Current mood: fabulous
Mengapa sangat sunyi page ini sekarang?
Because my time is very limited, because i have only two hands to meddle. I have so much to write, to let out but im not complaining. Loving every minute of the job now and loving every minute the thing i do for my kids and family.
Love life?. Im in love? hhahahaha
Perking up and going down the tunnel. Up again to the highest mountain taking me to the rainbow and then pull down by the storm back to the hungry waves. But the bounciness is good. The more i goes up the more colours i saw, the deeper down me to earth showed me more creatures to appreciate.
To hell with my past, to hell with passers by, im welcoming my new path, experience, enjoyment. 2007 past with no so good and not so bad experience and examples but im sipping every bit of it. Bitter, sweetness, plain, salty, whatever. Taking everything for me to evaluate each and everyone.
I am thankful as all these are laid accordingly for me to understand and share amongst my friends, amongst colleagues, amongst sibllings and everyone. I smile, I cry, I laugh and most important I cry my heart out on every occassion I had.
Long journey was only to Bandung and Singapore. Short journey was minimize, very much outing with "R" and him but mostly with my kids. That is why my heart and life is filled nowadays.
Ok thats about me. This morning I had a chance to check out my boss personal item which has similiriaty in many things. Hahahaha monkeys... the only thing different is my position and her. While she is the metal monkey and I am the earth monkey.
Of course they share the same passion and likes but its just the pace of how she leads. I noted her range of handbags brands are mostly those I like, perfumes selection she boughts for her colleagues and clients, her favourite colours, her way of working, her way of talking.
Balenciaga, Guess, Renoma, Prada are the few numbers of range of handbags she had. Eh if i write more jealousy i would be because time being im stopping myself from buying all those to make sure i achieve my resolution this year.
I have so many targets this year and list of things to have like Clarks handbag & wedges, Dior Addict 2, Deep Reed Hugo, and so many more.
Working hard to achieve all with self dicipline. I minimize my social outings and allowing once a month for karaokeing, Picnics, movies with kids is still in the list.
I find I am harder than before. Where i can just smile and walk away with a statement which i think i should pass. Who was the person to affect me with the attitude???
It was me, because i allow the changes in me to benefit me more than other people. Judging? Let them.. I throw my anger and temper whenever i feel like. Not anymore keeping it in me or saving for a revenge which i never does.
I hope i can still keep bloging like i use to be.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Blogging again...
I have the itch to write. Its just i dont have time for it.
Life is so hectic this year once the school open. From early morning right up to midnite my chores are non stop. Sigh... Tired but still have to manage all for the sake of my love.
On the personal side its likely not to happen like what i want but then life goes and broadening my vision towards my career is a must this year.
Two of the executives left, one for better and the other to pursue her studies.
Life is so hectic this year once the school open. From early morning right up to midnite my chores are non stop. Sigh... Tired but still have to manage all for the sake of my love.
On the personal side its likely not to happen like what i want but then life goes and broadening my vision towards my career is a must this year.
Two of the executives left, one for better and the other to pursue her studies.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Sinar 2008
2007 past with so many memories. Kept, encapsulate everything. Passion to write is still there but the drive stuck. Don't ask why. Maybe I like to lay low. Grow old with time, become legend to certain things, become history to some people, become rott to some memories, become sweet to some page and become everything to anyone who loves to be there still.
So much to see, so much to write, so much to share. But no longer written in the form of text but in a form of smile. 2008 I am wishing for the best, wishing for the better, wishing for the good deal which some of it already felt, redeem and safe in the box of life.
Would love to open new year book with this note to share with all of you friends.
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menyingkap tabir rahsia? Isteri yang kamu nikahi tidaklah semulia Khadijah, tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah, pun tidaklah setabah Fatimah. Justeru isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman yang punya cita- cita menjadi solehah....
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama.Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya.Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya.Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya. Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya.Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya.Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya.
Seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya.Seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya. Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menginsafkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana. Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.Kamu bukanlah Rasulullah s.a.w.
Pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah.Cuma suami akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi soleh... amin..! Untuk isteri.... renungkanlah. ...Pernikahan atau perkahwinan membuka tabir rahsia?Suami yang menikahi kamu tidaklah semulia Muhammad saw.Tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim. Pun tidak setabah Ayyub Atau pun segagah Musa ... apalagi setampan Yusuf.
Justeru suamimu hanyalah lelaki akhir zaman yang punya cita-cita membangunkan keturunan yang soleh..Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya.Suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu pengemudinya.Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya.
Saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya. Seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya.Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya.Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan mengajarkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa. Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki suami yang tak segagah mana.Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.Kamu bukanlah Khadijah yang begitu sempurna dalam menjaga. Pun bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalam sengsara .
Cuma wanita akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi solehah... amin!Justeru itu wahai para suami dan isteri,Jangan menuntut terlalu tinggi seandainya diri sendiri jelas tidak berupaya. Mengapa mendambakan isteri sehebat Khadijah andai diri tidak semulia Rasulullah? Mengapa mengharapkan suami setampan Yusof seandainya kasih tak setulus Zulaikha? Tidak perlu mencari isteri secantik Balqis andai diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman DAN Tidak perlu mencari suami seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tidak sekuat Hajar dan Sarah
Semuga kita dapat meraih intipati darinya. Yang baik darinya yang buruk itu dari kita jua
So much to see, so much to write, so much to share. But no longer written in the form of text but in a form of smile. 2008 I am wishing for the best, wishing for the better, wishing for the good deal which some of it already felt, redeem and safe in the box of life.
Would love to open new year book with this note to share with all of you friends.
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menyingkap tabir rahsia? Isteri yang kamu nikahi tidaklah semulia Khadijah, tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah, pun tidaklah setabah Fatimah. Justeru isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman yang punya cita- cita menjadi solehah....
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama.Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya.Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya.Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya. Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya.Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya.Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya.
Seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya.Seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya. Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menginsafkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana. Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.Kamu bukanlah Rasulullah s.a.w.
Pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah.Cuma suami akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi soleh... amin..! Untuk isteri.... renungkanlah. ...Pernikahan atau perkahwinan membuka tabir rahsia?Suami yang menikahi kamu tidaklah semulia Muhammad saw.Tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim. Pun tidak setabah Ayyub Atau pun segagah Musa ... apalagi setampan Yusuf.
Justeru suamimu hanyalah lelaki akhir zaman yang punya cita-cita membangunkan keturunan yang soleh..Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya.Suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu pengemudinya.Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya.
Saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya. Seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya.Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya.Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan mengajarkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa. Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki suami yang tak segagah mana.Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.Kamu bukanlah Khadijah yang begitu sempurna dalam menjaga. Pun bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalam sengsara .
Cuma wanita akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi solehah... amin!Justeru itu wahai para suami dan isteri,Jangan menuntut terlalu tinggi seandainya diri sendiri jelas tidak berupaya. Mengapa mendambakan isteri sehebat Khadijah andai diri tidak semulia Rasulullah? Mengapa mengharapkan suami setampan Yusof seandainya kasih tak setulus Zulaikha? Tidak perlu mencari isteri secantik Balqis andai diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman DAN Tidak perlu mencari suami seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tidak sekuat Hajar dan Sarah
Semuga kita dapat meraih intipati darinya. Yang baik darinya yang buruk itu dari kita jua
Monday, December 17, 2007
Morning Thoughts
When a guy is missing from your life can that change your life???
Courage and patient is the best key!!!
Courage and patient is the best key!!!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Morning Thoughts
Our senior research executive tendered her resignation early this month. The research executive planning to do her master in the next one two months.
We will be short of people again. But then since the management are not looking into the staff benefits how could the staff look into the management views.
Thats on careerwise. Next year ill be back to square one managing everything. But one thing clear I will not any longer nodded my head all the time should i want better justification.
