Catching my page again

Current mood: cheerful
Category: Blogging


Blog ini semakin sepi...

Kerana aku tak punya waktu untuk meninjau maupun menulis. Waktuku tertebus dengan kehidupan seharian yang penuh. Ruang yang kosong cuma untuk tidur dan yang sedikit untuk dikongsi dengan mereka yang paling dekat.

Dad is back till after my birthday. Will be celebrating parents birthday by the end of this month hopefully since dad in the beginning and mom end of June. Perfect... n soon it will be then my brother and next mine.

So much to write so little space to spare. But life goes just like what i wanted to be. On certain circumstances I dont have much to comments nor to complaint. Im tight but im still leaving town on a regular basis.

Im going to visit Jakarta again for my birthday since Singapore is not likely to be seen anywhere. But who says i cant spare that moment. I will have to try. Its a must. Singapore sale is almost done but the memoirs of the celebration on few occasions never leaves my mind.

Wonderful is still waiting, amoi is still checking which bus im gonna hop in. More likely this time im going to Chitos or rather, Plaza Anggerik or Senayan or maybe Pasar Baru n get my potrait done.

Bali is schedule somewhere in August. This year im full with travel plans and self indulgence. Problems, yes there are but if men can put it aside so do me...

Till then I'll write again.

Jakarta Revisit

It was visited again after 2 months. This time only two of us with clear intentions and minds. He came along after an option given either him or her? ;-) Yes he doesn't know if Rome will be meeting me there. He was shocked when i told him we will meet my besties on the second nite.

Again the revisit was total successful and a blast as I am going with intentions and fully alert of what i want. Only problems when he made wrong calculations and it spoill the entire journey but arghhh thank god besties is there to save me. Yeah alhamdullillah in anyways she is always there to save me.

Friendship

Why i choose this subject?

It has very deep meaning to me. How do i classify my friend, in what degree, category? Every one has their on set and segments. Very much of them are only on the top level. There is very few selected ones who earn my trust.

And those are very rare and hard to find. Why did i say that? I dont easily choose a fren amongst those ppl i meet, i saw, or pick from anywhere. I am a very choosy and selective person in terms of matching a person to jive with my personality.

Observation are first thing i do when i go out and meet people. I dont talk to just anyone if i dont want to and dont be nice if im not nice to you because i wont at all entertain you.

Some will commented I am hard person from the first look they see, some will easily label me a happy go lucky, some would just label me hard to please. I can be anything you want so long i wanted to play along with you. I suit and cater mine according to you.

How do i gain the trust and how do i trust my friends is very hard to explain. Im not a particularly easily commenting on people but i take critics and your recommendations base on subject, factual and situation. But how do i gain that trust really take long time to own it.

The pain which was carried along was hard to forget even its long forgiven. It leave me a very bad impact as i never ever easily trusting a person again until last nite when i post a question "can you be my friend".

This question has a very deep meaning. Nobody in my life had ever had this question if i have given them the priviledge. Why do I asked those question? While to be a friend some thinks we don’t need to ask but we just need to feel the click the chemistry. Out of many you find out there, I may be one who asked you this question. Why?

I have so many things to share but I scared that not many people would understand why I do it, I execute it, I keep it, I use it, whatever it is. I have so many issues kept in my box of trust having not revealed to anyone. And I am tired to keep it longer. I want a fren who understand this and share his or her idea.

I have one female version which I shared some and I want to have one male version where I can just pick up my fon and bombard with some questions and when I put the receiver I will be able to smile and tell myself ‘done! Your box is empty now’.

Again trust is the issue. No I don’t fully trust anyone. Although my best friend has some degree achieved but not fully. I reserved that 40% for me. I know they should not also trust me fully but its all up to them. I would not pushed them to do as i say. You are a free bird. Feel free to be who you are, what you are.


What makes I think you would? Good question to you and to me. Instinct I guess or merely on my super first observation. Perhaps and hopefully im not wrong this time.

3 infact that I used to call always somehow have gone. One with bz life, two because he asked me to stop that friendship. Why? Only and n him would know and understand why. And three I don’t have that standard to reveal to him. I want fresh anew.

Let me take the risk since I am not always confidence with myself and others let him take this chance to help me, to make me understand more n fully about each and individuals are unique, beautiful and individual.

Successfull Reunion!!!

Finally it happens. At 2pm Fuzila came to my place hoping she can help on anything. Everything was planned and done except to my horror when roti jala arrive up only we realize its without the curry. Immediate i change my uniform again to be in the kitchen and chicken curry was on the stove in the next minute.

Sazuna was the first to appear on time and later came Nani, Zurimah, Zanzirah, Nojie, Nona, Anita, Jijah, Suraya, Teh, Ajie, Miza, Nafsiah (class monitor with lots of short circuit)

Spagethi, roti jala, currypuff, serimuka and carrot cake all laid nicely but then again catching the times was more precious then having those delicacies. Tired of laughing and when thirst starting to hurts the throats n stomach they continue with eating and talking again.

Most of them never change in terms of look, appearance and character. Some do, yes size varies, outlook, and way of behaviour. Thinking again way back when we were just teens what was potray on our face was just fun, happy without anything else. But now some show tremendously on how they potray themselves.

Some of us still single and available, some are married with my god 'meriahnya rumah mak kalau sekeluarga dijemput' (with Nafsiah accent), and some are single again with kids whom shortly will be married and we will be the Aunt Nenek's tuanya aku).

But all in all it was a success and it was the jolly good feeling we have after the reunion. We are trying to get as money number so to make more to join us and capture this in our memory again

Here are some pictures for us to remember.

Catching Old Time Friends

Current mood: amused
Category: Friends


So many years we did not meet since the last we left school. So many information that i gathers along with the chat and laugh that caught over the phones. One gatherings is not enough and next is coming soon this weekend.

