasa rindu pula untuk menulis...
On my children side that something I love to pen down.
Shira has been released from her sport camp 2 weeks ago. Achieving one gold medal for 4x100 and bronze for 4x200 representing for WP in MSSM held from 9 -12th May. In conjunction with her birthday that was the biggest prize for her beside being 3 years in a row holding best athletes title in S.R.J.KC. Lai Meng.
And the biggest even will be end of this month for her third time Khatam Quran. There will be a small ceromony held to celebrate the event. She and her older sister will be having the same occassion on 2nd June and hopefully the twins will follow by end of this year. God willing.
My father in law passed away last Saturday at 5.45pm pm leaving 7 childrens, 26 grand childrens and 6 great grand childrens. His extensive big families really brings the joy in his life and throughout his journey on board. He was left alone by dear wife 10 years ago keeping himself surviving and having the fond memories of her in his chest and mind.
The last I saw him was about a month ago before I left to Bandung. I was lucky to have met him and still remember who am I when I last visited him. Semuga rohnya dirahmati dan ditempatkan disisi mereka yang beriman dan taqwa. Amin.
On the otherside this morning upon entering his car, his eyes lingered from top to toe, touching my skirt, gazing and looking again and again. Complimenting the attire I'm wearing today. That was not just that. The strange acting was from yesterday when I asked him many time what is it in his mind. Running away from questions was his specialities and jumping to next topics one to another. Out of sudden while driving he hugged me and that was really a surprise. And there after he sealed his mouth not talking anymore till I tickled him with killer questions. Today I think that I can summed up some of the stories into line after his court case. That will jeorpadise his time, his planning and next vision. The only thing he says before putting down the phone just now "please pray for me". God hears you and everyone.
So have faith....
On my children side that something I love to pen down.
Shira has been released from her sport camp 2 weeks ago. Achieving one gold medal for 4x100 and bronze for 4x200 representing for WP in MSSM held from 9 -12th May. In conjunction with her birthday that was the biggest prize for her beside being 3 years in a row holding best athletes title in S.R.J.KC. Lai Meng.
And the biggest even will be end of this month for her third time Khatam Quran. There will be a small ceromony held to celebrate the event. She and her older sister will be having the same occassion on 2nd June and hopefully the twins will follow by end of this year. God willing.
My father in law passed away last Saturday at 5.45pm pm leaving 7 childrens, 26 grand childrens and 6 great grand childrens. His extensive big families really brings the joy in his life and throughout his journey on board. He was left alone by dear wife 10 years ago keeping himself surviving and having the fond memories of her in his chest and mind.
The last I saw him was about a month ago before I left to Bandung. I was lucky to have met him and still remember who am I when I last visited him. Semuga rohnya dirahmati dan ditempatkan disisi mereka yang beriman dan taqwa. Amin.
On the otherside this morning upon entering his car, his eyes lingered from top to toe, touching my skirt, gazing and looking again and again. Complimenting the attire I'm wearing today. That was not just that. The strange acting was from yesterday when I asked him many time what is it in his mind. Running away from questions was his specialities and jumping to next topics one to another. Out of sudden while driving he hugged me and that was really a surprise. And there after he sealed his mouth not talking anymore till I tickled him with killer questions. Today I think that I can summed up some of the stories into line after his court case. That will jeorpadise his time, his planning and next vision. The only thing he says before putting down the phone just now "please pray for me". God hears you and everyone.
So have faith....
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Eternity
Priority is always yourself. Dont put anyone first except HIM the one who thinks of you all the time. Waiting for you to praise HIM, seek solace in HIM, find peace in HIM.
Never explain, who ever can understand you will take you as it is
"Dont deny your own needs and wants.
The only one who able to love and understand what you want is ONLY YOU"
"You choose to decide the best for you, be it yesterday, now or tomorrow.
Best choice leading the wiser you"
"We often make wrong judgement over people we love.
