I heard about May Leong death today thru email sent by my fren. Its hurting while life are focus just to one thing. Money are not everything. It has to be balanced.
To think of that I just had an argument about it last night. I was nearly asleep when the phone call came. Its past midnight. I am too sensitive lately? Or was I thinking about it so much?
I am confused still. For him to prove and for me to evaluate the whole situation. The more i think of it the more its hurting me inside out and im not ready to face the truth. Although i want it happen but i cannot bear to think that i caused the whole situation into such action.
I dont have much time and i still cant decide what i want.
'N' words this morning hurt my head hard. Hammering is not my style and getting it naturally is what i want. Fate is what he said. Another testament before we could make it happen. But when?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Value of Relationship
She has taken so much $$$$ from him and now he has to bear the cost of installment to the bank owed. Thats the price of his relationship with third woman. She used him to get all she wants. Personal, families, future, share, investments, business and then washed HER hand and left the dirt to be washed by his wife.
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
"Mummy tolong papa ye..." Almost choke she just nodded. In her mind when the action take place, when she asked for shopping spree, holidays, and merenggek manja wanting all that she needs, he dont even think of her at all. But now she has to bear the cost together of what she has left...
Is that fair... When he asked her permission to marry her, she was devastated, she sulk, she feel likes world is turning into war, falling apart and spin like twister. She listen to his ramblings daily about HER. About HER beauty, about HER needs, about HER future plans.
Now she still hears him ramblings about how bad SHE is, how he would killed HER, how SHE tricked him into the trap. Now only he realising it is all soap opera that has ruinned every trust he has from his dear wife.
But sebagai isteri yang pemaaf, she needs time to recover, time to heal, although she forgive but still hard just to forget and not thinking it would happen again. She has paid so much of price for the mistake happen in herself that cause the infidelity but to trust him again 100% is really a no, no...
I wonder why so many people around me come and throw out and get the advice from me. After my fall, after my reflection, after my recovery, I have replenish the amount of sadness to joy and happiness with those who love me, who care for me, who treasure me near the heart. I am very happy and blessed to have them around.
The wonderful things that i really like to share was the advice was then reflected on individual side, deep thougths taken, and action took place to patch things in daily life things are back to normal again. Alhamdullillah, after fair share are taken both recover from the black shadow, or bad dreams that cause the whole scenario.
"Time and advice does not match the price of time taken to sit, to hear, to execute, to mend, to replenish..."
One has to do it himself/ herself. Individual has to know the mistake of their own.
Kita hanya manusia yang lemah, yang tidak pernah lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Menuding mengambil masa yang lama untuk menjadikan kebaikan adalah milik kita semula. Maka menelaah kesilapan diri adalah harga yang paling cepat untuk menebus segala kesilapan yang telah berlaku. Keadilan allah menangani apa yang terjadi didunia adalah terletak ditangan individu itu sendiri.
Cintailah DIA dalam dirimu kerana dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu walau apa jua keadaan....
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Silap
I found this statement in my bloggers page.
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
"...in this life, we are trying to do our best to overcome the hurdle that cross our path, to outdo the adversity which complicating our ways. little we know about what others plan and actions install for us. still we trying to reassure ourselve that everything will be ok. and once we have done our best, still we meet with failure, but at least we can smile coz we know we have put all our efforts at best..."
"... selalunya kawan lebih mengerti situasi dan keadaan yang dilalui tanpa perlu bertanya selalunya mereka telah menyediakan apa yang aku perlukan. Nak diambil serbasalah nak ditolak takut di kata tak pandai nak berterimakasih. Tersepit antara persoalan 'adakah kawan lebih baik dari kamu'.
Dimana kesilapan aku yang tidak dapat aku putuskan. Salah aku bila aku merasakan dia juga pasti melebihkan aku. Silap lagi. Tapi itulah kelemahanku. Sayang pada siapa juga tanpa membatasi pada siapa yang harus kudahulukan dan ditolong. Seharusnya diriku dulu bukan orang lain. Tapi aku mahu DIA sentiasa menolong ku dalam apa jua waktu. Maka dengan itu aku tidak segan-segan melakukan apa seharusnya ku lakukan bila seseorang memerlukan.