Hoping that i could get as many of them to come to the not so first meeting again after almost 20 years not meeting them.

I'm supposing its good to meet again but the story told before the meeting took place already feels like a heavyweight materials carried in my heart.

Argghh I am very emotional but then again its my classmate that im talking about whom i shared all the laughter, all the playful act during the class all the gossips about Chocranes Boys and so on.

Anyway i am very much looking forward to meet them again without any hesitation despite their status. Single and available, married but avaialble or even was married and available. Whatever they are, they are very much invited for the events.

Im hoping that all will turn well and will get as many to come and share the joyous event after almost a decade.

Thoughts of the Day - How important to Share in Marriage views from A Wife

- "A simple gesture, coming from my back, holding my waist, kissing my neck and whisper "good morning, sayang", is enough to make me smile the whole day. that gesture doesnt have to end with love making. but that was just that. (of course, if it carries to another level...oppss.. that's a different story la kan). those little gestures that hubby did and those little thoughts that he had, are those that spark the love back to our life. and that made me love him more. thank you sayang.

i feel like a small girl. learning, unlearning and relearning things. feeling the lost feelings. recovering the smiles. i guess, hubby is doing his extra best and working extra hard this time in this marriage. i too am working hard. we both have our shares. well, this is marriage kan? it takes two to tango. one cant be holding the weight too much as it will surely collapse. we both are now leading our life back together positively and insya allah, all is well".

Penned by - guile -

My Favourite Male Singer

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

Kegetiranku...

While indulging dark chocolates with Almond and Mint Chocs, here i am writing my heart out to the mute screen and ever always available to receive any downpour or jolly good stuff.

The chocolate taste is good. Its a theraphy for emotional attack. For those whose dieting or watching the weight would not indulge in having this sinful therapy. Since my car are not allowing me to drive far away from here hence i have to just make do with whatever i can.


"Tidak bersyukurkah aku kerana tidak mahu menerima atau memahami?" Besties is pouring what ever she felt since last Friday. Now i hear only good things about her and him. Im glad when she is happy. Not wanting her to go back to her past and keep on telling her not to compare but enjoy whatever she has now while she can.

If for me i will have the benchmark of the odd numbers of months and then years and so on. Skeptical aye??? Yeah, i am. I wont deny me...

Its good to have some one who understands you very much on work, life and future. Although very much you have to be alarmed at all time as all we have are temporary.

Mine are very much stagnant as I always said. "If you don't change, I will!" And so i would not wait so much for him to call, to ask or rather to concern of my daily behaviour. Hey, for the past 6 years i am a survivor cant i not be still?

Hearing my conversation again with my new confidante.
"Orang akan rimas dengan emotional tantrum you or if you dont let people know, how would people understand you?"

Sebagai kawan atau kekasih,perlukah kita menyusahkan mereka. Ketika aku susah hati atau terlalu terdesak, segalanya akan tersungkam didalam dada sehingga terasa amat berat sekali. Namun untuk meluahkan ketika itu amat payah.

Yes, last week i managed to detach my mind from all of my friends who used to look after me. For once i tried and i am successful in doing it so much to know my ability to have them with me along with the situation.

Yes, i was so broken hearted with my family, my love ones but i did not even told anyone there n then. My children saw my eyes was glistening with tears. "Akak sygkan ibu"

She caught me pouring when she call almost midnite, i ask her why she took so long to reach me when i forgot that i have detach that emotional and mind bondage earlier. She always hear my heart out whenever i need her she would always be on the other end asking "are you ok"

Not just her few other girlfriends, yes thats the one thing i can do. Just call them from my end in the mind and they will come to line in few seconds. But never i took that opportunity to use my fren to my advantage. Never... Ill do it for the best of them to have the specialities of connecting with people.

Another question is "perlukah aku berteman?"
"Perlukah aku mempunyai lelaki didalam hidupku hanya kerana ingin memenuhi kekurangannya dan juga keperluan dirinya"

Benarkah kekurangan diriku itu akan menghimpit dan menyusahkan orang lain. Kerana itu aku tidak pernah berkejar kerumah mak kalau aku susah hati atau dihimpit masalah kewangan. Anak2 akan faham bila kalanya aku tidak ada. Aku pastikan anak2 aku cukup makan walau hanya dengan telur goreng dan kicap. Tidak juga berada di sekeliling teman2 yang lain.

Aku akan mengelak diri dari sebarang kegiatan luar rumah pada masa2 aku getir. Tahap2 kritikal amat hampir tetapi aku tetap tersenyum dan bersyukur. Semuga allah sentiasa mendengar kata hati aku walau aku bukan hambanya yang soleh namun aku akan sentiasa ingat akan DIRINYA.

Namun selagi ingatan terhadapnya tak putus selagi itu tidak akan putus pertolongan DARINYA. Cuma aku ada masalah dengan sesama insan untuk meminta kerana harga diri! Sedangkan aku tahu aku masih kuat lagi dan mampu untuk menanggung dan bekerja mengapa aku harus menyusahkan mereka sedangkan aku tak tahu sejauh mana kesusahan mereka pula.

SALAH KAH AKU?

Three things in Life...

Three things in life once gone never come back........
1. Words. 2. Opportunity.
3. Time.

Three things in life are never sure.
1. Dreams.
2. Success.
3. Fortune.

Three things in life that make you a great person.
1. Hard Work.
2. Sincerity.
3. Success.

Three things in life are most valuable..
1. Love.
2. Self respect.
3. Friends.

Three things in life must not be lost....
1. Peace
2. Hope
3. Honesty.

Three things in life that destroy a person...
1. Greed.
2. Pride.
3. Anger.