Let them love you more than you love them"
"Emotions leads to failure"
"Time wait for no one, enjoy life as it is, be thankful because what ever you've tasted makes you eager to have more"
Never explain, who ever can understand you will take you as it is
"Dont deny your own needs and wants.
The only one who able to love and understand what you want is ONLY YOU"
"You choose to decide the best for you, be it yesterday, now or tomorrow.
Best choice leading the wiser you"
"We often make wrong judgement over people we love.
Let them love you more than you love them"
"Emotions leads to failure"
"Time wait for no one, enjoy life as it is, be thankful because what ever you've tasted makes you eager to have more"
Friday, May 18, 2007
Ibu
ketika ibu saya berkunjung, ibu mengajak saya
untuk shopping bersamanya kerana dia
menginginkan sepasang kurung yg baru. Saya
sebenarnya tidak suka pergi membeli belah
bersama dengan orang lain, dan saya bukanlah
orang yang sabar, tetapi walaupun demikian
kami pergi juga ke pusat membeli belah tersebut.
Kami mengunjungi setiap butik yang
menyediakan pakaian wanita, dan ibu saya
mencuba sehelai demi sehelai pakaian dan
mengembalikan semuanya. Seiring hari yang
berlalu, saya mulai penat dan kelihatan jelas
riak2 kecewa di wajah ibu.
Akhirnya pada butik terakhir yang kami
kunjungi,
ibu saya mencuba satu baju kurung yang
cantik .
Dan kerana ketidaksabaran saya, maka untuk
kali ini saya ikut masuk dan berdiri bersama ibu
saya dalam fitting room, saya melihat bagaimana ibu
mencuba pakaian tersebut, dan dengan susah
mencuba untuk mengenakannya. Ternyata
tangan-tangannya sudah mulai dilumpuhkan oleh
penyakit radang sendi dan sebab itu dia tidak dapat
melakukannya, seketika ketidaksabaran saya
digantikan oleh suatu rasa kasihan yang dalam
kepadanya. Saya berbalik pergi dan cuba
menyembunyikan air mata yang keluar tanpa
saya sedari. Setelah saya mendapatkan ketenangan
lagi, saya kembali masuk ke fitting room untuk
membantu ibu mengenakan pakaiannya.
Pakaian ini begitu indah, dan ibu membelinya.
Shopping kami telah berakhir, tetapi kejadian
tersebut terukir dan tidak dapat dilupakan dari
ingatan . Sepanjang sisa hari itu, fikiran saya
tetap saja kembali pada saat berada di dalam
fitting room tersebut dan terbayang tangan ibu
saya yang sedang berusaha mengenakan
pakaiannya. Kedua tangan yang penuh dengan
kasih, yang pernah menyuapi, memandikan
saya, memakaikan baju, membelai dan memeluk
saya, dan terlebih dari semuanya, berdoa untuk saya,
sekarang tangan itu telah menyentuh hati saya
dengan cara yang paling berbekas dalam hati
saya. Kemudian pada malam harinya saya
pergi ke kamar ibu saya mengambil tangannya,
lantas menciumnya ... dan yang membuatnya terkejut,
saya memberitahunya bahwa bagi saya kedua
tangan tersebut adalah tangan yang paling
indah di dunia ini. Saya sangat bersyukur bahwa
Tuhan telah membuat saya dapat melihat dengan
sejelasnya, betapa bernilai dan berrharganya
kasih sayang yang penuh pengorbanan dari
seorang ibu.
Saya hanya dapat berdoa bahwa suatu hari
kelak tangan saya dan hati saya akan memiliki
keindahannya tersendiri. Dunia ini memiliki
banyak keajaiban, segala ciptaan Tuhan yang
begitu agung, tetapi tak satu pun yang dapat
menandingi keindahan tangan Ibu...
untuk shopping bersamanya kerana dia
menginginkan sepasang kurung yg baru. Saya
sebenarnya tidak suka pergi membeli belah
bersama dengan orang lain, dan saya bukanlah
orang yang sabar, tetapi walaupun demikian
kami pergi juga ke pusat membeli belah tersebut.