Dan aku tahu DIA sentiasa ada disisiku walau kau tiada untukku....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Rahsia
Everyone has their own set of secret that can be shared and not.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
Just like the colour contrast on my last blog update. The secret was yellow or the hidden colour that combines those two, to become the background. No matter how different the colour are but the secret is to make those two beautiful and outstanding. Hence the hidden are the beauty and the secret of the recipe to both.
UPSR results are out last week. The secret of being tough and strong mother is the kids. Although my first daughter did not make the outstanding marks but her sister has made me proud of all the hardworks and heartache I went through.
She has been remarkable outstanding in her performance for life, school and herself. Although she can only get 4As but still I think she has done so much. She has finished quran 3 times, she is the athelete for 3 years, has made her way to MSWP, MSSM being obedient girl to me and has given me the best. No one can give me the best gift except my children and for that I am the proudest mother as for now.
My Klang girlfriend called me and blurted her wonder, her dissapointment of her son achievement over his 4As. At the end of the conversation she accused me that i dont understand her situation, her question, her amazement towards what she wants from god was just to grant her son achievement in the UPSR and not her life, her happiness and wellbeing.
I am upset for not being able to convinced her that is still a small testament HE is giving before she gave her TOTAL happiness, achievement and also fulfilling life later. At the end we both cry together.
It is hard to advice when one has already has her set of mind a failure in life all along. I was sad for she cant except the way to look at her own future, her own goal and set of life. She keep on looking at her past as a path to look for tomorrow.
Once, I was there who not able to see lights in the future because I set it to be gloomy, cloudy and hazy. But I beat the feeling by asking question after question to myself, over my performance, over what have I done to myself, community, life or HIM. Once I get the answer, once I know it was not in my hand, once I know I have not had an answer for it, I pass it back to HIM. Let HIM organise, let HIM lead, let HIM decide for me. If it is not for now, it may be for tomorrow or even maybe it was not destine for me.
Now I have things more clearly and I lead my life one at the time. Thanks to friends who have not given up to be there, who has been nice and always had the strong motivation words to give everytime I need it. Now I am more focus of what I want, where I go, whom I should be with, which one I shoud prioritise with and why am I still here for everything.
Alhamdullillah thank god for the lights and patience to make me understand the predicament is only temporary.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Lovely Piece
Look at this piece which amaze me. It was take by our Malaysian astronaut. The uniqueness of HIS creation which add the reason to believe that HE is the ALMIGHTY and the creator of all. The beauty lies not just int he piece of land its also in the piece of mind and its undescribeable.
Blue and white entice me so much on top of the world while Green n brown bring me down to earth. Two separate tonnation, two separate kinds unseparable. Day and nights it bring its own beauty n life.
Keeping this picture will always remind me of HIM. Somewhere that i never go, never even comes to mind how does it looks. With our astronaut the miracle was delivered in a form of picture which can be seen by everyone of us.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Nikmat Illahi
Semakin meningkat umur semakin membuatkan aku cekal dan tabah. Jika dulu aku sering memikirkan sesuatu terlalu mendalam dengan mengambil kira semua angle sekarang aku masih tetapi tidak lagi kalut jika ianya tidak hadir pada waktu itu. Aku hanya akan mengendalikannya jika waktu itu perlu ditangani ketika itu.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Hari-hari yang kulalui lebih mudah bila aku tahu apa yang aku mahu dan apa yang patut kudahului. Jika dulu aku berada diantara celahan teman, kerja dan anak-anak dengan penuh kekalutan. Kini anak-anak menjadi priority, kemudian kerja dan akhirnya mereka yang memerlukanku.
Seberapa pentingnya mereka dalam hidup tapi penting lagi mendahulukan diriku dalam apa jua. Aku tidak mahu diganggu oleh fikiran yang tak menentu. Kesannya kedalam hidupku akan menjejaskan emosi harianku. Kini semua berjalan lancar. Mereka yang masih tidak lagi memahami aku, kubiarkan mereka mengambil masa untuk menyelesaikan andaian mereka dan biarlah ianya berlalu.