Lets just see
We will be short of people again. But then since the management are not looking into the staff benefits how could the staff look into the management views.
Thats on careerwise. Next year ill be back to square one managing everything. But one thing clear I will not any longer nodded my head all the time should i want better justification.
Lets just see
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Knowing your Personality
"The key quality of this scientific assessment is that it is objective.
Friends, and we ourselves, often have a wrong perception of our own personality - our perception is confused by the roles we have to play and expectations we need to meet.
Friends, and we ourselves, often have a wrong perception of our own personality - our perception is confused by the roles we have to play and expectations we need to meet.
Controlling birth
Health Sunday September 16, 2007
By Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
The Pill: what you need to know.
THE conception of a new life is a wonderful blessing. And thanks to scientific advances, women are now in control of when they conceive, so that the arrival of a baby comes at the right time in their lives.
I always stress the importance of using proper birth control methods to prevent unplanned pregnancies. One of the most common and easy-to-use methods of contraception is the birth control pill.
Although it is usually referred to as the Pill, there are actually many different types to suit women’s different needs.
What’s in the Pill?
If you have never taken birth control pills before, you may be unsure about what it is or how it works.
It is actually very simple: the Pill contains synthetic hormones that prevent the release of eggs from your ovaries. As sperm is unable to meet with the egg to fertilise it, you will not conceive.
There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills.There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills. Combination pills contain two types of hormones, which are oestrogen and progestin. Different brands of combination pills usually contain different types of progestin, but the same type of oestrogen.
Different brands also contain varying doses of the hormones. Discuss with your doctor or gynaecologist as to which is the most suitable pill for your cycle or needs.
There are some side-effects of taking birth control pills, but they are not serious and will go away on their own. They include mood changes, breast tenderness, sickness or vomiting, headaches, occasional water retention, and irregular vaginal bleeding.
Taking the Pill
You need to take the Pill every day for a cycle of 21 days. Then, there is a seven-day break in between cycles where you do not take the pill and you experience normal menstruation. Some pills are taken for 28 days straight, but during seven of those days, you take placebo pills instead.
It is important to take the pills at the same time every day, and without skipping any day in between. Ask your doctor what to do if you accidentally miss a day, as you are bound to forget once or twice!
Even though the Pill acts as birth control, it does not protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). You can only prevent against these STDs by using condoms during intercourse.
When you should not take the Pill
Birth control pills are perfectly safe for most women. However, under rare circumstances, some women may have pre-existing conditions that make the Pill unsafe for them.
If you have a family history of venous thrombosis or pulmonary embolism, you may be at risk of developing blood clots. You should not take birth control pills because the hormones in the pill further increase your risk of getting blood clots in your legs or in your lungs.
However, if you do not have a family history of developing blood clots, then you do not need to worry.
Another concern is for women who smoke. As it is, smoking already increases your risk of having a stroke; but if you are over 35 and a smoker, then taking the Pill at the same time will lead to an even greater chance of a stroke.
I urge all women to stop smoking, of course, but particularly if you intend to start taking birth control pills.
This is why it’s important to get medical advice before starting on birth control pills, so that your gynaecologist can check out your medical history and health status.
Myths about the Pill
Some women are worried about the safety of birth control pills because they contain hormones. There are a few myths out there about the dangers of the Pill – but here are the real facts:
The Pill makes you gain weight
A lot of women worry about this, and I don’t blame them! But there is no scientific evidence to show that birth control pills cause weight gain. What may happen is that the hormones in the Pill cause water retention in your breasts, hips and thighs, causing a feeling of bloatedness. However, you are not gaining fat.
The Pill causes cancer
This is not true. But you’re probably worried about taking any form of hormones because some people say that oestrogen replacement treatment for post-menopause is linked to breast cancer. That’s a topic for another day, but for now, rest assured that the oestrogen in birth control pills are not linked to breast cancer.
In fact, combination birth control pills may even prevent cancers of the ovary and uterus. For instance, the Pill can reduce your lifetime risk of ovarian cancer by about 50%.