Kami mengunjungi setiap butik yang
menyediakan pakaian wanita, dan ibu saya
mencuba sehelai demi sehelai pakaian dan
mengembalikan semuanya. Seiring hari yang
berlalu, saya mulai penat dan kelihatan jelas
riak2 kecewa di wajah ibu.
Akhirnya pada butik terakhir yang kami
kunjungi,
ibu saya mencuba satu baju kurung yang
cantik .
Dan kerana ketidaksabaran saya, maka untuk
kali ini saya ikut masuk dan berdiri bersama ibu
saya dalam fitting room, saya melihat bagaimana ibu
mencuba pakaian tersebut, dan dengan susah
mencuba untuk mengenakannya. Ternyata
tangan-tangannya sudah mulai dilumpuhkan oleh
penyakit radang sendi dan sebab itu dia tidak dapat
melakukannya, seketika ketidaksabaran saya
digantikan oleh suatu rasa kasihan yang dalam
kepadanya. Saya berbalik pergi dan cuba
menyembunyikan air mata yang keluar tanpa
saya sedari. Setelah saya mendapatkan ketenangan
lagi, saya kembali masuk ke fitting room untuk
membantu ibu mengenakan pakaiannya.
Pakaian ini begitu indah, dan ibu membelinya.
Shopping kami telah berakhir, tetapi kejadian
tersebut terukir dan tidak dapat dilupakan dari
ingatan . Sepanjang sisa hari itu, fikiran saya
tetap saja kembali pada saat berada di dalam
fitting room tersebut dan terbayang tangan ibu
saya yang sedang berusaha mengenakan
pakaiannya. Kedua tangan yang penuh dengan
kasih, yang pernah menyuapi, memandikan
saya, memakaikan baju, membelai dan memeluk
saya, dan terlebih dari semuanya, berdoa untuk saya,
sekarang tangan itu telah menyentuh hati saya
dengan cara yang paling berbekas dalam hati
saya. Kemudian pada malam harinya saya
pergi ke kamar ibu saya mengambil tangannya,
lantas menciumnya ... dan yang membuatnya terkejut,
saya memberitahunya bahwa bagi saya kedua
tangan tersebut adalah tangan yang paling
indah di dunia ini. Saya sangat bersyukur bahwa
Tuhan telah membuat saya dapat melihat dengan
sejelasnya, betapa bernilai dan berrharganya
kasih sayang yang penuh pengorbanan dari
seorang ibu.
Saya hanya dapat berdoa bahwa suatu hari
kelak tangan saya dan hati saya akan memiliki
keindahannya tersendiri. Dunia ini memiliki
banyak keajaiban, segala ciptaan Tuhan yang
begitu agung, tetapi tak satu pun yang dapat
menandingi keindahan tangan Ibu...
Friday, April 13, 2007
Lelaki & Wanita
Ternyata sangat sukar menjadi wanita istimewa dimataNYA dan dimata insan biasa. Tiada yang lebih baik dari menjadi makhluk ciptaannya.
Wanita diletakkan ditahap paling tinggi darjatnya disisi allah selain malaikat dan para nabi. Dan wanita juga dikurniakan dengan 1 akal dan 9 nafsu serta sifat kesabaran yang paling tinggi.
Taraf yang diletakkannya itu tidak dapat dinilai oleh sesiapa saja dibumi ini. Setiap saat didatangkan dugaan dan cabaran untuk menguji keimanan dan taqwa.
Sangat mudah tersungkur namun ada juga yang sangat cekal menghadapi apa jua rintangan.
Yang menjadikan wanita itu berbeza dari lelaki adalah sifat dan sikap jua keimanan dan ketabahan yang tak mungkin dipunyai oleh semua individu. Ianya tertakluk hanya kepada seseorang.
Cantiknya ia bukan pada paras rupa juga pada bentuknya. Ia terletak pada hati, jiwa dan rohani yang bersih dan jasmani yang sihat.