Jika mereka datang semula dan memerlukan aku atas dasar tertentu maka begitu juga layananku. Setiap orang ada harga diri, maruah dan keinginan. Yang selama ini aku ketepi kan hanya kerana satu hubungan. Tapi kini aku ingin menilai sebuah hubungan itu atas dasar keikhlasan diriku. Aku tidak ingin lagi melakukannya kerana aku terpaksa ataupun aku terhutang budi atau untuk apa alasan sekalipun.
Aku ingin tiap sesuatu itu terdorong dari niat yang ikhlas dari hati dan jiwa ku. Aku ingin tuhan juga menolongku dalam setiap waktu aku memerlukannya. Mungkin pada seseorang atau individu aku terlalu mementingkan harga diri dan maruah, tetapi bukankan itu yang harus aku pertahankan.
Ikhlas juga mempunyai erti dan makna yang cukup luas untuk ditelusi. Buat ketika ini biarlah hanya aku saja yang tahu apakah yang ingin ku harapkan, ketelusuri dan aku insafi.
Detik-detik yang berlalu kukutip lagi malam tadi dan cuba untuk ku halusi dan analisi secara terperinci. Namun aku tak jumpa dimana kunci atau pun nodanya. Selama ini aku cuma memberi dan tidak ingin meminta kerana keikhlasan pemberian itu bukan untuk ku raih semula faedahnya dari seseorang maupun individu. Aku ingin merasakan nikmatnya dan kepuasan pada diriku sendiri.
Perjalanan harian banyak memberiku pengalaman yang amat bermakna untuk meneliti kehidupan dan mengapa ianya terjadi sebegitu rupa. Kini aku pasrah, aku tidak lagi mengejar awan nan tinggi, menanti pelangi nan indah kerana ia pasti hadir dalam mimpi jikaku inginkan kehadirannya menemaniku
Aku tidak memerlukan mimpi yang indah kerana hari yang indah sentiasa menemaniku. Aku tidak mahu menunggu sepi kerana keriangan berada didalam diri. Aku hanya perlu mengikhlaskan diri pada setiap situasi maupun dugaan yang diberi kerana mensyukuri nikmatnya menjadikan ianya lebih asyik dan manis untuk dikecapi.
Malam kau hadir mendinginkan hatiku yang lara, marah dan tercela. Namun ia umpama tisian embun dipagi hari merona pagi yang disinar mentari. Biar hawanya panas namun redupnya pagi tetap dinanti. Setiap hari satu rona pergi memberi berbagai tinggalan kemanisan hidup ini.
Aku tidak lagi rindukan sesiapa hanya kurindukan syahdunya rasa bila sujud kehadratnya. Meminta pada yang sudi memberi, bersyukur pada yang sentiasa mendengar, menghiba pada yang sentiasa ada memerhatikan, ketawa padanya membukakan mata hatiku menerima anugerahnya.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Jumbo Sale
My fren is migrating so she needs to sell of her items:
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Kia Caren 2002 Selling price RM47,000 (neg)
House for Rent Desa Pandan (3rooms 2 bathrooms) part furnish with aircon & cabinet RM1,300
Household items etc
Please call: Rome Malik (0192260252)
email: romemalik@yahoo.com
or email me at: farmgirl2k2@gmail.com
Monday, October 29, 2007
D' Datins Club Gatherings
I was invited for her daughter birthday party. There is many people including Chinese and Indian, not forgetting singles and married. As a friend i came bringing all four plus my mom to accompany me because she wanted to meet her during raya and she wasnt in town.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
So the party went well. It finished about 10pm more or less. The people was very friendly, that one thing i love being in that gathering. They serve nice food too. My kids enjoy that very much that night and collapsed soon after we reached home.
I went to Yatee's place the next day, and so she is. They were talking about the party. Who turn up and whos not. I was lost and keep quiet and only talk when they asked me about it.
suddenly she asked me about Linda been calling me??? I was lost n told them frankly theres only two ocassions of smses and that was it. No further after that.
D Datins' club talking was not really in my cup of tea because:
1. Im not in their shoe in any case i cant put myself into it n feel what they feel.
2. They lifestyle are different (the energy, aura, feel, needs are totally different from me especially)
I dont want to be in the topic because i think i cant be like one of them and i just want to be like what i am, who i am, where i am... hearing too much complicates me further. I had enough complications. I dont want more.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Pengertian
The call received on Wednesday afternoon was a shocked but since he was the one to tell me the news when he is better.