The Pill causes birth defects
Lots of women have accidentally taken birth control pills during the early part of their pregnancy because they were unaware that they were pregnant. However, this has not been shown to cause birth defects. But we still advise women not to take the Pill if they are, or suspect that they are pregnant.
You should take a break from the Pill every once in a while
No, you don’t have to. A woman can be on the Pill for more than 15 straight years without any known increased risk. There is no extra benefit in stopping the Pill for a “break” – in fact, there is only the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
You shouldn’t take birth control pills if you’re over 40
You can continue to take birth control pills until you reach menopause. However, there are some conditions: you should be healthy, have normal blood pressure, not be at increased risk of heart attack or stroke, and be on the low-dose pills.
The Pill causes infertility
This is untrue. In fact, you will find that you can conceive as soon as you stop taking the Pill.
The final myth is that the Pill is bad for your health in general. But why would your gynaecologist prescribe you a pill that is harmful for you? Birth control pills are a smart and safe way to practise family planning.
They also have some added health benefits, such as reducing the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers, ovarian cysts, acne, excess facial and body hair, regulating menstrual flow and reducing menstrual cramps.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
By Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
The Pill: what you need to know.
THE conception of a new life is a wonderful blessing. And thanks to scientific advances, women are now in control of when they conceive, so that the arrival of a baby comes at the right time in their lives.
I always stress the importance of using proper birth control methods to prevent unplanned pregnancies. One of the most common and easy-to-use methods of contraception is the birth control pill.
Although it is usually referred to as the Pill, there are actually many different types to suit women’s different needs.
What’s in the Pill?
If you have never taken birth control pills before, you may be unsure about what it is or how it works.
It is actually very simple: the Pill contains synthetic hormones that prevent the release of eggs from your ovaries. As sperm is unable to meet with the egg to fertilise it, you will not conceive.
There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills.There are two types of birth control pills: combination and progestin-only pills. Combination pills contain two types of hormones, which are oestrogen and progestin. Different brands of combination pills usually contain different types of progestin, but the same type of oestrogen.
Different brands also contain varying doses of the hormones. Discuss with your doctor or gynaecologist as to which is the most suitable pill for your cycle or needs.
There are some side-effects of taking birth control pills, but they are not serious and will go away on their own. They include mood changes, breast tenderness, sickness or vomiting, headaches, occasional water retention, and irregular vaginal bleeding.
Taking the Pill
You need to take the Pill every day for a cycle of 21 days. Then, there is a seven-day break in between cycles where you do not take the pill and you experience normal menstruation. Some pills are taken for 28 days straight, but during seven of those days, you take placebo pills instead.
It is important to take the pills at the same time every day, and without skipping any day in between. Ask your doctor what to do if you accidentally miss a day, as you are bound to forget once or twice!
Even though the Pill acts as birth control, it does not protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). You can only prevent against these STDs by using condoms during intercourse.
When you should not take the Pill
Birth control pills are perfectly safe for most women. However, under rare circumstances, some women may have pre-existing conditions that make the Pill unsafe for them.
If you have a family history of venous thrombosis or pulmonary embolism, you may be at risk of developing blood clots. You should not take birth control pills because the hormones in the pill further increase your risk of getting blood clots in your legs or in your lungs.
However, if you do not have a family history of developing blood clots, then you do not need to worry.
Another concern is for women who smoke. As it is, smoking already increases your risk of having a stroke; but if you are over 35 and a smoker, then taking the Pill at the same time will lead to an even greater chance of a stroke.
I urge all women to stop smoking, of course, but particularly if you intend to start taking birth control pills.
This is why it’s important to get medical advice before starting on birth control pills, so that your gynaecologist can check out your medical history and health status.
Myths about the Pill
Some women are worried about the safety of birth control pills because they contain hormones. There are a few myths out there about the dangers of the Pill – but here are the real facts:
The Pill makes you gain weight
A lot of women worry about this, and I don’t blame them! But there is no scientific evidence to show that birth control pills cause weight gain. What may happen is that the hormones in the Pill cause water retention in your breasts, hips and thighs, causing a feeling of bloatedness. However, you are not gaining fat.
