I am very tired of thinking lately. My brain just refused to think hard on situation i am facing. Be it with office nor relationship. If i were to fight just to make sure he or me was right i would have call n apologizing. Im too tired to keeping to apologize. I just want to believe in HIM. If HE said he belongs to me he will be back or else, let him go n fly achieving his dreams.
My full attention will be on my kids, to feed, to love, to affect, to attend to them attentively. I was all alone until i found what love, n hurt is. I devote myself for a man, giving everything i have even m not sure. But HE says i must love HIM more not just him being a husband.
Hence i understand why until now i am still alone. HE wants me to devote myself to HIM only. I keep on delaying what i need to do in preparing myself to be whom i need to in HIS eye. I hope he will forgive me n still show me the path of being a good mother, dotter and someone in everyones life.
I dont own anything right now even successful being a mother yet. I would just still pray and hope one day love will come to me. If not i would just love HIM who had give me the best food, best children, best life, best mother, best laugh, to able to share, to give, to love, to understand and give, and give...
I just want to understand why i am always take wrongly.
I wont ask anymore, i will give, the way HE give it to everyone under the sun, on the earth, within the air and above the sea. Love keep me going, keep loving me...
i am sinking in my own hurt, pain and tears. But i will always be thankful to allah because he had made me think of him, love him more for giving me the pain to remind me always that i have HIM. Dear allah please lift up a little bit of pain as i am really sinking.