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
But that night a call from my sister again put me in panick mode and in 15 minutes i was ready packed and set to go. He called again when i was on the way to airport with mom to visit him. He tame me not to come for i needed the money for Raya for my children preparation and etc.
I really dont know what to do and at the same time there was no flight that night anymore. The next day i checked out the schedule and there wasnt any flight for that day and Friday. I feel more gloomy n checked his situation now and then.
When he was ok he is ok, he talk, he laugh and he jokes but in the afternoon when i called was on the way to the office he was back to his position cant talk and was weak and he was ready to be transfered to hospital again.
I then make the reservation morning flight took me to the destination with connecting flight to KK and then Sandakan. I cant express the feelings i have that day even till now.
Everything clampsed all inside me between the many reasons brought me there despite what he said to me. Only when i observe the situation, condition and look what has brought him to that will only make me feel better.
Two nights there having the feel to understand the situation and condition gives me better picture why it attacks his sugar level down that doesnt give him energy to do anything and not talking too.
Managing the situation in a very tight conditions makes me feels thankful to HIM for still giving me the opportunity to see him, hold his hand and ask for his forgiveness.
With that too allow me to know my other sister and families in Sabah and know them close to heart. Now i know why i do look like Chinese, why i look like Indon, why people say i am not having the typical malay looks.
With the warm gesture and hospitality from that never put my mind away far from my children who awaits for me to come home as soon as possible.
With direct flight from Sandakan to KL brought me home with 1001 feelings last night. Having to understang why god creates human with emotions and feelings and brains.
To all Muslim readers "Selamat menyambut Hari Raya"
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The beauty of words in the unfold life experience
Glad that people notice the eagerness, greediness and selfishness in them. I am always agree to that. As human we can run away from that feelings. The needs in us sometimes put away our sensibility and the building of the needs and wanting kills the good sense of ownself.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
I noted everytime i say things about this people would say i hear from one side not both. Wise person will not take a side feedback but all. Not one, not two but surroundings too. I smile i like that thought. I love to observe people, i like to ask question, i like to know their favourite colours, their eating habits, their way of thinking, their hobbies, their handwriting, their way of eating.
All of those will give you what a person are actually. Having to work with socio science area, doing survey on attitude and behaviours, reading and be with them successful and medium rank and also from lower rank of people do me wonders. Of how to appreciate the life that I am having now.
Being happy to work, to eat well, to love all those around me and also being able to nurture as a mother, friends, employee and etc. I thank god for all i have today.
With that observation, surveys, questions and answer, I have had good spread of well balance example on why are things created on their own ways. Not many will interprate it right. It takes time for one to understand the importantance to understand one situation or incidence happened.
I dont have to explain all here, as all the important values are kept only for my own observation, use and future reference. All i can do is just give more of my time and effort to say this to me "if those things are meant for you, it will be for you" . And i always believe in having faith that god is fair n knows best why he give you what you are having now.
You may have lots of money but are lack of attention and love, you may have lots of love but you may not have millions of dollars. If the opportunity is there but u dont work hard u will not get anything out of it at all. So reader dont just assume you have known it all, dont just assume you have read all because the hidden write ups in your life is never unfold if you are not addressing it yourself.
Semuga ramadhan memberi hidayah dan keberkatan.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Aku atau Dia....
The facts that we are the same.Yang mungkin membezakan itu cuma karektor, attitude and behaviour.
My classmate call me out of nowhere with a tales story of a man. About him marrying 22 years old girl. About meeting her in 5 months and be able to buy her a house, giving her business, expensive watches, handbags, outfits etc. With my calm tone i told her to be patience and seek for HIS blessings and mercy for guidance and help. He cant leave his fellow asking without an answer and help her in her difficulties.
I have known her for over 20 years. She was my classmate, my collegemate, and my clubbing mate during our teen age. We live nearby, we date together, we share our stories, we share our plate and lots of other things too. I know him, I know her 1st boyfriend, i know her previous boyfriend and i know who she married too. Since she got married she become introvert. I hear from her once a while, i call her for rumah terbuka and some other occassion. I met her only once a while since then.