The Pill causes cancer
This is not true. But you’re probably worried about taking any form of hormones because some people say that oestrogen replacement treatment for post-menopause is linked to breast cancer. That’s a topic for another day, but for now, rest assured that the oestrogen in birth control pills are not linked to breast cancer.
In fact, combination birth control pills may even prevent cancers of the ovary and uterus. For instance, the Pill can reduce your lifetime risk of ovarian cancer by about 50%.
The Pill causes birth defects
Lots of women have accidentally taken birth control pills during the early part of their pregnancy because they were unaware that they were pregnant. However, this has not been shown to cause birth defects. But we still advise women not to take the Pill if they are, or suspect that they are pregnant.
You should take a break from the Pill every once in a while
No, you don’t have to. A woman can be on the Pill for more than 15 straight years without any known increased risk. There is no extra benefit in stopping the Pill for a “break” – in fact, there is only the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
You shouldn’t take birth control pills if you’re over 40
You can continue to take birth control pills until you reach menopause. However, there are some conditions: you should be healthy, have normal blood pressure, not be at increased risk of heart attack or stroke, and be on the low-dose pills.
The Pill causes infertility
This is untrue. In fact, you will find that you can conceive as soon as you stop taking the Pill.
The final myth is that the Pill is bad for your health in general. But why would your gynaecologist prescribe you a pill that is harmful for you? Birth control pills are a smart and safe way to practise family planning.
They also have some added health benefits, such as reducing the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers, ovarian cysts, acne, excess facial and body hair, regulating menstrual flow and reducing menstrual cramps.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Sex and Menopause
Sex and menopause
About post-menopausal sexual dysfunction.
EVEN the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.
Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.
“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.
Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.
Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.
“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.
Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.
Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.
“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.
Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.
“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.
“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.
Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.
To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.
She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’
Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.
The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.
While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.
“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.
This article is courtesy of Pfizer. For more information, log on to www.menshealth.com.my
About post-menopausal sexual dysfunction.
EVEN the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.
Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.
“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.
Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.
Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.
“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.
Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.
Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.
“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.
Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.
“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.
“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.
Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.
To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.
She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’
Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.
The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.
While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.
“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.
This article is courtesy of Pfizer. For more information, log on to www.menshealth.com.my
Golden Relationships
Very nice article found while looking for another article online ;)
Health
Sunday September 30, 2007
WOMEN'S WORLDBy Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
Getting older does not mean that you lose interest in sex.
CAN you believe that in the 18th and 19th century, people only lived to their 20s or 30s? Today, people in Malaysia can expect to live up to at least 70, and many even live up to the ripe old age of 80 or 90!
Now that we are living longer, there are many aspects of our lives that we want to maintain in the golden years.
We want to continue to be healthy, fit, independent and alert so that we can look forward to the years ahead, rather than dread them.
First, let’s get rid of the myth that older people can’t have a sex life. Whoever said that only younger people enjoy sex? You can lose your hair and some parts of your body may start drooping, but you will never lose the need for affection, intimacy and emotional closeness.
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved. – AP
It’s not easy for the older generation to accept this. If you’re a baby boomer, you would have grown up in an era where female sexual desire was never discussed. And to talk about sex in your old age?why, that’s just scandalous!
In this article, I hope to overcome these taboos and help women realise that sex can be just as good, if not better, in the golden years.
Where have all the hormones gone?
If you feel that growing older has made you lose interest in sex, you’re not alone. About 40% of women report a drop in desire during menopause, and say that they have fewer sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires, and are not as receptive to sexual activity.
There’s no denying that a woman’s body changes as she ages. After menopause, the female sex hormones, oestrogen and progesterone, will drop and cause some physical changes that affect sexual intercourse.
It will take longer for your vagina to swell and lubricate when you’re sexually aroused. This can make intercourse less comfortable or even painful.