Amat sukar mencari wanita yang mengenali dirinya sendiri, mengetahui apa yang dimahukannya dan juga inginnya untuk hari yang mendatang.
Kebanyakkannya terbuai oleh arus kehidupan. Kesukaran membuatkan mereka belajar ataupun membutakan mata untuk mengikuti jalan yang seharusnya.
Wanita sekarang sangat lantang berbicara, mengendalikan haq dan juga bijak membuat pemilihan tentang hidup. Ramai yang hilang arah bilamana berada diatas.
Pada mereka yang tahu asal kejadian akan berpaling kebawah walaupun berada ditahap kerjaya mereka yang teratas tetapi dipangkuan lelaki atau suami mereka adalah pasangan yang seharusnya akur kepada kehendak kejadian bahawa mereka perlu menghormati, mengakui dan bisa dilentur bahawa mereka adalah sebahagian dari tulang rusuk seorang lelaki.
Jika terlalu keras pengendaliannya iakan patah, jika terlalu lembut iakan hancur, jika dibiarkan iakan hanyut.
Fenomena yang melanda milenium/ zaman sekarang adalah wanita yang sentiasa memperjuangkan haq sendiri yang sentiasa meletakkan kehendak dan kemampuan mereka sebagai keinginan yang perlu dipenuhi oleh lelaki pada apa jua keadaan tanpa mempertimbangkan situasi dan asal kehidupan.
Ada yang benar tapi ramai yang tersasar kerana lupa bila berada diatas puncak kejayaan yang diraih. Bukankah mereka harus berpaling kebelalakang siapakah yang menyokong atau punca mereka melakukan dan meraih itu semua.
Sesungguhnya aku jua adalah insan yang terkhilaf. Maka dengan itu nukilan dan jua luahan hati ini tersingkap. Dialah yang menjadi penyokong, penyandar walaupun pada kadar waktu ia lupa tanggungjawabnya adalah untuk berada diatas sana untuk dia merona warna kehidupanku.
Namun DIA telah membuka mataku, mindaku juga rohaniku untuk kembali kepada asalku. Mengerti apa erti kejadian seorang lelaki dan wanita. Dimana letaknya ia, kearah mana tujuan ia dan apa yang pasti untuk seorang yang bernama WANITA.
Aku hanya diutus untuk menjalankan tugas sebagai hambanya berada sangat hampir kepada hatinya, sangat dekat pada jantungnya dan menyokong hembusan nafasnya hingga kesaat akhir.
Jika ia datang lagi, haruslah aku menerima seadanya kerana adanya aku adalah untuk meneruskan perjalanan seorang insan yang bernama LELAKI.
Wassalam wb.
Friday, April 06, 2007
If this is me...
Mostly people that I know or even admirers, stalkers usually look for me for the appeal that I have. They always associates me with sex, imagination, wild fantasies and ideas.
Raunchy, wild, agressive, are so opposite of me. Farmgirl always associated with that tag on. How does that comes to mind, im not sure.
All those are an immediate turn off to befriend with them. To me they are not sincere. They are there for me for a mission.
Sometime i wonder whats wrong with the way i dressed up. I know somehow i have all the features that all woman wants. Not that i dont like it but sometime i thinks its too bold on me where it fall perfectly in place . I thank HIM for all that i have.
For the personality i have, I dont have to wait for long to make friends. Pushing away my shyness once upon a time developed in me and transformed myself into a whole new person. One question will lead to another and a smile will turn to laughter. Was that wrong?.
Insecure? I do feel it sometimes. For it will make me feel i will be in trouble at anytime. But then it has helps me a lot by changing to be a friendly person and getting helps and also associates immediately and fast. I have many acquiantance, friends, family become closer and it warmth the situation all the time.
It doesnt fit to many people around. Especially on women itself. I care less about the details talks about people. I hate places which is so doomed and gloomy, slow, hazy and etc. I like fast, bubbly, colourful and wonderful.
Was I wrong in changing to be a whole new person with an image and personality liked by mostly male encounters only?
*sigh.......*
5.23pm
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