A month ago she traced me back and leave me an email that makes me curious about her life now. Since then she turned to me whenever she needs a friend to talk to. We become like the old teenage friend but this time being an advisor and lending an ear whenever she needs me.It happens around me all the time. If it is not my friend it is your friend or her friend friend's. Its too common. In her case I cant detect the lack of attention, love and passion like its always told by those men. He gets all he needs from a wife, a woman, a mother and also from a lover.
Man are just greedy at times, selfish when they can only see one side of the world. And I am the listener the observer taking all the inputs and download it in my box of heart computing and compiling it for the next chapter of life. I can just wish and make sure she will be better and be more patience of the obstacles. This is only one part. While other people face the worse like the case of Jurin.
Three of my daughters celebrate her birthdays few days ago and i am suppose to plan for break fasting outside one of this days. Sunday we are going to visit Rumah anak Yatim in Klang to share their experience with them.
My classmate call me out of nowhere with a tales story of a man. About him marrying 22 years old girl. About meeting her in 5 months and be able to buy her a house, giving her business, expensive watches, handbags, outfits etc. With my calm tone i told her to be patience and seek for HIS blessings and mercy for guidance and help. He cant leave his fellow asking without an answer and help her in her difficulties.
I have known her for over 20 years. She was my classmate, my collegemate, and my clubbing mate during our teen age. We live nearby, we date together, we share our stories, we share our plate and lots of other things too. I know him, I know her 1st boyfriend, i know her previous boyfriend and i know who she married too. Since she got married she become introvert. I hear from her once a while, i call her for rumah terbuka and some other occassion. I met her only once a while since then.
A month ago she traced me back and leave me an email that makes me curious about her life now. Since then she turned to me whenever she needs a friend to talk to. We become like the old teenage friend but this time being an advisor and lending an ear whenever she needs me.It happens around me all the time. If it is not my friend it is your friend or her friend friend's. Its too common. In her case I cant detect the lack of attention, love and passion like its always told by those men. He gets all he needs from a wife, a woman, a mother and also from a lover.
Man are just greedy at times, selfish when they can only see one side of the world. And I am the listener the observer taking all the inputs and download it in my box of heart computing and compiling it for the next chapter of life. I can just wish and make sure she will be better and be more patience of the obstacles. This is only one part. While other people face the worse like the case of Jurin.
Three of my daughters celebrate her birthdays few days ago and i am suppose to plan for break fasting outside one of this days. Sunday we are going to visit Rumah anak Yatim in Klang to share their experience with them.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Ramadhan
I want a change this year but yet to let it happen. I am blurred now and very unstable emotionally. Other than that its is sweet. Pressured was pinned on me n i know it was huge and a lot more on him. I am being ignored because he cant do 2 things at the same time. But being sensible at this time will kill the security feeling of someone. So let them fell shaken a little. I just hope HE keep my patience still and i dont have to walk away like i have been before.
To all my spacers who knows me alhamdullillah and thanks for the wishes and smses, Selamat menunaikan ibadah dan semuga Ramadhan membawa hidayah dan ukhuwah.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Selamat BerPuasa
Selamat Berpuasa to all my readers, blog hoppers and everyone who drops by.
Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak
Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sesuatu Yang Membuka Mata Hati
"oi aku nak minta maaf ni" I was blurr tetiba
"Arini malam nisfu syaaban, malam segala buku dosa diangkat allah kesana, marilah kita bermaafan." Hati ku dihiris dan dihimpit oleh kesedihan
Teman akan sentiasa ingat dan mengingatkan kita bila mana perlu.
Dan seorang lagi datang "lynna jangan lupa tadi mak aku call dia kata jangan lupa qiamulai malam ni" dan dia memandang tepat kemata aku "buat solat hajat minta apa yang you nak"
I wanted to cry but my heart are not allowing it. My eyes is watery but nothing comes out. I have series of arguments, i have been consoling, i have been tempting to burst but i become cool and compose all the mixture feelings in me to be compressed.
HE knows the best. Alhamdullillah he opened my eyes and soul tonite.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Pentas Hidup
After 3 years marriage will change slightly
After 5 years gap became bigger
After 7 years bridge may be a good outcome to connect each other
After 10 years something will come up
Of all the stages it includes silentness, arguments, heart feeling, pinpointing and the worst is infedility. Man turn to another woman and woman turn to another woman (mostly) but some will turn to another man
Women change mostly after the first baby appears. Thinking that little creature need their attention and neglecting the father are the biggest mistake. Women thought man can take care of their self. Knowing of the character of a man who is hard on the surface but actually more like a baby inside them.