You might also feel a burning sensation during vaginal penetration or discover vaginal bleeding afterward.
The reduction in sex hormones will also cause less blood to flow to the clitoris and the genitals to become less sensitive.
After menopause, your body will also produce less testosterone (yes, women have some testosterone in their bodies too), and this leads to a lower sex drive. Sometimes, it’s the menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, insomnia and mood swings that interfere with the sex drive.
But it’s not just about the hormones. For most women, sexual desire doesn’t necessarily begin with a desire for sex. What women want is intimacy and closeness with the person they love, which then leads to sexual desire.
At this age, you may also be facing some medical problems like a chronic disease, chronic pain, surgery or an illness that causes fatigue. All these, while not affecting your sex drive directly, can make you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind.
You may also be taking medications that interfere with sexual function.
Some high blood pressure medications reduce desire and vaginal lubrication in women, while some antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs can affect sexual function.
These medications are very important for you, but you can talk to your doctor about how they are affecting your sexual function, and how you can minimise those effects.
But I’m wrinkly and saggy ...
The biggest stumbling block to regaining your sexual desire is your mind. You’re probably thinking about how much less attractive or energetic you are, or how you may not be as good in bed anymore. All this worrying can trigger a lack of desire and make it a lot harder for you to become aroused.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, think about the fact that your partner is just as grey, wrinkly and saggy as you are (or will be one day)! What’s more important than the physical aspects is the life experiences that you have both shared over the years.
And don’t forget that men can be just as insecure as women – your partner may be having these fears about himself as well, so you have to reassure him that you still find him sexually attractive.
What can be done to treat it?
Does medical science have any answers to improve sexual desire for older women? There are some therapies available, for instance water-based lubricants (such as K-Y jelly) can make sex less painful or uncomfortable.
Hormone therapy for menopause may help to improve symptoms of hot flushes and vaginal dryness, thus improving sexual desire.
Sometimes, all it takes is some longer foreplay to stimulate your natural lubrication – and you have all the time in the world now without kids or work to worry about!
Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about this problem. Your family doctor or a sex therapist can offer advice about your relationship as well as new sexual techniques to try.
Most importantly, you and your partner need to talk to each other. He needs to understand the physical and psychological changes that you’re going through, and you need to understand him as well.
Together, you can decide how to regain your sex live without causing each other pain or discomfort.
The best time to be together
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved.
As you get older, there’s no longer the need to worry about careers, children, household duties and contraception! And even if you do not have intercourse, you can still be intimate with each other by hugging, holding hands, giving massages, and foot rubs.
Sex shouldn’t be taboo for older people – it is a gift to be enjoyed between you and your loved one.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Health
Sunday September 30, 2007
WOMEN'S WORLDBy Dr NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR
Getting older does not mean that you lose interest in sex.
CAN you believe that in the 18th and 19th century, people only lived to their 20s or 30s? Today, people in Malaysia can expect to live up to at least 70, and many even live up to the ripe old age of 80 or 90!
Now that we are living longer, there are many aspects of our lives that we want to maintain in the golden years.
We want to continue to be healthy, fit, independent and alert so that we can look forward to the years ahead, rather than dread them.
First, let’s get rid of the myth that older people can’t have a sex life. Whoever said that only younger people enjoy sex? You can lose your hair and some parts of your body may start drooping, but you will never lose the need for affection, intimacy and emotional closeness.
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved. – AP
It’s not easy for the older generation to accept this. If you’re a baby boomer, you would have grown up in an era where female sexual desire was never discussed. And to talk about sex in your old age?why, that’s just scandalous!
In this article, I hope to overcome these taboos and help women realise that sex can be just as good, if not better, in the golden years.
Where have all the hormones gone?
If you feel that growing older has made you lose interest in sex, you’re not alone. About 40% of women report a drop in desire during menopause, and say that they have fewer sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires, and are not as receptive to sexual activity.
