Im Back

hehehehe....
Ramai yang tercari2 blog ini rupanya. Sebab aku bercuti, sebab aku berfikir, sebab aku suka tukar ini tukar itu hingga aku lupa apa dia yang aku tukar walaupun aku boleh akses tetapi orang kat luar tu tak leh maka aku check dan dengan pertolongan kawan yang tau IT dia mengindentifykan...

patutlah setting tak telly. Part IT ni aku memang mengong sikit tapi tak pe laaa setakat untuk pakai sendiri buleh laaa.

nah untuk mereka yang tercari blog ni nah amiklaaa. untuk mereka yang masih mencari jawapan tanyalah diri sebelum soalan ditanya dan dipersoalkan.

the real answer is within me and dia mengikut situasi dan juga tempat dan saat ia terjadi. tiada kene mengena dengan dulu atau sekarang. ia tetap berada dikotak memori dan telah dipateri.

yang terasa, merasa dan alpa aku, kau dan dia adalah insan biasa.
semuga aku dirahmati sentiasa.
amin

Mom experience...

This best and beautiful feelings one mom should be experiencing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3K87l9hNOE&feature=related

Trust & Faith...

Something to ponder my mind around... People and their attitude & behaviour are not the same... This to remind me always that every creature has their own beauty created by HIM...



Dear ______,

I am touched with ... ur... message, actually i feel down at the moment , to be frank its been a year now, but i am keeping my sadness within myself. I try to divert things away from my life and feelings. At times i blame my husband , at times i wish i never whats happening around. Cos i remember my friend told me, wht u dont know will not hurt u. But when u found out about certain things, it hurts like hell, cuts u and leave u bleeding. Heart broken into pieces.

U know i never really had a friend i can really call best friend , be it in real or at work place. I keep most things to myself, cos i dare not trust anyone.

Sometime along the way i found a few friends whom i liked , though they had their bad points , but hey thats what friends are for, accept their good and bad points, no one is perfect but one day, this person called a friend was hurting u and my family.

Had lots of problem in marriage till i hated to see my hubby, never felt that hate b4 so much, to the extend i wanted him out of the house. Shouts quarrel is a daily routine and he seem to drift far from me.

Until my hub consulted a guy who could see things what u call that , ermm kind of like dukun,, it seemed that,, we had been put in a spell. This person whom i thought was my friend , whom i confided in, for my problems was the one who did this to me. She wanted to see me suffer, jeolousy is the reason .

I couldnt take it, nor belive it, until i went to see the man himself. Until now i couldnt bare to see her face or be close to anyone. I stay away from ppl or relatives. I didnt talk to her ever since, i couldnt !! I tried to be nice to her again but my heart couldnt bare to be hurt again and pretend nothing happened.

No body knows why i avoided her. Why i am not talking to her even though i am in the same room as her. Each time i see her, my heart hurts again. She has taken away my peace. I dont blame her but myself. i told myself that i would never trust any one ever again.

I know i need to regain back my feelings , my honour, my peace and my strength, i wont let her take away all that . What ever spell she wants to put on me, god is there to guide me and i can be strong.

I keep reminding myself so thats why i am online reading blogs , taking examples, collecting courage from readers , thinking if they can make it,, i can too.


Thank you _____, for offering ....ur.... time for me . A _______whom u dont really know. Some how i am telling u this , cos i need to get things out of my chest. Time will heal the hurt , the pain, but it will never be forgotten for the wound will leave a scar.

Warna-warna hidup ku...

Genit... Itu aku...

Kadangkala garang, kadangkala ceria, kadangkala, moody,kadangkala gedik, kadangkala membuli, ... Semua tu aku. Aku dan warna-warna hidupku...

Aku tak lagi takut untuk sendiri, tak lagi takut untuk menghadapi dunia luar, kesukaran, kepayahan atau apa jua keperihan.. Semuanya dah ku lalui dengan nikmat tersendiri.

Hari ini aku tersenyum lebar, kerana kebenaran terbongkar,tersinar dengan sendirinya. Betapa hidupku penuh warna menceriakan walau setiap detik aku diduga.

Alhamdullillah ... aku redha

Wishing

Nosy?

I am???

Frankly i have no time and room for that anymore. Im full of life and structured.

I was already in basement talking to my daughter when next call come asking me to come with him for dinner.

When i wanted to to get away of something someone carried me away lifting it from my shoulder... I feel relief and thankful for him who waited by the lobby with his smile. After quite sometimes of not seing each other, i was feeling ackward besides him, avoiding his eyes, talking to my own feelings.

Yes, i was feeling uneasy, having mood instability as i was tired for the whole of past week. I was driving to and fro PutraJaya every morning to send my niece to work. The only best thing i could to describe is the greens along the journey which lifted my bounciful mood swing towards everyone.

He was so happy yesterday having a meal opposite each other. He was telling me all the reason why he has to say something that can make me move on. Anyway to whatever reason said it does not change me just as yet.

I am fine now with or without you. With or without him. But i am not fine if i am not having HIM all the time, thinking of HIM all the time. And for sure he has never leave me even so many 'HE' is around me.
I was ligthen up by many him yesterday just coincidently to boost me up. But none really affects me the way i wanted to be. But HIM really gives me the full of love that i want by sending the so many 'him' who was trying hard to get a place.
You are welcome 'he' but i dont have a space anywhere if you want something special. You can just be here as you wish n go when you wish too. Im not going to stop nor letting you go. You stay wherever you like.

I will enjoy your attention, your affection, your love. To return it back?? i have no way to do so as for now. Not You, not Him, not He...

I just want to be me... Appreciating the time i have, loving the people i want, giving attention or time i wish to be with ... Wthout being told or without having to return what i am told to...

Wishing that the perfectness i inhale with HIM every moment would last to the last day of my existent. Amin...