Looking and searching always after a security, love, pamper, care, affections etc, that are the real man. Those who really knows how to play their role won't be feeling it badly because they have ways to mend the problem well. Knowing their woman are the best things they could do. And understanding why the changes took place are their credibility.
Note that im talking about a man who understand their woman enough. All men has ego, so do women.
But because nature of a women which is soft, lovable, emotional and feminine it makes them know where they are from and what are they heading. Mostly they are loyal although they are obsessed with the kids, family and some who has career. They put off their social life entirely just because they want full concentration of their family.
But still man are not enough of their woman who give 200% of their life to families. They need something to tickle they thoughts, their mind and feelings.
Some are just tickling without any emotional attention seeking. As they reach home the other half and family are their life. But at work calling and smsing are part of their routine life.
Some girls may be fine with the situation but for those single who are seeking for someone caring, understanding this are the right candidate and how that reflect those men?? (Sendiri cari pasal sendiri tanggung).
Back to the gaps that emerge after few years marriage, there is no reason for gaps actually. It’s the understanding needed between both. For the attention needed by the little ones as well as the big baby. Both has played good role in making the happy family.
Role of a father who has been out the whole day to bring bread home for families and role of a mother who may be working day time and rushed home to fulfilled the role as mother, wife and a lady to a man taking care of the whole welfare in making the marriage meaningful to her and him plus the kids should be taken seriously in making sure that both understand each duties.
But does this responsibilities make them needing each other more and better in terms of having each other to complete the beautiful life???
I know sometime things happen without we want it to be. Things just go out of ways unintentionally. Some would just do it because they want to fulfilled the eagerness of being needed some would just follow the flow without realizing they have gone so far.
Backtrack, think wisely will benefit both.
This reflectionary item will of course affects my decision.
Insecure and Inferior
But unfortunately the feels never dies as all of us human are created in a way to have the mixture sort.
One can do anything to reverse that feeling in them and make others have that miserable feeling but of course one who knows what they are wont feel the slight of it at all.
Lain Padang Lain Belalang
Nak Gelak Sikit
jo an: emmmm kalau pinggang girl 35...u agak di chubby takPlease urself: thats not my problem n not for me to answer i dont go n check ppl bmi???
Thats my answer. I can be cynical and i can be cunning but the truth is women will never ask the man if he wear pants size 40 would he look nice in it or not?? Theres is some women who will give a shit about bmi and how the man look but some will care less.
As for me Ive been with small, big, tall, thin, chubby, macho, handsome not to forget masculine guys to be friend with. What more important to me was who is he than how he looks.
Looks can be deceiving. Nice to see, but not nice to talk with. Nice to be with but speaks nonsense I turn around and leave.
Anyway thats how men look at women, judging from the way she looks, her BMI do entice them.
Anyway lain padang lain belalang!!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Measuring
When i don't agree to meet, was that a measure of arrogantness?
When im being expressive is that the best way to measure who am i or what am i?
When im being judge should i care what people think about me?
If my principle is being question would that make me less than a person?
If im in bad mood should i not laugh or smile at all to other people?
Im fine today it was just my mood swing on certain situation that doesnt make me happy today. Other than that, im fine. I was judged and critisize today the silly statement i made n that was accountable of who i am in their eyes. "Sigh"
Life and people are two different thing.
When im being expressive is that the best way to measure who am i or what am i?
When im being judge should i care what people think about me?
If my principle is being question would that make me less than a person?
If im in bad mood should i not laugh or smile at all to other people?
Im fine today it was just my mood swing on certain situation that doesnt make me happy today. Other than that, im fine. I was judged and critisize today the silly statement i made n that was accountable of who i am in their eyes. "Sigh"
Life and people are two different thing.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Expressive or Silent
However this topic occur my mind today.
Being expressive hardly attracts acceptance from people. But silent is a killing tools for communication.
Being expressive hardly attracts acceptance from people. But silent is a killing tools for communication.
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