There’s no denying that a woman’s body changes as she ages. After menopause, the female sex hormones, oestrogen and progesterone, will drop and cause some physical changes that affect sexual intercourse.
It will take longer for your vagina to swell and lubricate when you’re sexually aroused. This can make intercourse less comfortable or even painful.
You might also feel a burning sensation during vaginal penetration or discover vaginal bleeding afterward.
The reduction in sex hormones will also cause less blood to flow to the clitoris and the genitals to become less sensitive.
After menopause, your body will also produce less testosterone (yes, women have some testosterone in their bodies too), and this leads to a lower sex drive. Sometimes, it’s the menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, insomnia and mood swings that interfere with the sex drive.
But it’s not just about the hormones. For most women, sexual desire doesn’t necessarily begin with a desire for sex. What women want is intimacy and closeness with the person they love, which then leads to sexual desire.
At this age, you may also be facing some medical problems like a chronic disease, chronic pain, surgery or an illness that causes fatigue. All these, while not affecting your sex drive directly, can make you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind.
You may also be taking medications that interfere with sexual function.
Some high blood pressure medications reduce desire and vaginal lubrication in women, while some antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs can affect sexual function.
These medications are very important for you, but you can talk to your doctor about how they are affecting your sexual function, and how you can minimise those effects.
But I’m wrinkly and saggy ...
The biggest stumbling block to regaining your sexual desire is your mind. You’re probably thinking about how much less attractive or energetic you are, or how you may not be as good in bed anymore. All this worrying can trigger a lack of desire and make it a lot harder for you to become aroused.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, think about the fact that your partner is just as grey, wrinkly and saggy as you are (or will be one day)! What’s more important than the physical aspects is the life experiences that you have both shared over the years.
And don’t forget that men can be just as insecure as women – your partner may be having these fears about himself as well, so you have to reassure him that you still find him sexually attractive.
What can be done to treat it?
Does medical science have any answers to improve sexual desire for older women? There are some therapies available, for instance water-based lubricants (such as K-Y jelly) can make sex less painful or uncomfortable.
Hormone therapy for menopause may help to improve symptoms of hot flushes and vaginal dryness, thus improving sexual desire.
Sometimes, all it takes is some longer foreplay to stimulate your natural lubrication – and you have all the time in the world now without kids or work to worry about!
Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about this problem. Your family doctor or a sex therapist can offer advice about your relationship as well as new sexual techniques to try.
Most importantly, you and your partner need to talk to each other. He needs to understand the physical and psychological changes that you’re going through, and you need to understand him as well.
Together, you can decide how to regain your sex live without causing each other pain or discomfort.
The best time to be together
For some people, sex in the golden years is far better than what they experienced when they were younger. For one, you and your partner have gone through a lot together, and you know each other in ways that younger couples have not achieved.
As you get older, there’s no longer the need to worry about careers, children, household duties and contraception! And even if you do not have intercourse, you can still be intimate with each other by hugging, holding hands, giving massages, and foot rubs.
Sex shouldn’t be taboo for older people – it is a gift to be enjoyed between you and your loved one.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). She is co chairman of Nur Sejahtera, Women & Family Healthcare Program, Ministry of Women, Family and Development. For further information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Dilemma-2007
I heard about May Leong death today thru email sent by my fren. Its hurting while life are focus just to one thing. Money are not everything. It has to be balanced.
To think of that I just had an argument about it last night. I was nearly asleep when the phone call came. Its past midnight. I am too sensitive lately? Or was I thinking about it so much?
I am confused still. For him to prove and for me to evaluate the whole situation. The more i think of it the more its hurting me inside out and im not ready to face the truth. Although i want it happen but i cannot bear to think that i caused the whole situation into such action.
I dont have much time and i still cant decide what i want.
'N' words this morning hurt my head hard. Hammering is not my style and getting it naturally is what i want. Fate is what he said. Another testament before we could make it happen. But when?
To think of that I just had an argument about it last night. I was nearly asleep when the phone call came. Its past midnight. I am too sensitive lately? Or was I thinking about it so much?
I am confused still. For him to prove and for me to evaluate the whole situation. The more i think of it the more its hurting me inside out and im not ready to face the truth. Although i want it happen but i cannot bear to think that i caused the whole situation into such action.
I dont have much time and i still cant decide what i want.
'N' words this morning hurt my head hard. Hammering is not my style and getting it naturally is what i want. Fate is what he said. Another testament before we could make it happen. But when?
Friday, November 23, 2007
Value of Relationship
She has taken so much $$$$ from him and now he has to bear the cost of installment to the bank owed. Thats the price of his relationship with third woman. She used him to get all she wants. Personal, families, future, share, investments, business and then washed HER hand and left the dirt to be washed by his wife.
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Silap
I found this statement in my bloggers page.
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Rahsia
Everyone has their own set of secret that can be shared and not.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
My Klang girlfriend called me and blurted her wonder, her dissapointment of her son achievement over his 4As. At the end of the conversation she accused me that i dont understand her situation, her question, her amazement towards what she wants from god was just to grant her son achievement in the UPSR and not her life, her happiness and wellbeing.
I am upset for not being able to convinced her that is still a small testament HE is giving before she gave her TOTAL happiness, achievement and also fulfilling life later. At the end we both cry together.
It is hard to advice when one has already has her set of mind a failure in life all along. I was sad for she cant except the way to look at her own future, her own goal and set of life. She keep on looking at her past as a path to look for tomorrow.
Once, I was there who not able to see lights in the future because I set it to be gloomy, cloudy and hazy. But I beat the feeling by asking question after question to myself, over my performance, over what have I done to myself, community, life or HIM. Once I get the answer, once I know it was not in my hand, once I know I have not had an answer for it, I pass it back to HIM. Let HIM organise, let HIM lead, let HIM decide for me. If it is not for now, it may be for tomorrow or even maybe it was not destine for me.
Now I have things more clearly and I lead my life one at the time. Thanks to friends who have not given up to be there, who has been nice and always had the strong motivation words to give everytime I need it. Now I am more focus of what I want, where I go, whom I should be with, which one I shoud prioritise with and why am I still here for everything.
Alhamdullillah thank god for the lights and patience to make me understand the predicament is only temporary.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Lovely Piece
Look at this piece which amaze me. It was take by our Malaysian astronaut. The uniqueness of HIS creation which add the reason to believe that HE is the ALMIGHTY and the creator of all. The beauty lies not just int he piece of land its also in the piece of mind and its undescribeable.
Blue and white entice me so much on top of the world while Green n brown bring me down to earth. Two separate tonnation, two separate kinds unseparable. Day and nights it bring its own beauty n life.
Keeping this picture will always remind me of HIM. Somewhere that i never go, never even comes to mind how does it looks. With our astronaut the miracle was delivered in a form of picture which can be seen by everyone of us.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Nikmat Illahi
Semakin meningkat umur semakin membuatkan aku cekal dan tabah. Jika dulu aku sering memikirkan sesuatu terlalu mendalam dengan mengambil kira semua angle sekarang aku masih tetapi tidak lagi kalut jika ianya tidak hadir pada waktu itu. Aku hanya akan mengendalikannya jika waktu itu perlu ditangani ketika itu.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Jumbo Sale
My fren is migrating so she needs to sell of her items:
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Monday, October 29, 2007
D' Datins Club Gatherings
I was invited for her daughter birthday party. There is many people including Chinese and Indian, not forgetting singles and married. As a friend i came bringing all four plus my mom to accompany me because she wanted to meet her during raya and she wasnt in town.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Pengertian
The call received on Wednesday afternoon was a shocked but since he was the one to tell me the news when he is better.
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The beauty of words in the unfold life experience
Glad that people notice the eagerness, greediness and selfishness in them. I am always agree to that. As human we can run away from that feelings. The needs in us sometimes put away our sensibility and the building of the needs and wanting kills the good sense of ownself.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
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